Welcome BACK warriors!
🎊#EduGladiators NEW series - Rethinking Discipline w/@heathercalvert starts NOW! Plus FREE Laptop Sticker giveaway during the chat!
But 1st...introductions!
Please share who you are, how & where you "gladiate" for students!
#EduGladiators
Good morning everyone! Thank you for joining us for what is a very important topic in education today. We understand that building relationships is a huge part in education, but how do we keep those relationships strong when talking about discipline w parents. #EduGladiators
tyler here! Newly living in upstate New York after moving here three weeks ago from California. Former Jr High teacher who now works in higher ed #EduGladiators
Good morning, #EduGladiators, Mark here, elementary principal in Hopkins, MN. Arrived home early this morning after an amazing vacation in Puerto Rico. Looking forward to seeing students and colleagues Monday morning.
Happy New Year #EduGladiators Kathy Miller from WI - though we can’t tell that by the weather! Excited for young adults that will be presenting at the @waukeshaone
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Welcome BACK warriors!
🎊#EduGladiators NEW series - Rethinking Discipline w/@heathercalvert starts NOW! Plus FREE Laptop Sticker giveaway during the chat!
But 1st...introductions!
Please share who you are, how & where you "gladiate" for students!
#EduGladiators
Welcome BACK warriors!
🎊#EduGladiators NEW series - Rethinking Discipline w/@heathercalvert starts NOW! Plus FREE Laptop Sticker giveaway during the chat!
But 1st...introductions!
Please share who you are, how & where you "gladiate" for students!
#EduGladiators
I’d say FREQUENT communication and transparency about what is happening in the classroom! Schools with one to one devices can leverage these platforms to keep parents ALWAYS connected! #EduGladiators
Happy New TweetYear! Dr. Nancy Sulla joining #EduGladiators - creator of the Learner-Active, Technology-Infused Classroom #LATIC; Pres @IDECorp; author of ...
A1. First, listen to what they have to share. Ask for clarification when you don't understand. Let them share without interruption. Take notes of important points. #EduGladiators
A1: 3:1 I always try to start the conversation with a positive, sandwich the difficult topics in between, and always end with a compliment. #EduGladiators
A1: Listen first, without judgement. We have to remember that their child is their life. It's easier to think this way when you have children, but if you don't, just keep this in mind. #EduGladiators
A1. Using the language of "partner" or "team"- we both want the same thing...what's best for their child. Keeping that perspective as you hear their hearts. #EduGladiators
A1: I believe you must keep in mind that this is their child you are talking to them about. Be calm & understanding. Focus on positive aspects of their child. Build good relationships from the beginning. Communicate often & LISTEN to their concerns. @EduGladiators#EduGladiators
A1 Start w/ the positive! What does child do well? Relationships are already positively formed - hopefully. Ps need to know strengths before being slammed. Avoid the slam. #edugladiators
A1) Conversations that start with the family knowing we are talking as a team. The plan is to collaborate to solve the case not asking them to punish the incident. #EduGladiators
A1 Making it clear that we’re both working for the same goal. Listening mindfully. Showing empathy & letting them know they’re not alone: many Ps have gone through this. Reassuring them that we can find solutions.
#EduGladiators
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A1: Start & end with a positive comment. Ts have to remember these parents are sending their best to us. Glad I'm finally getting consistent with this. #EduGladiators
In reply to
@EduGladiators, @heathercalvert, @PaulONeill1972, @D4Griffin3, @BrendanFetters, @mgrosstaylor, @Rdene915, @Maverikedu12, @cskiles80, @SaneeBell, @mccoyderek
A1: First and foremost, listening. Most of the time they just want to be heard. (Learned that from my P @mrsrandijones) Also, scheduled times for meetings if possible give you a chance to prepare. #EduGladiators
Listen to them - listen to their whole story. If there is a challenge, empathize with them and invite them to be a part of the solution. #EduGladiators
A1 Giving Ps the time and space to share their perspectives, questions, and needs for clarification without interrupting or diminishing their thoughts #edugladiators
A1 Listen to parents first, always start with the positives and what good you’ve seen in/out of the classroom, & have a partnership with parents/student to work through difficult behaviors/challenges. #EduGladiators
A1. Before beginning the conversation, reflect for a moment on how you would want a similar conversation to unfold if it was going to be about your own child. #EduGladiators
A1: As a former campus administrator being the lead admin over 1300 students, I can tell you from experience that starting with listening and empathy (especially as a parent personally) was very helpful in seeking understanding and resolution. #EduGladiators
This is so important - and true! And, in many cases, it's probably not the first conversation they have had like this. Kindness matters. #EduGladiators
A1: Before addressing the problem(s) w/ a student or situation, start the conversation with the parent by providing some insight on the student’s accomplishments & potential.
#edugladiators
A1 I’ve found that making connections w Ps early & often about a variety of things (ie info, reminders, accomplishments, goals/milestones) make the more critical conversations about discipline much easier! #EduGladiators#champforkids
As an educator, before I had kids, i had a hard time when parents would devalue me. “You don’t have kids, you don’t understand.” As a parent now, I totally get it. It’s different. #EduGladiators
Yes! I tell parents all the time that they know their child better than I ever will and I know more children than they ever will. That’s what makes the #partnership work! #edugladiators
A1: At the high school level, the parents are often in the same boat--they're frustrated at home, too. It's important to not blame. Often, I try to focus on students' future plans and move the convo to how we can help the student reach them #EduGladiators
A1~ authenticity, mutual respect, language that supports understanding what each family brings to the conversation...
~a home visit always builds trust, common ground & honors our families ~ supports open communication, understanding ❤️
#EduGladiators
A1: Showing compassion helps. No parent like to talk about their child’s discipline issues. The goal should be to remediate the behavior which is a win win for parents and the school. Let them know that we are all on the same team and care for the student. #EDUgladiators
In reply to
@EduGladiators, @heathercalvert, @PaulONeill1972, @D4Griffin3, @BrendanFetters, @mgrosstaylor, @Rdene915, @Maverikedu12, @cskiles80, @SaneeBell, @mccoyderek
So glad you said this! Positives and compliments are important for relationships but can't be allowed to mask the reason for the concerns. #EduGladiators
Especially when you have a child that is on the conference list occasionally. ;) My daughter wasn't that way, my son, well... he makes friends quickly in class like his mama did. Lol! #EduGladiators
A1 parents want to know that their voice is being heard with mindfulness and compassion, especially those who are anxious about being judged because of the performance or behaviour of their child #EduGladiators
A1: start with the positives, it’s easier to talk about the good things. Parents need to know that we understand and care for their child. Parents also need to hear “we” not “I”. #EduGladiators
Lead with your Leadership Superskill empathy - listen to understand; put yourself in their shoes; see the situation through their eyes ... and maintain your SuperSkill of integrity throughout - never falter just because you're frustrated. #EduGladiators
A1: Listen, listen, listen. Sometimes people just need to vent or get things off their mind/chest. Once that is done, people usually are more rational for productive conversations. #EduGladiators
Listening to their side is key. They need the opportunity to vent sometimes. Often leads to info that may be useful in the school setting. #EDUgladiators
A1 As a parent the most productive convos I’ve had have ended in a feeling that you care about my child and are willing to teach me to do my part. Being invited into the class gives me peace and makes me feel part of the learning team. #EduGladiators
A1 when I share my own parenting struggles - we don’t need to be on the defensive - it’s not a judgement on you as a parent - every kid is different and we are all on team kid #EduGladiators
It’s important to not feed Ps wonderful compliments about their Ss to ease our own feelings about telling them problem behavior. We need to converse so that it’s not a character issue but addressing Ss choices. #edugladiators
Parents concerns need to be validated. Listening is the best way for this to happen. Then they know you care and are more likely to listen in return! #EduGladiators@EduGladiators
A1) Remember to separate the actions which are a learned behavior (which can be unlearned) from defining who the child is and will become. #EduGladiators
As a teacher years ago I was making phone calls about acknowledging positive student behavior, and one parent asked me "What did he do now?" when I introduced myself on the call. She cried when I told her it was just to highlight how well he was doing in class. #EduGladiators
A2: Bring the parent into the convo as soon as possible. Before it becomes major if it’s becoming a pattern. Nothing worse than hearing, “If this has been happening why hasn’t anyone said anything?” #EduGladiators
A2: early and often particularly when there is a pattern of inappropriate behavior. Otherwise, the conversation will become about communication and joy the causes of the misbehavior #edugladiators
A1. Start by listening & using words such as “us, we, our” to let parents know that we are all a part of a team to help their child. I have kids & when possible I can share similar experiences with them. I also take notes & follow up on their concerns. #EduGladiators
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A2. Families should always be involved. For each discipline issue that was brought to my office, I made a phone call home. If I couldn't reach anyone and it continued, I stopped by their home. #EduGladiators
Shared outcomes! I'm totally digging that Carla! That's a part of everyone in the dialogue feeling like they've been respected during the conversation. Honoring their "stake" as a stakeholder family. #EduGladiators
Good morning #EduGladiators.. I’m Urbie. I do instructional design for clinician #reimaginePD. I don’t work in K-12. I’m a parent of three and have three grand kiddos <5 I get to try #edustuff with.
A1: Learn how to have difficult conversations without having to have it surrounded by sugar. Parents appreciate honesty and they won’t get confused on the intent of the meeting. #edugladiators
A2: If it would better serve the parents/student to be involved, it’s time to call. I try to handle as much as I can on my own because I have a relationship with my students. #EduGladiators
A2: For me, I have to be at the point where I can't seem to build a relationship with the student and ideas from the principal and other teachers haven't worked. #EduGladiators
Humility. Showing an authentic willingness to alter my approach, and asking for their input.
0 defensive answers. Sometimes an irate parent just wants to be heard. It’s tough to be a punching bag, but sometimes it is what is best for the relationship.
#satchat#EduGladiators
In reply to
@EduGladiators, @heathercalvert, @PaulONeill1972, @D4Griffin3, @BrendanFetters, @mgrosstaylor, @Rdene915, @Maverikedu12, @cskiles80, @SaneeBell, @mccoyderek
A1: My conversations with parents begin with the positive - I tell them the things I love about their child & about his/her strengths. Then I genuinely LISTEN to their concerns and try to work with them to find a solution. #EduGladiators
A2. Many students don't have 'parents' in the traditional sense so I like to use the word 'family' when sharing online and during conversations. #EduGladiators
It’s important to use this sparingly. I don’t want to recenter the conversation around me; I use it from a place of empathy. I’m not always hitting the mark here; I constantly have to check myself! #EduGladiators
Bringing up parenting struggles yourself is a good one. When my son's teacher had issues a few years ago, she brought up her own issues with her sons and said she'd gone through it herself. It made me feel "not such a failure" :) #edugladiators
A2 We work with restorative practices. Ss are asked to reflect and try to make changes. If Ps are punitive it makes it harder to move forward so we call them in to discuss other ways to work with their child. We try to be on the same page.
#EduGladiators
A2) I like to bring parents in early on. Let them know how I'm moving ahead with figuring things out and tell them know I'll be in communication with them. #EduGladiators
A1: Always, always reminding myself and others that we are all humans trying to live our best lives and prepare kids to love THEIR best life!! I always thank parents for letting me spend a year with their most precious thing on the world! #EduGladiators
A2 I bring in most parents before too long as they want to know. If you’re partnering with parents, they need to have the whole picture! #EduGladiators
A2: It really depends on the discipline issue. If a student is disrespecting classmates, the call should happen immediately. If it's something like getting out of their seat a lot, that's something that can be handled in house. #edugladiators
A2. I think it's important to keep the parents involved in a discipline issue from early on. As Ts, it's key to have that communication open early, so that if admin become involved, the Ps aren't blindsided. I never want to be the 1st one to call home. #EduGladiators
A2 I start with the child first - there is often not a need to involve a parent as it takes away their independence and trust. If it continues, then, yes. Kids are more willing to work with me that way. I almost never write up for admin either - in house! #EduGladiators
This conversation often shocks parents, sadly. They are waiting for the shoe to drop. When done regularly these are the best part of the day! #EduGladiators
So true Kristen! I think if it’s not a high level act, we need to teach Ss how to improve behavior & give them a chance to self correct. But don’t wait too long before involving parents even if it’s to share what going on & opportunities to correct. #EduGladiators
Q1. Listen to understand, ask questions, invite a partnership to solve issues, and be honest! Culturize by @casas_jimmy is a great book to help with communication. #EduGladiators
A2. That totally depends on the issue and whether or not I’m on round one of the issue, or if the issue is becoming an issue. Uniform, lates, one thing, broke my respect rule that’s another. What is my “hill” with this child? #EduGladiators
A2: Parents should be involved along the way as partners. That being said, there are many day-to-day things that are quick, teachable moments where I don’t need to share w/parent. The rule I use as my guide... would I want to know about this if this were my child? #EduGladiators
A2: When Ps are contacted for every minor infraction Ps get frustated & Ss lose trust & confidence in you. I contact home when it is an infraction that requires a discpline referal or the behavior is having a direct impact on academics progress #EduGladiators@EduGladiators
Personal experience with the joys and pains of parenting are hard to replicate, but #empathy is powerful if you can keep it front and center in your conversations with parents! #edugladiators
In reply to
@KristenDolen, @historycomics, @EduGladiators
I'm totally digging the word "invite". It may seem like a matter of semantics, but it's essential. As a retired superintendent once asked us as a group of leaders, "Are you talking at those you lead or talking with them?" #EduGladiators
A2: I think once you start to see that there is a pattern of behavior issues it’s time to make the call. Be proactive but not over reactive. #Edugladiators
In reply to
@EduGladiators, @heathercalvert, @PaulONeill1972, @D4Griffin3, @BrendanFetters, @mgrosstaylor, @Rdene915, @Maverikedu12, @cskiles80, @SaneeBell, @mccoyderek
I think too many Ps have an us vs them mentality. We need to reassure them that we're all on the same team working for the good of their child.
#EduGladiators
A2 Early - to build positive relationships before patterns emerge. Try to make contact w/ all(most) by end of Sept. When problems arise, depends on issue. Minor: deal w/ Ss directly, contact Ps when behavior repeats. Dangerous/Destructive: right away! #edugladiators
#EduGladiators A1a At the elementary school my three girls went to the standard practice vis-a-vis teacher:parent convos was three Ts to one parent. Ex. 3 3rd grade Ts to me or Mrs. it was intimidating. When I was a kid my parents met 1:1 with Ts. What happened ~ 30 years?
I see that, but you can use it also as an opportunity. Acknowledge it, and appreciate the expertise that the parents have. That will empower them to help take the lead and craft solutions that will work. #EduGladiators
In reply to
@KristenDolen, @historycomics, @EduGladiators
A2) If there is a problem that may cause the S harm. Otherwise, you're on! Build student empowerment ... strengthen #executivefunction ... use tools like a Great Student Rubric to have Ss self-assess and learn to control themselves. #EduGladiatorshttps://t.co/sPUrxkZNBX
This is critical, and it's important because P's feel sometimes like no one is actually listening, but just giving the courtesy of "hearing them out", so they can rebuff them. #EduGladiators
A2) I like to touch base with families from the start. Why wait until the behaviors increase? Behavior is communication & families will be the best to help us interpret or understand what is happening. #EduGladiators
A2: I’d usually communicate with a parent, even if it’s a small issue, as every experience is learnable. It’s important for everyone to be on the same page #edugladiators
A1: Learn how to have difficult conversations without having to have it surrounded by sugar. Parents appreciate honesty and they won’t get confused on the intent of the meeting. #edugladiators
A2: parents need to know what’s going on the classroom. But don’t bring parents into the loop while you are still emotional about a situation - I wait until I (and the Ss) have cooled off a bit. I reread emails 100 times before I send them! #EduGladiators
We do training around “community engineering” and intentional invitations. That word is so powerful. An invitation is so much more empowering than a directive #edugladiators
A2. I think it depends on the infraction & the age of the Ss. @ the HS level, I try to guide the Ss to discover an alternative acceptable behavior because I’m trying to instill self discipline for minor things. For serious issues I immediately contact parents. #EduGladiators
A3) Diffuse, diffuse, diffuse. Use phrases like "If I understand you correctly, you're saying . . . " so the parent can hear themselves. "We may have to agree to disagree on that point" #EduGladiators
#EduGladiators A1b My experience in the 60s & ‘70s was a Ts know best and to accept their input as gospel and go with it. As I parent the watershed event was learning at #EdCampWestTexas that it’s ok for a parent to question, research and push back on Ts.
A3: Ask Restorative questions and use I statements to attempt to turn the meeting around while showing your understanding of their concerns #edugladiators
The word "partnership" is key and even in difficult situations as a former campus admin when I had to send students to alternative education schools for violation of the student code of conduct, parents felt like I invited them into a partnership with the school. #EduGladiators
Kids are watched today -online grading/comments, tracked by cell phone/social media -they need help in this area. We need to make interactions personal and not them vs us. When I do call/email, student told ahead of time- can’t come home to surprise angry parent #EduGladiators
Q3: Restate your purpose of wanting to help your student — excuse yourself (momentarily) — get assistance from your admin — & TRY again! Do not give up on Ss. #edugladiators
Just don’t make the mistake a staff member once made; she tried to compare her dogs to the parents children. That did NOT go well, and I heard about it the next day. #edugladiators#iamtriggered
A3: attempt to refocus to the reasoning are meeting but also consider the possibility that the meeting is unproductive and needs to be rescheduled with other people in the room (administrator, counselor...etc) #EduGladiators
A3) I agree remain calm and try to validate their point of view. However, sometimes it’s okay to say, “I would be glad to help us figure this out when your voice is as calm as mine.” Thoughts? #EduGladiators
This is a good point. I think age of student is important, too. If I taught younger students, I would be more apt to call parents earlier. With teens, I try to work with them more as young adults and give them a chance to solve the problem #EduGladiators
Let me address #elephantintheroom when it comes to discipline & parent convos. Convos might be for minor infractions from Ts who lack effective classroom management practices. I always called as a Ts and made my Ts call home first as a leader & talk to Ps. #EduGladiators
This is great Michele! The focus allows us to change our intent and let that intent give us the right perspective to assess, refine, and align our actions to support student mastery. #EduGladiators
Please note that during my 40 years in education - 26 as a principal - discipline and connecting with school personnel has changed greatly. Family members who enter the school have a different memory of how discipline is going to roll out - from their experiences #EduGladiators
Let them vent, remain calm - if they continue suggest everyone takes a minute to gather themselves. A productive conversation can be emotional, but if it gets to the point of blaming and defensive, you may consider time to gather their thoughts. #EduGladiators
In reply to
@EduGladiators, @heathercalvert, @PaulONeill1972, @D4Griffin3, @BrendanFetters, @mgrosstaylor, @Rdene915, @Maverikedu12, @cskiles80, @SaneeBell, @mccoyderek
A2: I always emailed my families each day! I included a 60-90 second video recapping the day! Because of this my parents knew me and wanted to hear from me as soon as anything was 'off'. Different (good, bad, indifferent) behavior is an indicator of much more!#EduGladiators
A3: Sometimes it’s better to part ways and give them some time to process. It’s important to initiate the conversation at a later time to show that you still care and the goal is still their students success. Unfortunately in some cases you’re on your own! #EDUgladiators
In reply to
@EduGladiators, @heathercalvert, @PaulONeill1972, @D4Griffin3, @BrendanFetters, @mgrosstaylor, @Rdene915, @Maverikedu12, @cskiles80, @SaneeBell, @mccoyderek
A3: Remain calm, don’t take things personally, use my NVCI techniques & strategies, remain focused on maintaining the partnership, listen to understand, and utilize empathy. #EduGladiators
A1) definitely listen, & listen to understand. Stay away from becoming defensive. Once we head down that direction, things can easily fall apart. #EduGladiators
A3: In these moments, it’s important to pause and ensure I’m listening more than I’m speaking. In my listening and in my speaking, communicating with empathy is critical. #EDUgladiators
A3: Tough one. Cursing at me is a convo killer. I'll end it right there and set a future date to talk when calmer heads will prevail (hopefully). But all other things can be handled. I worked in the restaurant biz a while before becoming a T. I can handle criticism #edugladiators
So true! MS is a complex age developmentally. To understand the Ss, we have to understand where they are developmentally. I have become much more patient teaching this age believe it or not! #EduGladiators
A3 Always bring it back to- the good of the kids. What can we do together to move in a positive direction for success? These are some of my thoughts: give examples #EduGladiators
So true! We have to be intentional in our work with teachers on classroom management and make sure new folks have mentors that can help them develop good rapport with Ss and Ps! #edugladiators
But as a teacher you have a lot of experience with kids. I think showing empathy is more important than actually having your own children.
#EduGladiators
In reply to
@KristenDolen, @historycomics, @EduGladiators
A3: Breathe, pray for the right words to say, listen, and once they've calmed down try to find common ground... if we can't find common ground to move forward together, I would reach out to my AP for assistance in moderating the discussion. #EduGladiators
It’s our job as Ts to teach behavior if needed as we teach curriculum. Ts calling home also forced Ts to be reflective on their management & implementation of PBIS. I had and have no problem calling home if I’ve done everything possible to resolve Ss behavior. #EduGladiators
It’s a huge piece. Since I have a unit for my district on one campus, I accept many students from others. Having a partnership early on and cultivating it makes a difference. #edugladiators
Sometimes I will give a "heads up" email or phone call if it concerns academics. Just to let you know, so and so has not turned this in, but has another chance to do it and it will be due on such a such a date. #EduGladiators
A3) At that point, the conversation needs to come to an end. It can be picked up at a later time, but if it gets to that point, it's time to walk away for a while. #EduGladiators
A4: use restorative conversational skills, seek advise from a mentor or admin you can trust on the approach, and be honest with your responses. Build off the parental concerns and address their preconceptions #edugladiators
A2 As a parent, if you even suspect something let me know. I got a positive referral for my 15 yr old . The teacher said he finally started putting in the effort and quickly moved to the top of the class . Would’ve been nice to know he wasn’t trying . #EduGladiators
Listen, empathize, involve them in the solution and remain calm. Let them know you care and you're on the same team (everyone wants the best for their S and child #EduGladiators
What’s “grit”? The term, applied to kids, bothers me. I mean, are we educating/training kids to be resilient adults or raising ‘em to be US Marines? Language matters. I like @TechNinjaTodd way of phrasing, softer, kinder, humanistic #edugladiators
Q3: I have phone conversations w/another colleague in the room. For emails, I CC: my team. If a parent conference is scheduled, the entire team is present. If there has already been a combative situation, I get Admin involved. #EduGladiators
In reply to
@EduGladiators, @heathercalvert, @PaulONeill1972, @D4Griffin3, @BrendanFetters, @mgrosstaylor, @Rdene915, @Maverikedu12, @cskiles80, @SaneeBell, @mccoyderek
A3: You listen. You let them have their say. Then you calmly try to continue the conversation focusing on proactive steps for both you and student. If this doesn't work, it's a good time to bring in a principal. #edugladiators
A3 just try to remember it is almost never about you, but about stressors in their life. Don’t take it personal. It’s always best to have concrete examples/writing folder of work and observable behaviors to head this off. Be prepared. #EduGladiators
A4 Be kind, but also be honest. I've been part of meetings where problems are made to seem less so because ppl are afraid of hurting feelings. Ps leave w/ "why did we have to meet about this?" feeling. Don't waste the time we are given to work together. #edugladiators
A4 Be Open and honest with parents by listening first to have a partnership that is strengthened daily for the student to be successful! #EduGladiators
Which is so important. We often grow into our labels. If you can help a child see their own positives, you can help them grow in that direction.
#EduGladiators
A3: #Edugladiators Take a step back, listen then refocus: “ I hear frustration...” remind them it has to be a team approach for doing something better for their child
Something I’m reflecting on in this #EduGladiators conversation; the book “Troublemakers” by Carla Shalaby. Discipline often centers some of our students and not others.
A3: Stay calm and LISTEN - if someone reacts that way, it’s prob not the 1st time they have been on that end of the convo and they are on the defense. Let them vent and then you can calmly respond with a solution. #EduGladiators
A4. Don't always "hide" behind emails. They can be misinterpreted. Sometimes a phone call can be the best option. To hear a real, caring voice on the other end. Or arrange a conference. #EduGladiators
#EduGladiators you know who the tough kids will be in the first week, call home with a positive message and ask the parent/guardian “what do I need to know about your child for them to be successful?” #buildingrelationships
A3: I remain calm & respectful & restate how much I care for their child & want them to succeed. I remind them we are a partnership. If it continues to escalate I will end the discussion for a later time & request admin be present. #EduGladiators
A3. I ask the parent “if they want to actually address & solve the problem or do they want to vent.” Most of the time they choose to solve the problem. I then allow things to cool & suggest some norms for the 2nd conversation such as mutual respect, etc. #EduGladiators
A3. As @MrKoz31 mentioned, if cursing occurs I calmly, in a soft voice let the person know I will be glad to continue the conversation when they are ready to begin finding a solution to the challenge. #EduGladiators
A3: Also, phone calls and face-to-face is FAR better than email. I find that attitudes are more settled when they are looking at me as a person. #edugladiators
Rightly or not, parents may feel that they're not responsible for their kids when they're at school. That doesn't mean they don't teach them proper behavior wherever they are, but there are many factors that go into what teachers perceive as problem behavior. #EduGladiators
Let me address #elephantintheroom when it comes to discipline & parent convos. Convos might be for minor infractions from Ts who lack effective classroom management practices. I always called as a Ts and made my Ts call home first as a leader & talk to Ps. #EduGladiators
I agree. Sometimes students (teens) may feel disrespected because they were not heard before a teacher called home. That can negatively affect the student-teacher relationship. #EduGladiators#connections#communication
A3: I deal with difficult situations daily. I think it’s important to know if you’re heading down that path. Talking about a student is emotional. You can’t change a parents mind. It’s important to give facts and leave out opinions. #EduGladiators
A3. Be a listener, but also be prepared to set another meeting if things are not productive. Give everyone an "out" by saying you'd like to take some time to gather your thoughts/further investigate/etc., which also gives everyone time to breathe. #EduGladiators
A4) Be respectful. Be specific (when have you seen this behavior). When I am first speaking of a behavior, I might even ask if the behavior is seen at home as well. Parents could have some great insight! #EduGladiators
A3 A3 If Ps become negative I allow them to vent and actively listen. Then try to help them feel safe. Reassure Ps that we’re on the same side. We both want what’s best for the child.
#EduGladiators
A3). Generally I have said “I am sorry that you feel this way. What can we do together to change this?” It is heartfelt & not a ruse to get them to calm down. Parent have responded positively after a few moments. #EduGladiators
A4) We're all in this together ... you, the parent, the child, other school personnel ... it must be one interconnected support system ... so choreograph the teamness in your conversation ... behave as a team member. #EduGladiators
#edugladiators A2 I’d like a more real-time #edtech mediated(?) conversation with my kids’ Ts. I mean we’re all really busy. Can parents access the LMS (google classroom, canvas, etc) to see how their child is doing?
This is my A3👆🏾Totally ok to call a timeout w/parent & review ground rules of productive convo. Not ok of Ps to cuss, yell etc at Ta or admin. We (all adults) have to model the behavior we expec for Ss. In heated convos sometimes easy to see why Ss is misbehaving.😳#EduGladiators
In reply to
@VictoriaLentfer, @EduGladiators, @heathercalvert, @PaulONeill1972, @D4Griffin3, @BrendanFetters, @Rdene915, @Maverikedu12, @cskiles80, @SaneeBell, @mccoyderek
A4 Be calm, choose your words to communicate carefully. If the parents are volatile have another staff member present. Remember the WHY your student needs support from home and school #EduGladiators
A4: Don’t take it personal! It’s not about you! Parents will do more thing after the meeting is over. Don’t think that you haven’t made an impact just because their is anger or tears. #EduGladiators
A3 (part three, I know, I know...): We need to also support newer teachers in this position. It's a super emotional moment. Sometimes having a principal or veteran teacher serving as mediator can be very helpful #EduGladiators
Q3 I think you have to be prepared and when emotions take over stick to the facts, watch your tone , sympathize and suggest thinking about things and meeting up again at a better time.#EduGladiators
Yes, I ran into that often. Times have changed drastically and families need our sincere guidance in helping them see how discipline rolls out in schools now. #EduGladiators
When was the last time you as a teacher, as a school, or a district asked the question what am I/what are we good at? Too often we look at what needs to be improved, which is important w/o celebrating our accomplishments
#masterychat#bekindEDU#fitleaders#EduGladiators#LivePD
Thank you to everyone who joined us the last 30 minutes for a great kick off to 2019. Enjoy the rest of your day, recharge, reenergize, and get ready to help out Ss and Ps succeed! #EduGladiators
A3. Breathe. Amd again. Do not let it become personal. Stay calm, listen, repeat what they said so they know your listening. If it becomes abusive, shut it down. #EduGladiators
A4: Always show that you care for the S & truly want to help them improve so that they can be successful in school. Also, be empathic that it may be hard for the P to hear about misbehaviors or low academics & allow time to process. #EduGladiators
A4. Remember why you are an educator. We always seek first to understand with our kiddos- do the same when having a convo with their parents. #EduGladiators
A3 I have a super power - I'm severely hearing impaired so on the phone when Ps get angry, I explain that I can't hear well, so they have to slow down & enunciate. The tone changes - it's hard to lose control when you're speaking slowly.
#EduGladiators
A4) Always start by making it clear that you care about their child, their child is amazing, and that you desire to help the student be their best. #EduGladiators
A1- Contact parents early with good news. Try to reach out and build relationships before there are problems. When there are issues, stick with the facts, and talk to the Ps abt solutions. @EduGladiators#edugladiators
Hey #EduGladiators hope you will join the #champforkids family this Tuesday as @hayes_melisa takes us into the ring to chat about connecting globally! See you there! 🥊🥊❤️🥊🥊
A4) Do not have conversations about behavior without building a relationship with the family. Talk with families before day one about what their child likes, things they see etc. Let families know you care about their child & the family. #EduGladiators
A4) Have #empathy. I have yet to meet a parent that wants their child to be labeled as the “bad child” in the community. Children are not bad. They are learning and growing through their mistakes with guidance from home and school. #EduGladiators
A4 Be honest but compassionate. I’m a mom too and know how I’d like someone to approach me. Let them know what you tried before calling home. Ask for their suggestions. #EduGladiators
A4: Treat others how you would like to be treated. ~ If this were your child you’re talking about, how would you want (expect) the conversation to sound? Look for the +’s. Also, remember that it’s the behavior not the child. And always focus on relationships. #EduGladiators
Thank you to everyone who joined us the last 30 minutes for a great kick off to 2019. Enjoy the rest of your day, recharge, reenergize, and get ready to help out Ss and Ps succeed! #EduGladiators
I’ve had to use that before #EDUgladiators unfortunately, when one has an misinformed parent, it could lead to issues. It’s mostly social media/cell phones that are the problems. Students contact home with their side of the story before an investigation can be completed.
A4 Ps want the best for their child. If the child has had numerous behavior issues Ps may be feeling frightened or worried. This can come across as defensiveness or anger. Rather than reacting, try to help them feel safe & understood.
#EduGladiators
1. Be direct w/o being harsh.
2. Seek background info from family. Home, too? Why?
3. Offer partnership. Home + school + on same page = effective change.
4. Come with possible solutions, timelines, and goals. Modify based on convo.
5. Follow up. Set that date.
#edugladiators
A4. Establish a relationship/communication channel with patents b4 an issue occurs. The 1st time a parent hears from a teacher shouldn’t be for a discipline issue. Call /send out letters to all parents @ the beginning of the yr. the relationship is key!#EduGladiators
A4: Allow time for you to calm down. Write down your bullet points. Stick with the facts. If it's a situation where you think you may need backup, invite an administrator to feel more supported. #EduGladiators
Q4: Hang in there — document everything — & always keep your supervisor(s) in the conversation. “If students are unresponsive, maybe you can't teach them yet, but you can love them. And if you love them today, maybe you can teach them tomorrow.” — Jeffrey Holland #edugladiators
Take a moment and point out the strengths/skills their child has and explain your role as an educator which is to support their child and to assist them in their learning journey #EduGladiators#connections#teaching#communication
Well, the difference is that we have 100’s of students to advocate for, parents have 1 or 2. Legally, we need to advocate for ALL students, regardless of who’s right or wrong. Our job is to protect them or at least try to minimize damage, and teach #edugladiators
A4 Be proactive! Start connections and relationships from day one. Encouraging them to reach out and letting them know you will be as well. Don't wait for a problem before you start communication.
Can you make a list of these pieces of advise for newbies, please.
#EduGladiators
A4-Try to remember that you and the parent are a team. Be positive about the child and let the parent be aware that it is the actions and not the child that needs to change. #EduGladiators
Shut up & LISTEN. They need to vent. It's Rule #1 in Customer Serice. When we make these calls, we ARE making a customer service call.
Once they are done, repeat calmly the key (calm) concerns you heard. Take notes while they vent, btw.
Now, move forward.
#edugladiators
If you love student-driven learning, join me for #LATICchat on Thursday nights ... starting up Jan 10th at 8pmET. Let's help students build the skills, attitudes, and behaviors they need to Change the World! #EduGladiators
Thank you so much @heathercalvert for a great start to the 2019 #EduGladiators chat. Couldn’t keep up with the conversation, really looking forward to reading through the chat start to finish today!!
Q3 Sometimes this comes as a surprise, but many times you already know when parents are going to be defensive. I have a conflict resolution agenda with norms we respect presented before the meeting starts. If not, the meeting is postponed and we start again. #EduGladiators
#edugladiators A4 remain professional at all times, have all of the facts, have some talking points in front of you in case the conversation gets off track, have the school policy handy for reference, be consistent with consequences and above all, be empathetic!
Great chat! Lots of great people to follow! Thanks for a great discussion! Let’s keep in touch so we can help each other through situations as this can be stressful for some of us! Keep fighting the good fight! #edugladiators#leadLAP#LeadUpChat
A4: Be patient and kind #EduGladiators If it is a serious problem parents know about it already and are struggling at home too. Try to work as a team to solve otherwise it will go know where
Very true Jeremy. As educators we have to sharpen the tools in our tool belt on classroom management because when kids are at school it’s our job to teach them...even behavior if needed. What we can’t do as Ts is avoid discipline convos & place blame solely on Ps. #EduGladiators
As a former lead admin for discipline for over 1,300 students, stating the facts and what the student code of conduct said worked for me. Start with the facts and code first and then discuss whether the violation is a discretionary or mandatory violation. #EduGladiators
So true! When we have team meetings and a student of concern is brought up, first thing my admin asks is "Who has already had contact w/ parent or family?" #EduGladiators
In reply to
@Dsoares_MiddHS, @LuluBunn, @EduGladiators
Agreed. Makes me sad that this is required. Ts that I associate with are focused on doing their best for Ss. I print hard copies of emails & keep them in Ss files. #EduGladiators
In reply to
@Dsoares_MiddHS, @EduGladiators, @heathercalvert, @PaulONeill1972, @D4Griffin3, @BrendanFetters, @mgrosstaylor, @Rdene915, @Maverikedu12, @cskiles80, @SaneeBell, @mccoyderek
A 4. If it’s a progressive or serious issue make sure you have notes in case you need them. Breathe. Do not take anything personal and put yourself in their shoes. Oftentimes you can redirect the tone. Make sure you let them know you care. #EduGladiators
Exactly! If we don’t feel@comfortable calling home as Ts maybe we need to rethink our approach on how we handled a particular situation. #EduGladiators
Getting to know passionate people who are willing to roll up their sleeves and get things done sparks me. With the right people, one thing leads to another.#edugladiators
Def of grit - "courage and resolve; strength of character" Works for me. Resiliency is good too, but when we discuss grit in class we define it personally and for each other.
#EduGladiators
As a principal, I would ALWAYS include classroom management PD/best practices in my weekly newsletter to staff, parent communication,faculty meetings, and PLCs. My veteran Ts appreacited new ideas to address Ss more appropriately as much as my new Ts. #EduGladiators
It was very powerful brother @D4Griffin3. The mom told me that when she saw the phone number on the Caller ID she almost decided to not answer the phone because of what she thought would come next during the call. #EduGladiators
In reply to
@D4Griffin3, @TracyMailloux, @D4Griffin3
Excellent chat! As a former behavior adjustment teacher, I can really relate to the topic. I wish I had Twitter when I started teaching! What a resource to connect with a diverse group of perspectives. Go! #EduGladiators
I agree! I think it’s essential that teachers communicate before I get involved. Likewise, when parents call to speak or meet with me, I always ask first if they have discussed the issue with the teacher. #EduGladiators
Let me address #elephantintheroom when it comes to discipline & parent convos. Convos might be for minor infractions from Ts who lack effective classroom management practices. I always called as a Ts and made my Ts call home first as a leader & talk to Ps. #EduGladiators
I agree, it’s a good way to cover yourself and track communication to compare with other Ts as well to see how their communication is going regarding the same student(s). #edugladiators
In reply to
@HistoryKimma, @EduGladiators, @heathercalvert, @PaulONeill1972, @D4Griffin3, @BrendanFetters, @mgrosstaylor, @Rdene915, @Maverikedu12, @cskiles80, @SaneeBell, @mccoyderek
I'm with you but I do hesitate on behavior as a "choice." These are still children, and with all those other factors involved, we are and act as natural responses to our environment. Kids don't choose whether they fit in to the environment they're put in. #EduGladiators
What's your one word for 2019? How are you planning to carry your goals forward to impact the greater learning community? Join #EDpiper on Monday, Jan 7 at 9PM CST to chat w us about How to Let Your Light Shine in 2019! #SATchat#LeadUpChat#SaturdayMorning#EDUgladiators
You're on point @3_DLeadership! It may not seem like much to some, but it's not often that people get an invitation to something where they feel like they're getting something out of it vs. always giving with nothing in return. A genuine invitation affirms. #EduGladiators
In reply to
@3_DLeadership, @VictoriaLentfer, @3_DLeadership
#LATIC is learning through #PBL; Ss being empowered to decide how, when, with whom, and where they learn; Ts as facilitators; all moving students up the levels of life skills to be efficacious people who have the ability to lead others. #LATICchat 8pmET on Thurs #EduGladiators
