Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT is a weekly chat on Twitter that takes place on Thursdays at 8 p.m. ET/7 p.m. CT and 5 p.m. PT in the U.S. For one hour, parents, educators, advocates and experts in the field of gifted and talented gather to share resources, links, authentic life experiences and insights about gifted issues.
Welcome to Global Gifted and Talented Chat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted & Talented @TXGifted#TAGT ~ Thanks for joining us to chat about “Self-Care for Parents of GT/2E Kids” #gtchat
I’m Lisa Conrad ~ moderator, advocate for gifted children, conference presenter, blogger and parent of 2 gifted adults from Pittsburgh, PA. Please take a minute to let us know who you are and from where you’re tweeting! #gtchat
Jen in N IL. Mom to 2 boys, 1 is def. 2e, the other is a solid maybe. Flutist/teacher/writer/advocate/juggler of flaming chainsaws. Thrilled to be here! :) #gtchat
Hi everyone! Justine from Auckland, New Zealand here. PhD candidate researching gifted ed. Former primary teacher. Dipping in and out today but looking forward to sharing learning. #gtchat
I’m Lisa Conrad ~ moderator, advocate for gifted children, conference presenter, blogger and parent of 2 gifted adults from Pittsburgh, PA. Please take a minute to let us know who you are and from where you’re tweeting! #gtchat
Hi everyone! Justine from Auckland, New Zealand here. PhD candidate researching gifted ed. Former primary teacher. Dipping in and out today but looking forward to sharing learning. #gtchat
Hi all.Kevin here a recently retired Teaching Principal with Irelands first and only Primary School.Spent the last five Summers in Australia with our daughter #GTchat
Are you new to Twitter chats? We use the Q1) / A1) format for #gtchat … Please remember to use the #gtchat hashtag to participate in the conversation. This will make sure that other chat participants see your tweets.
Lurking to learn? Please say ‘hi’ and then view a livestream from Participate Learning at https://t.co/1zR97oWQw0 Enjoy the chat! All the resources and a summary of this chat will be posted later on our blog at https://t.co/BXpCBWEY56#gtchat
Hi all.Kevin here a recently retired Teaching Principal with Irelands first and only Primary School.Spent the last five Summers in Australia with our daughter #GTchat
Good evening, all. I'll be here for as much of the chat as I can manage. I'm Jeff Farley, advocate for marginalized students of all kinds, parent of two #gifted kids and two #2ekids, and advisor to #gtchat. I am tweeting from Gurnee, Illinois this evening.
Our first question is coming up; let’s get ready to chat! Please preface your responses with A1) Excited to collaborate and share ideas with you today about self-care for parents of GT/2E kids! #gtchat
A1) They are mind-bendingly asynchronous. NT kids are reasonably predictable, G2e is exactly the opposite. Their needs and reactions can change on a dime with no warning. I call it parental whiplash. On top of all that, they’re unicorns; few believe they even exist. #gtchat
Good evening, all. I'll be here for as much of the chat as I can manage. I'm Jeff Farley, advocate for marginalized students of all kinds, parent of two #gifted kids and two #2ekids, and advisor to #gtchat. I am tweeting from Gurnee, Illinois this evening.
A1) Gifted AND learning challenges? Pfft...can’t happen. So now parents, who are already exhausted by their kids, now have to educate/advocate/fight for the academic (& social-emotional) interventions the kids desperately need. #gtchat
My name is Christy. I am a GT Specialist at the OK State Dept of Ed. I work for the #OKYoungScholars project- working to improve GT for under rep populations. I am also a mom of a GT student #gtchat
A1) Social expectations are problematic because our kids don’t fit. We have to grieve unmet expectations we didn’t realize we had absorbed from the culture. #gtchat
A1) Parents of GT/2E kids constantly face a barrage of misinformation about their children from friends, family and those responsible for making decisions about their child’s education. #gtchat#2ekids
My name is Christy. I am a GT Specialist at the OK State Dept of Ed. I work for the #OKYoungScholars project- working to improve GT for under rep populations. I am also a mom of a GT student #gtchat
A1) Parents who have developed ways of coping with their own gifted/2e-ness often have their childhood traumas brought to the surface when their kids struggle. #gtchat
A1) identification of GT/2E students is extremely important and resources need to be more available also what works for one student may not work for another extreme differentiation #gtchat
A1) Our kids often have sensory issues that can be quite extreme and may not make sense to others. Unfortunately, a lot of teacher prep programs do little or nothing to prepare teachers for having our #2ekids in their classrooms. That, then, becomes a challenge for US. #gtchat
A1) Fighting the idea that being gifted is a “gift” and making sure to advocate for my child’s needs when many educators think “she will be fine.” #onceguiltyofthat#gtchat
A1) G/2E kids can be many ages simultaneously - so parents are have to deal with adult thinking and concerns, age appropriate actions and toddler type tantrums in rapid succession and some do not have an off switch! #gtchat
A1. I think some challenges for parents include (I am not a parent to a gifted child) learning about what it means to be gifted, how to help and understand the gifted child and where to turn to for resources. Support! #gtchat
A1) G/2E kids can be many ages simultaneously - so parents are have to deal with adult thinking and concerns, age appropriate actions and toddler type tantrums in rapid succession and some do not have an off switch! #gtchat
Other A1) Schools frequently only want to talk about servicing our #2ekids in terms of mitigating their DISability. Rarely will they deign to even recognize their ABILITIES. #gtchat
A2) Mainstream self-care is often focused on getting away from the kids. With challenging kids, this may not be possible. You may not be able to “just get a babysitter”. #gtchat
A2) Whereas self-care seems to focus solely on the individual/adult; GT/2E parents must weigh the needs of their children with their own needs. #gtchat
A2) Parents of GT/2e kids don’t get breaks. White knuckling through the vacation week to get to the calm when the kids go back to school isn’t possible. #gtchat
A2) Mainstream self-care is often focused on getting away from the kids. With challenging kids, this may not be possible. You may not be able to “just get a babysitter”. #gtchat
A2) Whereas self-care seems to focus solely on the individual/adult; GT/2E parents must weigh the needs of their children with their own needs. #gtchat
A2) I was a mainstream parent looking before I was the parent of our two #2ekids. I would wager to say that most parents have difficulties when it comes to self-care, but those difficulties increase exponentially when it is impossible to hire a babysitter, for example. #gtchat
A2) Gifted/2e parents need lots of self-compassion. Their kids are more challenging than most, so the parents are likely to “fail” to meet many of their own parenting expectations. #gtchat
A2) I think parenting and kid is draining, but with my fifties, it’s like I have teens, school agers, and toddlers all in each kid...I need to take time for me but I CANNOT break routine or we all pay for it. #gtchat
A2) Radical self-forgiveness as well. We’re doing the best we can with what we got at any given moment. Hindsight is 20/20 through rose-colored glasses. Don’t beat yourself up; I have to remind myself of this daily. #gtchat
A2) Mainstream self-care devotes strategies targeting the ‘self’ with little recognition that care for others may actually impact care of oneself. #gtchat
A2) Our expectations of parenting are guided and shaped by the outside world and until we acknowledge that and move past it (ie, tell it to bugger off) we’re making it much harder for ourselves. #gtchat
A2) Mainstream self-care devotes strategies targeting the ‘self’ with little recognition that care for others may actually impact care of oneself. #gtchat
A2) Parenting 2e kids is full of microtraumas. Self-care has to reduce the impact of those traumas before people can relax enough to enjoy the kind of pampering mainstream self-care focuses on. #gtchat
A2) I was a mainstream parent long before I was the parent of our two #2ekids. I would wager to say that most parents have difficulties when it comes to self-care, but those difficulties increase exponentially when it is impossible to hire a babysitter, for example. #gtchat
A2) If your brain is running on overdrive, you might need to listen to complex music, read philosophy, or do a difficult crossword puzzle to relax. #gtchat
Indeed. Not being able to tell the difference between parenting challenges and the challenges of parenting a particularly challenging kid can be hard if you have nothing to compare it to. #gtchat
A2) I was a mainstream parent long before I was the parent of our two #2ekids. I would wager to say that most parents have difficulties when it comes to self-care, but those difficulties increase exponentially when it is impossible to hire a babysitter, for example. #gtchat
A3) Use the #BestThingsToday hashtag to post the 3 best things about your day on social media. Even when it’s hard to find the silver lining, find something; I’m sure you didn’t run down the street naked and screaming...that’s something! #gtchat
A3) Remember that YOU are the expert on your kid. Every 2e kid is unique and so-called experts know statistics and averages, probably not this kid. When you are given advice, take what works for your family and throw away the rest. #gtchat
Yes. This. For us, self care is simply coming up for air. Something that many parents are able to take for granted. They get to SWIM on Saturday night. We get to breathe. #gtchat
A3) Parents of GT/2E kids should listen to the ‘little voice inside their heads’ when they notice a change in their own mood or behavior; seek help sooner rather than later. #gtchat
A3) Make a list of the things that make you feel relaxed, happy, or joyful. Post it where you can see it and pick one thing when you have a few moments. #gtchat
A3) Music playlists (music to scream to, music to cry to, music to calm, music for “suck it up buttercup”). Photo collections to remind you of the good times. Pinterest board of “PLACES I WANT TO RUN AWAY TO.” #gtchat
A2) In usual circumstances ensuring others are cared for first contributes to your own happiness and allows time for guilt free self care but G/2E kids needs seem to be more continuous/intense #gtchat
We are already half way through our chat! Thank you for sharing so many inspiring thoughts about self-care for parents of GT/2E kids! Please remember to use the #gtchat hashtag to participate in the conversation. #gtchat
A3) Other good mantras: “Wasn’t eaten by lions today,” Wine is a thing and thank god for that,” “Someday I might actually miss this!” (Bwahahahahaaa….not likely) #gtchat
We looked for support in our area, but for more reasons I won't get into, there wasn't really anywhere to turn. We are in the process of moving to a place where there will be, and I. Can't. Wait. #gtchat
A2) In usual circumstances ensuring others are cared for first contributes to your own happiness and allows time for guilt free self care but G/2E kids needs seem to be more continuous/intense #gtchat
A3) Have something in the house that is JUST FOR YOU. For me, it’s fancy olives; my men do not like, I love them, and having a small tub of them in the house from time to time makes me happy. #gtchat
A3) Put sleep, food, and exercise for yourself on your priority list. You may not get to them, but they need to be on the list. Don’t ask yourself to be at your best when you are tired or hungry. #gtchat
A3) Be brave & honest about sharing your struggles. Parents who hide their struggles don’t find each other. “If you decide to confide in others, you’ll discover you’re not alone.” (<- One of my fave quotes) #gtchat
A3) Proactive self-care may involve being cognizant of one’s diet, engaging relaxation techniques, and increasing physical activity. It’s easy to convince yourself that you’re just too exhausted to have a healthy lifestyle. #gtchat
A3) Work self-care into the "team" dynamic whether you're raising #2ekids with your spouse, your parents, whomever. You approach things as a team already. Just make sure that giving one another a break is part of that routine. #gtchat
A4) Remind yourself that their behaviour does not mean you are not a bad parent. Don’t take it personally. Remove yourself emotionally from the situation, as best you can. #gtchat
A3) I think making sure everyone’s basic needs are met through routines and structure. When I have my stuff together peaceful living is much more likely. #gtchat
A4) Step away. Lock yourself in the bathroom for long enough to regroup. The exhaust fan isn’t just for teen boy stink; it’s a great white noise as well. #gtchat
A4) Mindfulness is important. As well as consistency, remaining calm and remembering these children are your babies and you love them more than anything! #gtchat
A3) Put sleep, food, and exercise for yourself on your priority list. You may not get to them, but they need to be on the list. Don’t ask yourself to be at your best when you are tired or hungry. #gtchat
A4) Exhale. Force all the air out and let the body inhale spontaneously.This is far more relaxing than focusing on a deep inhalation. Your lungs WANT to inhale, doing this creates the internal pressure for your lungs to inhale deeply. #gtchat
A4) it’s a struggle for real. I have to remind myself often that they are kids and I am an adult. I shouldn’t expect them to control big emotions like a grownup (although that would be so nice for a change!) #gtchat
A6) I tell my flute students to do a “backwards OH” breath. Imagine you’re saying OH backwards. That removes any strain in your throat and allows you to take in a full, relaxed breath to the bottom of your lungs. #gtchat
A4) Notice your physical body and the data from your senses. Being mindful of your experience in your body will help you be less reactive to their behavior. Breathe into any tension and imagine the breath carrying it away. #gtchat
A4) Parenting any kid is not an easy job & most of the manuals are out-of-date by the time your child is born. GT/2E kids take extra effort and know-how. Education is the best solution … learn about self-care. #gtchat
A4) Self-regulation must be anticipated in times of crisis & prepared for through learning to recognize a crisis situation & practice what to do ahead of time. Furthermore, model cooperation & attentive behavior for your child. #gtchat
One 2many teachers hav shared that they r loaded up with full blown ADHD students along with 2E’s, so they r trying 2 coordinate learning for three specific groups. How r they supposed to giv any group their just due? Our state & local leadership seems oblivious to the problem.
Yes. Lists of things that work posted around the house that you see as reminders when things are going well can help you access the resources when things are rough. #gtchat
A4) Self-regulation must be anticipated in times of crisis & prepared for through learning to recognize a crisis situation & practice what to do ahead of time. Furthermore, model cooperation & attentive behavior for your child. #gtchat
A5) Can you safely step away? Outside? Our brains recognize doorways as separators of thoughts as well as rooms. Go to a different room, outside, someplace with different (calmer) energy to recover. #gtchat
A5) If you stay in your head, you will likely focus on why things happened, what went wrong, what needs to be different next time. This keeps stress hormones flowing in your body. #gtchat
A5) 90 second rule of emotions from @drjbt - Ride them out for 90 seconds and they will pass if you don’t reinforce them. (source https://t.co/PjpqFxT1Fl) #gtchat
A5) If you are crashing after an adrenaline rush, you NEED to rest until the body stabilizes. But, your mind craves the adrenaline and will fight rest. Take the pause. Things will go better after it. #gtchat
A5) Cognitively, try to gain some perspective or see some humor in the situation. How much will this matter in a year? Ten years? How is it ridiculous right now? Are you REALLY gonna end up living in a box behind Aldi? #gtchat
A5) I don’t think so. I think often we like to prrletend it’s true but true emotional recovery takes time. I try to give my kids time to process after a meltdown. Lord knows I need it too. #gtchat
A5) Stress releases cortisol, which takes a toll on the body and puts the body into panic mode. Full exhalations help stop the release of cortisol. #gtchat
A5) Adrenaline is energy. Find a way to use excess adrenaline once the crisis is over. Shake your hands out. Push hard against a wall. Exercise. Dance. Jumping jacks. #gtchat
We teach belly breathing but my daughter will refuse to do it if she’s really keyed up because she knows it will calm her down and she never wants to let go first! 😂 #gtchat
A5) I don’t think so. I think often we like to prrletend it’s true but true emotional recovery takes time. I try to give my kids time to process after a meltdown. Lord knows I need it too. #gtchat
Don't react or force compliance. It WILL backfire. Offer time for kids to "resign with dignity." Pick your battles. GT kids need more time to blow off steam.
Mindfulness Meditations for Kids by Beth Kurland https://t.co/kwmkBUWGr9 are great 5 minute guided meditations I use in my 3rd grade classroom! #gtchat
Don't react or force compliance. It WILL backfire. Offer time for kids to "resign with dignity." Pick your battles. GT kids need more time to blow off steam.
YES! We teach parents to self-sooth in front of their kids when possible and model it in the moment. It is powerful teaching AND helps in the moment. #gtchat
We say all the time if we could just harness her powers for good then she’d rule the world one day. As is I’m also afraid she’ll rule the world one day. 😂 🤭
A6) Friends who really understand, other parents of G/2E kids, parent support groups, psychologists, teachers who really understand, education consultants who really understand #gtchat
A6) honestly I find a lot of autism support groups have ideas that work for us too. My kiddos don’t have autism but their resistance to changes, stubborn wills, and insistence on negotiating EVERYTHING are shared traits. #gtchat
A6) Our guests, Kate @Kate_Arms and Jen @laughingatchaos offer parenting classes specifically concerning these issues. Follow them on Twitter for more information! #gtchat
A6) Parents should join @OAGCGifted and connect with other families. Belonging to such an inspirational organization can provide families with a community/bonds/ life long connections! A large support system! #gtchat
A6) Our guests, Kate @Kate_Arms and Jen @laughingatchaos offer parenting classes specifically concerning these issues. Follow them on Twitter for more information! #gtchat
Our next chat will be on Thursday September 20th at 8E/7C/6M/5P US and Friday 21st September at Noon NZST/10 AM AEST/1AM UK. Our topic will be “The Highly Distracted Gifted Child” #gtchat
Thanks @gtchatmod for inviting us. This topic is so crucial. Parents are in the trenches with these amazing kids. Spreading the word on how to help them as they help their kids is a privilege. #gtchat
