#RuralEdChat Archive
#RuralEdChat is a chat that focuses on the needs of the rural educator. This chat has been revised by Tammy Neil (@MathNeil), John Martin (@edventures) and Natalee Stotz (@nataleestotz).
Tuesday August 23, 2016
Hi Jim! We are too! I'm Robin, one of the co-moderators tonight. We'll get rolling in just a min for
Tonight is our final for Better Conversations by . We are so happy that Jim could join us.
Hi Jim! We're excited you can join us! I'm Natalee, another of the co-moderators.
I'm Tammy from North Florida. I teach Computer Science for grades 6-12. So excited to be here.
We welcome anyone to this chat whether you’ve read the book or not!
I loved Building Better Conversations, can I jump in to learn more too?
Kris from Southwest Florida
YES! Welcome to , Kathy. :)
Of course, All are welcome. https://t.co/XBrNBkPfNF
I loved Building Better Conversations, can I jump in to learn more too?
Hi Kris! We are glad you are joining us for
. Welcome, Kris! So glad to see you here.
I'm Jody from Quebec. I'm a coach for ICT integration. Have not finished Better Conversations, but looking forward to a great
I'm sure you're definitely welcome
Great to see you again, Jody. Looking forward to the conversation tonight.
Hi Robin. I'm glad I could make it to this one!
Bill from Western Massachusetts.
(I know, I know, our state is tiny. Please indulge me anyway!)
I'm Jim, living in Kansas, but from Canada. I study coaching and communication.
Here are some other places to chat w/our community. We look forward to some Facebook Live events soon. https://t.co/glE7DWW1Ai
I'm Natalee from Maine. I reach HS Humanities.
Bill! You know you are always welcome!
We have some great folks from both Canada and Kansas who join us here.
Jody, I'm glad you made it, too.
always and forever, Bill! wouldn't be the same without you. :)
We’d like to begin by asking some questions about his work with this book.
Looks like a great topic, jumping in! Jeff from IL
Welcome, Jeff. Glad you are here for
Oh, I just meant it might seem silly to, say, a Montanan to note "Western" Massachusetts. That's all!
Have you been able to track long term impacts w/folks who have implemented strategies in Better Conversations?
Glad to have you joining us.
Our research focussed on people trying out the habits and sending us feedback. We looked 1,000 reflection forms
Did any of the habits emerge as easier for beginner to implement first, or more impactful as a starting point?
When our team of consultants came together, we each, individually, identified trust as must important.
Just reviewing what people sent me, most people felt that they really wanted and needed to work on listening
Listening seemed to be a big theme of the book. https://t.co/ednK5cKdxX
Just reviewing what people sent me, most people felt that they really wanted and needed to work on listening
Listening is an easy one to observe if you are courageous enough to video record your conversations
In prepping for our bookchats, we talked about how important listening is but how hard it is 2 do well! https://t.co/vCeVF43S3d
Just reviewing what people sent me, most people felt that they really wanted and needed to work on listening
Not that there is ever a good time for Tweetdeck to lag, but while trying to co-moderate a chat? Frustrating!
I think we can over think listening. Just not interrupting can be a big improvement for people like me
Are you brave enough to observe your own listening skills? Watch video of yourself in conversation https://t.co/CZJtg97lqQ
Listening is an easy one to observe if you are courageous enough to video record your conversations
Reading this book really has made me more mindful of my habits in areas such as this.
that's a good point. I'm realizing a lot of the affirming can end up interrupting flow of a conversation.
I need to work on not interrupting. Even though I'm aware of this, it gets better of me
What advice would have for people who may not have willing conv. prtnrs in their schools? https://t.co/K1JRqgrzLJ
Listening is an easy one to observe if you are courageous enough to video record your conversations
Well I think you can just open up your laptop and record how you communicate during team meetings
I'm seriously thinking about trying this. We talked about it today. https://t.co/Ddi9hadHwY
Are you brave enough to observe your own listening skills? Watch video of yourself in conversation https://t.co/CZJtg97lqQ
Listening is an easy one to observe if you are courageous enough to video record your conversations
that's awesome! Do you have a team of teachers or a PLC to use it with?
My wife and I talk almost every night about how the day went. Usually we record it just in case we want 2 review it
Great Q Do you consider recorded Google Hangout a working sub, or too much lost when not in same space?
Currently working at policy level,do have a team , proficiency based learning team. There are 4 of us. https://t.co/24mkNBw49N
that's awesome! Do you have a team of teachers or a PLC to use it with?
If you learn from it, go for it.
The final chapters of Better Conversations deal w/ finding common ground, dealing w/toxic conversations & building trust.
Our next Qs to the community will focus on these 3 areas. We’ve also pulled some quotes from Ch. 7-9 to guide our conversation.
We’ll use a Q1 & A1/R1 format for “Quote and Answer/Response” unless conversation gets rolling. Don’t forget 2 tag responses
1 Thing I love about Better Conversations is how it applies all relationships, not just teaching https://t.co/bGQjQpsROp
My wife and I talk almost every night about how the day went. Usually we record it just in case we want 2 review it
Q1: What strategies have you used to build common ground with your colleagues especially when dealing w/differences in ideas?
A1 Often, I'll start by asking clarifying questions, to see more detail/nuance and better understand what my colleagues think.
A1, I'm try to find something someone is passionate about that I am passionate about. Sports, music, food, etc
A1. Once that common bond has been found, it's easier to talk about differences.
That's a great strategy...ties to listening!
A1: If I can't find a topic, I ask about the students we share. If nothing else, we care about the same kids.
Such a great point! Simple and true every single day! https://t.co/cpZpWbnmvw
A1: If I can't find a topic, I ask about the students we share. If nothing else, we care about the same kids.
A1: start out with exploring who colleagues/partners are as people and finding common ground 1st. Emotional deposits
A1 - Working with Ts, start with their goal and why it is good for Ss learning. Can find common ground in Ss learning
Yes! We spend 180+ intense days sharing this work. So important to come build connections to do it better.
Sometimes, we've so much invested in wanting to keep doing what works for us we don't always listen to what else might work.
Shared passion is such strong unifier. important to remember when dealing w/ differences. https://t.co/i7ncqDWk9I
A1, I'm try to find something someone is passionate about that I am passionate about. Sports, music, food, etc
another form of the blinders that can prevent us from seeing possibility in a conversation.
Yes! Need to be willing to consider other perspectives and ideas. https://t.co/8NwXUw4xrX
Sometimes, we've so much invested in wanting to keep doing what works for us we don't always listen to what else might work.
This is true for reach some Ss too - find a shared passion & you have a way forward
shared an article today that reminds me of this re: multipliers vs diminishers in leadership.
Or, the question, "What is the ultimate outcome we're seeking here?" can refocus on purpose.
Bringing folks back to common ground. https://t.co/ybfJ3PXqiB
Or, the question, "What is the ultimate outcome we're seeking here?" can refocus on purpose.
I especially try this w/ Ss that I'm having a hard time connecting/working w/
Q2: How will you handle toxic conversations this year?
This helps keep the end in mind in any conversation eps of emotions are a factor https://t.co/Z7YbaHPzrD
Or, the question, "What is the ultimate outcome we're seeking here?" can refocus on purpose.
A2. I'm trying to be more courageous. I'm trying to speak the truth, but in a compassionate, loving way.
A2 I hope to increase my ability to engage - getting steadily better. Imagining the kids were watching can help motivate.
A2: Let someone else have them!
Seriously, with concern and respect. Listen to what needs to be said.
A2 The truth can be difficult, sometimes. I appreciate compassion & empathy. Thank you, https://t.co/RsdfrrhToV
A2. I'm trying to be more courageous. I'm trying to speak the truth, but in a compassionate, loving way.
A2. When we hear racist, sexist, homophobic, hateful stuff, I think we just have to say, that's wrong.
A2: If I expect a toxic conversation, I also write notes before hand. It helps me stay focused and on point.
A2: More courageous, but also more thoughtful- look at what is at root, rather than react quickly.
A2 ... or even taking it as a change to practice engagement so I'm more prepared if one day the kids *are* watching.
One of the reasons we wanted to read Better Conversations. So we could better handle the tough topics. https://t.co/HiJOoviTq1
A2. When we hear racist, sexist, homophobic, hateful stuff, I think we just have to say, that's wrong.
I really dislike confrontation & conflict. Would love to avoid it most of the time! But know I can't. https://t.co/sa0rEKqOCX
A2: Let someone else have them!
Seriously, with concern and respect. Listen to what needs to be said.
A2 When convos turn toxic, listen & consider "Why?" What does other person needs? Then support that need in appropriate ways
A2 It's up 2 all of us 2 humanize learning spaces.Really appreciated how BetterConversations reaches back 2 Freire
Agreed. Different people need different approaches if we're to be effective. Though what others hear matters.
yep.It can really b hard 2 intervene w/o escalating some people.Better Conversations helps us lay good foundation
A2 Cont'd: If need reassurance, or to know own ideas valued, or their autonomy is respected,... feed that first to difuse toxic
My catch phrase this year has been fight back with kindness
Yes! Sometimes just making them feel heard makes a big difference!
Me too. Second book in a row I'm reading (w/"Doing Youth Participatory Action Research") that does.
A2: Courage! Ignoring not an option. With common ground comes truth that dilutes the toxicity of the conversation
Q3: How have you & your colleagues worked to establish trust in your learning environments?
Similarly, "Meet them with kindness." was the catch phrase of a former Head of School and now friend.
A3 I think we've worked consciously on hearing people out and avoiding assumptions, and that has helped a great deal.
A3: We set Norms that we try to follow. Not always successful but we try.
(Well, avoiding assumptions other than "Assume good intentions.")
Norm-setting can often get skipped but it's essential. Gives place to return to when things are difficult.
A3. Personally, I'm working on being more reliable--and I still have plenty of room for growth
Me, too. Lots of room for growth. https://t.co/jcEe9fo68i
A3. Personally, I'm working on being more reliable--and I still have plenty of room for growth
Trust builds over time by honoring commitments.This quote seems appropriate for back to school season! https://t.co/mVwrBMt7h5
A3: Just be authentic... https://t.co/DoZ1UgafOv
Q3: How have you & your colleagues worked to establish trust in your learning environments?
A3 - In new position, I've spent time in staff rooms of our 3 HSs just having convos with Ts, building relationships & trust
True. For us, I think coming back to school's Mission provides a really useful touchstone.
yes, honouring commitments is key to building trust!
and weighing initiatives against the mission in terms of what's reasonable to accomplish.
I spent a *lot* of time on the Mission Statement with new teachers today. Really great thoughts.
A3: Making ourselves available for open and honest conversations.
Q3: honest dialogue within our learning community. Vid coaching, shared vision of learning, S cent conversation, much❤️
it's so hard not to get on agreement wagon for everything,esp if trying to develop relationships but important!
I think that's a really valuable conversation to have w/new edus in a space. Often it's overlooked!
As comes to a close, I'd like to thank for joining us and for Better Conversations.
