"Welcome to EdTechAfterDark! Our community was born out of discussions for a rich EdChat type gathering for those of us who are thinking about the digital edu-landscape long after the sun has gone down. For us night owls, when the clock strikes 10PM EST, you’ll find us on Twitter over at #edtechafterdark. All are welcome! Our discussions range from our philosophies about EdTech, digital best practices, and simply sharing our stories." --www.edtechafterdark.com
Welcome to #EdTechAfterDark I'll be your host tonight. If you're a regular you may notice I've been running with a theme the past few months, Empathy, and we'll continue with that tonight! Jump in with your intro, and tell us your favorite thing to do during Spring Break!
Alex here from Citrus County, FL where I’m an AP @LecantoHigh and 1/3 of the #edtechafterdark bromance. What do I like to do? Discover new music and dance parties w the kids!
Hi everyone! My name is Dagney, and I'm a sophomore in industrial engineering at ISU planning to go into STEM education. I helped build a robot and volunteered for FIRST Tech Challenge during spring break! #edtechafterdark
Good evening #EdTechAfterDark. I’m Teri from Texas, middle school math coach. My fav spring break activity... personally, reading and family, trying new activities like laser tag.
A1 depends on the age. Lower grade we breath and stretch, upper grades know what works for them most of the time, but forgiveness helps #EdTechAfterDark
#edtechafterdark A1: 🤔Trying to remember the last time I had an angry S in my classroom. What could make an S angry? What can a T do to diminish the chances of this occurring?
Hi friends! Sylvia, Academic Coach / ENG Tchr at Title 1 HS in Tampa, FL ... getting excited about #EdCampHCPS ... hoping to see my friends there! #EdTechAfterDark
A1 I remember sitting down ... it helped b/c it’s hard to attack someone who yields physically ... I also have used time out ... if needed, I apologize #EdTechAfterDark
A1: It starts with language. An angry student isn’t to be “dealt with”. I think they are to be understood. Understanding that anger is a secondary emotion of something else at the core is the first step in de-escalation #edtechafterdark
I also had plans for students ... usually started with “Miss, I need 5” ... they could step aside and regroup themselves ... my current sts need coping strategies 😞 #EdTechAfterDark
A1: Did the S come to class angry? Has something set them off in class? Analyze based on relationship. Give them time to cool off. Talk to them privately. #EdTechAfterDark
A1: It all starts with de-escalation. People do not make good decisions when the are angry. More importantly, people are not good listeners when they are angry. Calm the student down and then use the situation as an opportunity to grow #EdTechAfterDark
A1: The first thing I do when I approach and angry student is get on their level and talk to them. My students know that we are gonna talk out a problem and they are going right back in the class.......when THEY are ready to do so. #edtechafterdark
#edtechafterdark A1: Any S can leave my room for any reason without letting me know. If they need a bathroom break, a stand-up and look out the window. No problem.
Working with kids, I’ve always found that lowering yourself just below their eye level helps them feel heard. With little ones, this can be tricky 😂👍 #edtechafterdark
A1 Like to get the Ss on task and pull the student in the hall and either give him the business in love or remind him, you're not giving me your best right now #edtechafterdark
A1:When one of my little ones gets angry I let him/her know it’s OK to feel angry. We then work on breathing and getting to a space to settle down letting him/her know we will help when the intense feelings subside and he/she feels ready to deal with the issue. #edtechafterdark
Absolutely!! There is a reason for the anger and so many of our students have never had someone help them get to the root of the problem. #edtechafterdark
A1 Hey Everyone! @acooktweet introduced my to this chat and I'm hopping in for a while! I work to understand angry students hear them out &, problem solve. Sometimes the anger is frustration over something simple or it is a different solvable issue NOT PERSONAL #edtechafterdark
There is science on the power of breath. When we take a deep breath, it sends messages to our brain to stop, think, calm down. It’s a great strategy. #EdTechAfterDark
A2 I walked through SAO and a parent angry with sec’t ... I stepped in between, smiled, & said “can we speak outside?” He wasn’t angry with me, so he moved back when I stepped forward - gentle movements and nods of understanding #EdTechAfterDark
A1:
1-Get S to a calm place
2-Give S time to calm down (offer processes if they don’t know any)
3-ask if S is ready to talk
4-ask why questions re: anger
5-help S reflect on situation/choices made
6-Let S return to class when ready
Sometimes 1/2 is all needed #EdTechAfterDark
#edtechafterdark A2: I deferred, recommended we speak later. The adult just wanted to vent at me. No follow up. Truthfully, I felt bullied. All of my de-escalation training left me feeling like I didn't advocate for myself and instead got verbally assaulted.
A2 Parent wasn't "angry" but she told me what I was doing in camp wasn't working for her student. We emailed back and forth to design a solution together and I did much better on day 2 😎 #edtechafterdark
LOVE the "Miss I need 5" my daughter's teacher used to let them ask for a "water break" of they needed to cool down. A quick walk to the fountain and back to class did wonders for them! #edtechafterdark
I also had plans for students ... usually started with “Miss, I need 5” ... they could step aside and regroup themselves ... my current sts need coping strategies 😞 #EdTechAfterDark
Been there before ... after that, I became very reflective ... is there anything I needed to own .... I also reported the message to my admin ... #EdTechAfterDark
A1: I listen. I do not speak unless it is to ask a question or to verify information. If they ask a question, I try to respond back with a question. I try and give them space to cool down, however they need to. #edtechafterdark
A2. 1.Awknowlege their feelings
2. Offer apology - even if I'm sorry you feel that way.
3. Offer solution (with compromise when possible)
4 5 6 & 7 ALWAYS keep your cool.
#edtechafterdark
The walk and the water (oxygen) helps calm students! My son’s MS (all boys MS) would give angry boys a bottle of water before they talked with them ... oxygen! #EdTechAfterDark
A2: My expectation is that people will treat each other respectfully even if feelings flare. I will listen to someone who is angry if they keep their body and voice in check. Oftentimes just listening calms the situation. #edtechafterdark
A2: By keeping calm and composed, listening, paraphrasing, and sitting alongside (rather than across from) the person to physically show that I was on the same team. #EdTechAfterDark
A2: Ps fight for their child. We fight for their child. If there is an upset P it is because they do not recognize or understand how we are fighting for their child. It’s important to remember we’re on the same side & converse like allies, not enemies. #EdTechAfterDark
A2:As an AP and head of discipline, this is a fairly regular occurrence. It’s important to validate their feelings. They have the right to be angry. Acknowledging that can douse the flames. It’s not a student’s job to sit and be quiet. It’s not a parent’s either. #edtechafterdark
I was told on gender DI ... a way to calm a female student is to ask “what do you THINK happened?” Think vs feel triggers the rational brain. 😊 #EdTechAfterDark
A2: Keeping yourself humble is important in conversation where anger is present. How important is it you are right (at this exact moment)? #EdTechAfterDark
A2: When speaking to angry parents I try (and I admit this is sometimes hard for me to do) to remain calm and composed and hear them out. I practiced this a couple of weeks ago and the parent and I were able to come@to a solution #edtechafterdark
A2 My FOREVER strategy is to I LISTEN and reassure FIRST. I let them know I hear them and am invested in their kid too. THEN I bring them in as a partner and FINALLY I follow up regularly. They ALWAYS trust me w/their Ss after these convos! #EdTechAfterDark
A2: I try to be as transparent as possible to parents. If I made a mistake, I’d admit it. Acknowledge the feelings. Especially with parents, they are upset because they care about their children, which is a good thing! Find a common ground. Give a little. #edtechafterdark
My mom always offered me a glass of ice water before discussing my upset as a child. I now do the same with my own daughters. Never realized there was an actual scientific benefit! #edtechafterdark
A3: I refuel and find balance on the ocean and hiking. Sometimes the time calls for solitude and reflection and other times it’s great to be with family and friends. #edtechafterdark
A3: my gr level team supports each other daily. We ask if we can help w/ any pressing needs, show support when they need a day to care for selves or loved ones, bring treats to work sporadically, leave notes or text messages of gratitude for each other, etc. #EdTechAfterDark
A3 PD experiences that allow Ts to talk openly and then work collaboratively to create in building structures that would support their practice...And after work Happy Hour of course lol!! #edtechafterdark
A3: Give permission. To cry. To take a break. To relax. In the people business, we too often feel like we don’t have the right to put it aside for a bit. The greatest gift you can give is the allowance to take a load off. #edtechafterdark
A3: sometimes it helps to know that it’s not me. I have a lot more patience when I realize they have a hard time in every class with every Tt, etc. it makes it less personal, and I feel more confident and ready to figure out why when I know it’s not about me. #edtechafterdark
A3 PD experiences that allow Ts to talk openly and then work collaboratively to create in building structures that would support their practice...And after work Happy Hour of course lol!! #edtechafterdark
My coworker offered to watch my class so I could go to my child’s presentation. A S of mine had an angry moment & I stayed to help handle it but missed the presentation. I started crying in the hall & she walked over & hugged me as Ss watched. Powerful example. #edtechafterdark
A4 For me, it’s recognizing the difference between behavior problems and task avoidance issues .. the 1st I need to de-escalate ... the 2nd I have fix my instruction. #EdTechAfterDark
A4: of course! In fact, empathizing is the prerequisite to sharing a moment of happiness or de-escalating an individual that’s angry. Until you’ve shown someone your investment of living from their view, they’re not going to be willing to let you in. #edtechafterdark
A4: I’m not sure if “officially” empathy can apply to feeling happy with another person and because another person is happy but I think this is a huge thing in any relationship. #EdTechAfterDark
Hi, chiming in late after doing kid story time and bedtime.
A4) If empathy is connecting with what another person is experiencing, certainly it can include positive experiences. We just don’t associate that with empathy because it’s pleasurable to share. #EdTechAfterDark
Yes! When a book that tells the story of a student is deemed unacceptable for school, what message does that send the child who sees themselves in the thrown out pages? #edtechafterdark
A5 I once had opposing gang leaders in my class (had no idea until it got bad) ... I had respected them all year so when I asked if I could get a mediator they agreed & assured me nothing would happen in my class 🤓 #EdTechAfterDark
The child in the middle may block parents and teachers from seeing each other. We often assume conflict is from lack of understanding, but can also be about seeing different paths to mutual goals. Parents may understand teachers but see their child first. #ptchat#EdTechAfterDark
A2: Ps fight for their child. We fight for their child. If there is an upset P it is because they do not recognize or understand how we are fighting for their child. It’s important to remember we’re on the same side & converse like allies, not enemies. #EdTechAfterDark
A5: I don’t think empathisizing w/someone’s anger means you stay in a situation where they are not appropriately dealing with their anger. Sometimes to de escalate, you need to be the person who leaves until the other person calms down. #edtechafterdark
A5: It’s hard in the moment as anger distorts reality and makes it very difficult to remain rational, but simply acknowledging that is in and of itself an act of empathy. Knowing that their anger doesn’t have to pass the rationality litmus test is important. #EdTechAfterDark
A5: reflect on the question “what does this person need right now?” To help you both focus on how to solve the problem versus focusing on the problem itself. #EdTechAfterDark
A6 we need to be willing & able to put people first ... we have to be willing to stand up for people without oppressing others in our quest for change ... people are more important than politics and policies ♥️ #EdTechAfterDark
A6: We can take action, listen, march and know that just because it wasn’t our school or our child we are still responsible to see that all people are safe from gun violence, racial discrimination, sexually discrimination and have their civil rights respected. #EdTechAfterDark
A4: I’ve been reading + having a late dinner.
Ss in 1stGr 🍎have a lot of FUN.
When they behave like that -
I 🎯on strategies that initiate and contribute to those feelings so class is fun. #MusicMonday#EdTechAfterDark
A6) Hear everyone out. Acknowledge different perspectives and provide kids the space to take a stand. Respect them and trust their ability to do the same, and demonstrate you’re on their side. (Regardless of particular sides of an issue.) #EdTechAfterDark
A6: in our role as teachers, it is important that we never forget our responsibility to be learners. Learn from those facing oppression, violence, harm. Do not assume you have the answer when you haven’t taken the time to learn the problem. #EdTechAfterDark
I love my buddy @MrLeonard8... not just a friend but a brother. It’s good doing life with you and your fam. Thanks for leading us in a killer chat tonight. #edtechafterdark
A5) Do we empathize with feelings if we’re not feeling them? Or just acknowledge them? If people feel respected there may be nothing to deescalate. #EdTechAfterDark
A6: #EdTechAfterDark
I would focus on the actual class work and not on race relations.
Also I would use popular📚 literature the Ss read if Ts want to focus on it in a FUN 💘and non- threatening way.
📚🎥 #Twilight
🔲Vampires Vs Humans ✅
🔲 RaceRelations ❌
- 😬🍎
Yes! When a book that tells the story of a student is deemed unacceptable for school, what message does that send the child who sees themselves in the thrown out pages? #edtechafterdark
