Our chat will focus on the idea that we can lead and make positive change from any position in our school systems. Leadership is not about a title, it is a way of thinking and acting.
Happy Saturday #LeadLAP tribe!
Today's invitation is to engage authentically in a circle focused on harm & healing. I will provide the rationale for each & suggestions. @paydroh74 will be engaging with you as a guide and facilitator. Thank you for your trust & vulnerability.
Good morning! Pedro from San Diego up in this piece! Hope you are you"re all having a spectacular start to this weekend. My favorite "me time" activity is a nice cup of coffee before anyone gets up and a brisk walk right after. #leadLAP@mreruchie
I'm Shelley Burgess, co-author of #LeadLAP I have a few favorite "me time" activities... reading, walking w/friends, a good massage, and breakfast w/@mreruchie#LeadLAP
Good Morning Crew! Happy to be here on a sunny playoff Saturday! I'm Bobbie the Captain of St Anna School and me time consists of quiet time- reading or scrapbooking! #leadlap
Hey #LeadLAP crew! I’m Greg, an elementary principal from Northern California. My “me time” starts before the sun comes up. I put in my ear buds and take the dog for a walk. Whether it’s a podcast or my playlist, the walk and whatever I’m listening to gets me ready for the day.
Good morning! Brandon from Mechanicsville, VA. My favorite "me time" activity would be waking up early in the morning and reading a good book while enjoying a cup of coffee. Starts the day off on a good note! #LeadLAP
Good morning #LeadLAP crew, middle school AP from KS here. My fave "me time" activities include reading my Bible, watching sports, and relaxing at home.
Good morning! Rena Hawkins, elementary Principal @MapleWarriors and co-host of #ShareMOEdu podcast. On “me time” I enjoy reading, reflecting, and retail therapy😉 #LeadLAP This is the perfect morning/weather for “me time”!
Good morning #leadlap! Nili Bartley from MA and happy to be jumping in this morning-favorite activity I LOVE to throw myself into is Zumba as much as I can:)
Bonnie, principal from upstate NY. My favorite "me" activity is reading. Between professional and pleasure-I read about 60 books a year. Can never read and learn enough! #leadlap
Good morning! Tisha, Tech Integration Specialist in Medford, OR and author #MLmagical. My favorite “me time” activity in Winter is writing or reading in my favorite chair by the fireplace with a latte.❤️📚☕️ #Leadlap
Good Morning #LeadLAP Kristen from Northern California Assistant Principal/Ed Tech Coordinator my favorite me time is the quiet before the house wakes up - writing, reading, thinking
Hi everyone! Monica here. HS math teacher and always looking to learn. Otherwise, I'm driving my kids around, hosting puppies from Guiding Eyes, or knitting. #leadlap
Q1 #LeadLAP
In order to heal, we have to address our pain. This can be done by processing the specific incident. Q1 allows each community member to reflect on harm and share a story.
While restorative practices is not therapy, it can be therapeutic.
A1- ugh that Q hurts my heart- but I saw a S being 'dragged' down the hallway by an angry teacher- who didn't even want to know why the S did what he did.... always more to the story #LeadLAP
Good morning Pirate Leaders! My favorite “me time” activity is putting in the ear buds & walking (sometimes w/ my dog.). Listening to @MichelleObama s new book currently! #LeadLAP
Hey #LeadLAP! Alicia from NC awaiting our first snow of 2019. My favorite ‘me activity’ is a tie between driving while listening to music alone and reading & writing.
Hi, Tara from Kansas! Can’t wait to chat with @mreruchie& @paydroh74 steering the ship!
Fave “me time” would be reading—let’s add “on the beach” to that! Ultimate fave “me time” #leadlap
Currently in Kansas...reading inside near a fire—LOTS of snow!!!
*My backyard😉
A1: I feel like the hardest harm to deal with is not the physical but the mental. When the person takes advantage of their position and brings you down instead of building you up. I've had this happen and seen it happen often. #LeadLAP
In reply to
@mreruchie, @paydroh74, @burgess_shelley, @BethHouf, @TaraMartinEDU, @dbc_inc, @burgessdave
Carrie, MS AP from Perryville, MO. I like to do quiet things: read, write, pedicure, massage. Quiet. My life is full 24/7. I❤ my crazy loud life, but crave times of quiet. #LeadLAP
Tough question right out the gate! A1: I led through a challenging cultural upheaval that was the result of a variety of factors. With distance, I will safely say there were multiple pain points driven by fear and poor leadership decisions. Glad to be past that space. #LeadLAP
Q1 #LeadLAP
In order to heal, we have to address our pain. This can be done by processing the specific incident. Q1 allows each community member to reflect on harm and share a story.
While restorative practices is not therapy, it can be therapeutic.
A1. There have been times when others have said things not true because they go from perception and not seeking to understand. My response is “to focus on what I can control.” #LeadLAP
A1 Unfortunately, I feel like there are times that the school system unintentionally harms those in the system. When this happens, we need to have face to face conversations to address the concerns. #leadlap
A1: When I was in 2nd grade I received corporal punishment for misbehavior. Not fun! I recently wrote a blog post about it #Leadlaphttps://t.co/1A5ry3xaDY
In reply to
@mreruchie, @paydroh74, @burgess_shelley, @BethHouf, @TaraMartinEDU, @dbc_inc, @burgessdave
A1: Speaking for myself I believe that nearly every time I have been “harmed” it was the result of the inability of someone to presume positive intent. My own soft heart causes me to experience harm. #noregrets#seektounderstandfirst#leadlap
A1: as a kid our class was accused of cheating. Each of us was brought in one by one by teachers and told someone accused us of cheating. We all knew what was happening because we talked, and it felt incredibly manipulative. We were in fourth grade. Teachers lied. #leadLAP
A1: Worked in a school district that had a T who made a 5th grader cry in the hallway because the S dropped his/her pencil box on the way to art. #LeadLAP
A1 saw students being contested instead of heard. Sometimes we just need to listen to the students and put our pride aside. We don’t know the entire story. #LeadLAP
A1: When I was in 2nd grade I received corporal punishment for misbehavior. Not fun! I recently wrote a blog post about it #Leadlaphttps://t.co/1A5ry3xaDY
In reply to
@mreruchie, @paydroh74, @burgess_shelley, @BethHouf, @TaraMartinEDU, @dbc_inc, @burgessdave
A1) Hurt when I was not offered the opportunity to teach the new course I developed for my district b/c I was heading out on maternity leave in a few months. Really. This stuff still happens. #leadlap
A1 After a student is removed from a classroom, re-introduction to environment/teacher: the student has time to be reflective and is ready for a conversation and the teacher remains unresolved or angry. #leadLAP#TrustGone
In reply to
@mreruchie, @paydroh74, @burgess_shelley, @BethHouf, @TaraMartinEDU, @dbc_inc, @burgessdave
Rationale Q2 #leadlap
Asking members to reflect & identify impact that harm has had on them/others, allows for acceptance of the incident. This is huge step in healing.
This helps the person harmed, and one who has done harm, to understand emotional & physical impact of harm.
A1 - I think harm can be done unintentionally when someone tries to do a quick fix instead of doing the hard work of stopping to understand and work through the problem and/or behavior. It happens everyday #LeadLAP
A1: I can think of a few students in the past who have been "discarded" because of challenging behaviour when really that was the time they needed the most support. #LeadLAP
A1: This question breaks my heart. I have seen Ss cringe when Ts verbally accost them in front of their peers. Makes me want to go give them BIG hugs! #LeadLAP
Good morning #LeadLAP crew! It's Thomas from NC- Instructional Facilitator. My "me" time is most definitely listening to music- and to read inspirational books!
A 1 This is a difficult question. I have seen and heard a staff member shout at their class. I immediately addressed, however I know I am not always nearby to hear or see. It is NOT the norm where I am, however it can happen. #leadlap
A1: Changing mindsets in staff from punishment focused to proactive, preventative, and supportive to change behavior in a positive way. Reminding myself to stay calm in challenging situations and not take the struggle personally. There is always a bigger reason. #LeadLAP
A2- damaged relationships take a long time to repair (when it's even possible) and it can be difficult being in a school each day with someone you no longer trust or respect #LeadLAP
So much anger. We were never the same and we spent the rest of the year sabotaging those teachers (two of them) and working to make their life hell. #leadlap
A1: So much hurt comes from not taking the time to understand before trying to be understood. Listening and assuming positive intent is so important. #LeadLAP
A1. This one was tough to reflect on. I think there is a lot of harm done between school staff and parents when they dont seek to understand each other. As educators we aspire to understand where families are coming from, but may cause harm without even realizing. #LeadLAP
A1: I’ve seen educators harmed by inefficient, ineffective, or even absent communication. When I reflect on situations, I often feel that they could have been solved with better communication. #LeadLAP
A1 For me, harm typically comes from when people are caught in the moment. Often when emotions are involved or something is personal to the other person, they can say things that they might not mean in a gut reaction. Miscommunication or misunderstanding are the roots. #LeadLAP
A1) Hurt when I was not offered the opportunity to teach the new course I developed for my district b/c I was heading out on maternity leave in a few months. Really. This stuff still happens. #leadlap
A1: Watching teachers and myself be unaware of how important our language is. I was blessed to learn transformational language from @YogaFitInc years ago. "We, Let's and Our" replace demanding, sarcastic and demeaning language. #LeadLAP
A2: It left me feeling defeated and unsure of myself. I felt very lost as to how to help people around me feeling the same. Things that were out of my control that I wanted to fix. #LeadLAP
A1: Sometimes, we as adults forget why we’re doing what we’re doing. That’s when we do and say things with kids that we later regret. I don’t have a solution, other than we have to continually hammer home our expectations for how we want our kids to be treated. #LeadLAP
A1) I feel that harm is ignited the second Ss and educators feel alone or even rejected. Value and support have to be in place so there is a greater chance of helping rather than hurting. #leadlap
Ouch...this is a hard question! A1. I remember a teacher in high school telling me she was unwilling to write me a reference letter for a student competition, and it broke my heart. She implied that I hadn't worked hard enough for it. #leadLAP
A1 Most of the schools I worked in prior to opening my own, used punitive discipline (& often grading as punishment). I never saw a single student improve because of those methods. I did see a lot of pain & low self-esteem.
#leadlap
A1: This question hits very close to home for me. Gratefully, my educator’s heart has healed. Sadly, I have discovered that what happened to me is far too common in education. #LeadLAP
A2: I've watched Ts gang up on another T to have them removed from that specific position. Broke that Ts spirit. After trying to teach in another position, that T never went back into education. #LeadLAP
A1: In the “busyness” of school, I see (and am sometimes a part of) not making the time to truly listen. I’ve seen how damaging it can be when Ss and Ts are ignored and not heard. #LeadLAP
A1 #leadLAP Very true! At my site we make sure that students participate in a mediation circle and spend some time with the Restorative team before the re-introduction process. No one ever wins we a student is sent back to class without resolve.
A1 After a student is removed from a classroom, re-introduction to environment/teacher: the student has time to be reflective and is ready for a conversation and the teacher remains unresolved or angry. #leadLAP#TrustGone
In reply to
@mreruchie, @paydroh74, @burgess_shelley, @BethHouf, @TaraMartinEDU, @dbc_inc, @burgessdave
A2: I stepped on the toes of a veteran teacher by taking over a teachable moment. Instead of allowing the teacher the opportunity to investigate and grow in the situation, I put "the right answer" ahead of true learning. #LeadLAP
A2: When trust is broken, whether between admin & teacher, teacher & teacher, teacher & student, it is hard to get back. The impact it has lasts so much longer than the moment itself. #LeadLAP
A2. This forces you to question yourself and detracts from your work. Important to have supportive family and PLN who can support and encourage. #LeadLAP
I loved the punitive discipline as a kid in a small town. I remember my teacher had a “dots” system when we did something wrong. I made it my mission to collect as many dots as I could. #leadLAP
A1: I once had a student who was consistently labeled by other teachers. His "label" was unsettling. He was labeled as a "troublemaker" and was seen as a "lost hope". #LeadLAP
Q2: These damages in relationships can really add a negative vibe into the workplace. It can set a negative tone and create tension between the parties that are involved. If not discussed between the individuals and resolved soon after, it can lead to long term damage #leadlap
A2: A damaged relationship impacts how we operate daily. Communication, trust, and connection is breached. Damaged relationships can spread negativity like wild fire. #LeadLAP
A 2 I actually was the cause of the relationship harm one of my first years as a leader. It took a lot of repair on my part to build trust. A huge lesson for me how something as simple as a misunderstanding can injure a person and a relationship.
In reply to
@paydroh74, @mreruchie, @burgess_shelley, @burgessdave
It’s a time for reflection, understanding the value of trust, and importance of being able to have meaningful conversations around the harm/hurt that was done. #LeadLAP
In reply to
@paydroh74, @mreruchie, @burgess_shelley, @burgessdave
Q2: My HS daughter welcomes the challenge to be moved into a more advanced ELA class. She has scheduled meetings to request/beg for this. She falls short of testing data criteria. It is frustrating for her. She feels unchallenged and wants a chance to prove herself. #LeadLAP
A2: Had to discipline one of my favorite kids ever this year because of an extremely poor decision, one that led to the student moving to another school. Broke my heart. Doesn’t matter that it wasn’t my fault. 😔 #LeadLAP
A2: These damages in relationships can really add a negative vibe into the workplace. It can set a negative tone and create tension between the parties that are involved. If not discussed between the individuals and resolved soon after, it can lead to long term damage #leadlap
A2: It's hard to trust people when relationships are damaged, which means you are less likely to rely on in the future. It's hard to be your true you. #LeadLAP
Rationale Q3 #leadlap
The discussion of this question can be transformative.
It allows
-members to see that they do have supports.
-the facilitator to guide members to supports they may not have been aware existed.
-the system to identify the need for additional supports.
A2: It impacted me in many ways. I was upset that educators could do that to a child. It ignited a "fire" inside me. I embraced this child. I learned this child. I believed in this child. More attention was on him at times- but it was worth it. #LeadLAP
A2 I think I learned a lot from watching negativity in schools. I made a list of things not to do in my dream school and try hard to stick to it. We learn from both the negative and the positive.
#LeadLAP
A2 I felt used. I was an admin on the negotiations team for the district. The president, vice president, and chief negotiator of the teachers' union was in our school. I was asked how decisions made would effect our school. #leadlap
A2: Relationships are foundational to our culture. At our staff retreat this summer we role played situations when we see someone speaking to others in ways that don't support our core beliefs. It takes courage to speak up but we agree this is nonnegotiable in our school #LeadLAP
Last day to be entered! I know YOU pour so much into your school & classroom, so I want to give back. With proof of purchase of Take the L.E.A.P. Ignite a Culture of Innovation, get entered to win package! -->https://t.co/B8O4uN5AQ1#LEAPeffect#tlap#LeadLAP#innovatorsmindset
It’s so interesting to look through responses and see from perspectives of adults as well as when we were students ourselves. What a profession and a chance to heal (and harm). #LeadLAP
Q2.I tend to go through a wide range of human emotions when there is conflict with a parent. Then I reflect and focus on understanding. It takes long, constant effort with some relationships. With effort, improvement is likely, without effort failure is a given. #leadlap
A1: My child was completely dressed down by admin for something a parent came in and said my child told her child. No investigation. My husband came in & told admin to stop bullying our child. Who screams at a child even in front of a parent? #LeadLAP
A2) I hope these Qs are leading somewhere positive! Being denied teaching a course I developed b/c of my upcoming maternity leave (I didnt get the course back when I returned from maternity) created distrust for my district. #leadlap
A3: Support comes from my mentor, PLN, and trusted friends & family. For students, it’s hard for them to feel the support if they don’t feel there is a trusted adult in their life. I try my best to be that adult for students, their safe haven. #LeadLAP
A2. I've seen Ts "take sides" on an issue and create division among the team. It makes it hard for those who don't want to choose a side, and progress can't be made. Ultimately it leads to a toxic culture. #LeadLAP
A3: There are systems in place to have discussions and follow proper protocol. We also have supports to get away from those damaging relationships without consequences. #LeadLAP
A1: There unfortunately have been many. Accidental bumps by students, putting someone in a headlock, repeatedly calling someone ugly, and more. These student behaviors hurt not only physically but emotionally. And the emotional pain cuts very deep #leadlap
In reply to
@mreruchie, @paydroh74, @burgess_shelley, @BethHouf, @TaraMartinEDU, @dbc_inc, @burgessdave
Yes, behavior systems should extinguish a behavior. If the behavior continues it's not effective! And we shouldn't be fixing, we should be seeking to understand #LeadLAP
A1 Most of the schools I worked in prior to opening my own, used punitive discipline (& often grading as punishment). I never saw a single student improve because of those methods. I did see a lot of pain & low self-esteem.
#leadlap
A2) Personally, I have been asked to cut back from expressing what I'm passionate about. The impact this actually had on me was that I got stronger. #leadlap
A1: In sophomore English, girls who wore skirts got As and those of us who didn’t got Cs (from a male teacher). The school leadership knew about this and had multiple complaints, but the teacher was never told to stop #LeadLap
A3: We tend to put systems of supports in place for students but not from staff. When adults break trust to another adults, it affects the whole building. We have to plan and implement systems for that as well. #LeadLAP
Yes, it's what Ts tend to turn to in times of stress. That's why they need lots of training and a toolbox of strategies to avoid those "go-to" reactions.
#LeadLAP
A2: In regard to my daughter, I believe in her and it hurts to see her not given the opportunity to try. As an educator it makes me question systems where learners know what they are capable of becoming/doing but cannot choose their path. #LeadLAP
A3: I recently attended a training on Crucial Conversations. These skills support healthy dialogue to achieve a mutual goal...be it a relational, content, or behavioral goal with adults or littles. #LeadLAP
A2 Damaged relationships suck. I try to recover them regardless of who is more at fault. Those that remain damaged create unwanted strain and even anxiety. #leadlap
A3: As a leader, I try to build the kind of relationships that makes others on our team feel comfortable coming to me for advice on who to handle tough situations. Coaching others is empowering & builds others as leaders. Reduces hurt by being proactive. #LeadLAP
Because it exists in our society in general. People don't want someone to get a higher salary, for example, because "what about me?" What if we ALL deserved a higher salary? (just as example). #LeadLAP
A3 I always feel a lot of strong support from my school leadership team. It's always great being able to go to them to break down a situation and get advice. They serve as strong mentor figures for me. Also, our positive school culture does create some support. #leadlap
A2: When I reflected on the situation and was really honest with myself, it made me realize that I could do better - that I should’ve said something, done something. #LeadLAP
A3- need more effort into the preventative practices, which is why we are researching RJ so that we don't have to rely on after the fact supports- they are few and far between and not as effective as avoiding the harm in the first place #leadlap
This is so true. I feel when it's peer to peer it is an easier thing to navigate. When it is "boss" to "employee" it is VERY difficult to navigate. #LeadLAP
A3: Every time we have had a crisis, we have found a way, with the people and resources we have at hand, to provide support when and where it is needed. It’s what we do. #LeadLAP
A3: For Ts ganging up on another T/adult bullying, there's not much in place. For Ss experiencing this type of behavior with other Ss, there are some systems in place. For a S bullied by a T? Depends on if believed or witnessed. Depends on if P wants to tackle that T. #LeadLAP
They feel the tension for sure. Plus, the damage to cohesion and collegiality among the adults affect teamwork, planning, and climate, all of which have negative effects on kids. #Leadlap
In reply to
@mreruchie, @paydroh74, @burgess_shelley, @burgessdave
Often times repairing relationships are overlooked because so many operate in schools under the umbrella of compliance and punitive practices. Restoring relationships, building trust takes time and diff mindshift. #LeadLAP#RelationshipsFirst
In reply to
@paydroh74, @mreruchie, @burgess_shelley, @burgessdave
Jay, what about your friends? Colleagues? Family? Pet? Nature? Who/what is there to support you when you are in pain? When we don't feel support from admin or organization, we still need to have our own system. #leadlap
All I wanted was to be listened to and treated like a human. The teacher just wanted me to conform and obey. That’s why Carla Shalaby’s “Troublemakers” spoke to me so much #leadlap
A3: It's unfortunate & unintended, but I often see how our grade books damage relationships with students & families. We need better systems of support in communicating student progress w/out penalizing them or creating a divide. #leadLAP
A4- I ALWAYS listen to what a S has to say no matter how long it takes. I want to know WHY something has happened so that we can respond to a situation appropriately #leadlap
A3: Having collaborative collective commitments for staff has helped. Developing a strong professional learning community around culture benefits, but still so hard. #LeadLAP
Rational Q4 #leadlap
This question also allows the facilitator to gauge the need for more discussion.
Ultimately, this question helps those harmed, or those who have harmed, turn away from pain and victimization, and turn towards growth and gratitude.
A4: Constantly reminding myself everything is a learning experience. There is something valuable I can take away from this experience, even if at the moment it feels really hard. #LeadLAP
It is important to have staff events beyond staff meetings. At @AJ_Prep_Academy we would have a staff outing prior to the school year to get to know each other beyond the "business" of #education. #LeadLAP
In reply to
@mreruchie, @MonicaHousen, @AJ_Prep_Academy
I have been told the exact same thing!!!! To dial back my passions. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ I can’t help that my face wears every thought I have & that my filter falls short when I believe something isn’t in the best interest of Ss. Is that such a bad thing?!?! #LeadLAP
The circle process we are providing today, with questions, are an effective way for students to identify how their behavior truly hurts another. #leadlap
In reply to
@Jyoung1219, @paydroh74, @burgess_shelley, @BethHouf, @TaraMartinEDU, @dbc_inc, @burgessdave
A3. In these instances- its so important to have professional friends that you can relate to and seek input/ideas. Leadership should not be in isolation. #LeadLAP
my A1 example- the S was being dragged to the behavior room because he spit on his desk... why? to clean it... just ask kids why and HELP them!!! That's why I always ask why- know what was going on #LeadLAP
I recently came across an image I wish I can find right now. It said, “Never fall down to their level, unless you’re going to help raise them to yours.” #leadlap
In reply to
@APKRentz, @mreruchie, @paydroh74, @burgess_shelley, @BethHouf, @TaraMartinEDU, @dbc_inc, @burgessdave
When I'm the one who has been harmed I have a whole system of supports. #1 is my wife, followed by school colleagues and my awesome Voxer PLN groups. #leadlap
A3: In the experience I am referencing, my system of support was family, friends and my PLN. Truly, my PLN was key in helping me heal and rekindle my passion for education. #LeadLAP
A4 I am more vulnerable with the Ss I make sure that I listen and share with them. Even if I’m angry I put that aside and listen and apologize when I am in the wrong. #LeadLAP
A3: In order to have systems of support, leaders must build them. Issues will always arise...conflict is natural and healthy for growth. Make it the norm that other perspectives are recognized and appreciated. In the end, we focus on what is best for students. #LeadLAP
A3: When harm is done to a community, healing happens when the community comes together and works hard to repair it. That takes time and space, and a commitment to relationship building. And it’s much easier if those relationships are built ahead of time. #LeadLAP
A4: The biggest thing here is moving and learning forward. You cannot change what has happened in the past, but you can take some learning points to make sure it does not happen as easy the next time. Challenge yourself to grow from the situation. #LeadLAP
A3 would love support in mending relationships. Twice I've been hired with expectations to also fix relationships. Can't really fix what I didn't break. #leadlap
A1: Last year a S spit on the hallway floor and I slipped on it and fell down hard. Ouch! We don't bounce as well when we're mid-50s. The Principal didn't want to address it with him, so I got to. He didn't mean to hurt me, but we learned actions have consequences. #leadlap
A2: On one hand, it was a reality check of what I could experience in the world as a woman. On the other, it gave me motivation to become a writer and prove I wasn’t a C student (obviously that wasn’t the intent but I just tried to not let him win) #LeadLap
If you are looking for something to listen to on your commute or during exercise time...the #tlap audiobook came out just this week! It is basically me personally reading my book to you in your headphones! https://t.co/dXumLoPoGr#LeadLAP#leadupchat#satchat
BASTA! No more. We can no longer continue to nurture and protect these harmful systems. Authentic listening, talking, and community are the change we need. #LeadLAP
A1 Most of the schools I worked in prior to opening my own, used punitive discipline (& often grading as punishment). I never saw a single student improve because of those methods. I did see a lot of pain & low self-esteem.
#leadlap
It takes courage to be an upstander and have those hard conversations. The staff at our school just had a fantastic PD with @jenniferabrams on communication, collaboration, & having clarifying and hard convos. #leadlap
In reply to
@mreruchie, @APKRentz, @paydroh74, @burgess_shelley, @BethHouf, @TaraMartinEDU, @dbc_inc, @burgessdave, @jenniferabrams
Q3 This one is tricky bc every relationship is different and may require unique intervention. I think that the #1 support would be supportive, innovative leadership and a staff who comes together to problem solve. Our district poverty and equity training help as well! #leadlap
GM Carrie, thank you for sharing your experience and with us #leadLAP. This is why it is imperative that we as educators build bridges with the students, parents and communities. S behavior will never be transformed unless we build healthy school communities.
A1: My child was completely dressed down by admin for something a parent came in and said my child told her child. No investigation. My husband came in & told admin to stop bullying our child. Who screams at a child even in front of a parent? #LeadLAP
A3) This is a tough one to answer...the system that was in place, the one that helped me keep going as the educator I want to be, was an organically built crew of colleagues-word cannot describe their impact. #leadlap
Agreed! Often the only "system" is to get admin involved, which can be frustrating and intimidating, and puts a lot of unnecessary drama on the leader's plate. #LeadLAP
Experience made me the Ts I want to be. Was beat by 3rd grade teacher for asking too many questions. Turns out she was an alcoholic who hated Jews. I had no support. Refused to go so the adjustment counselor walk me in. Baby steps. From that I learned who I wanted to be #leadlap
A4: I try to be proactive so I see the "gang up" form ahead of time and get to the root. Thanks to #sldunktank , I have google to use and motivations of others to consider before acting. #LeadLAP
A4: I've learned that building the kind of culture where ALL of our adults have a shared committment to support one another is not a one-time deal. We continually revisit, learn from each other, recommit & grow from the challenges that come from being on a team together. #LeadLAP
I am so sorry to hear that. Thank you for sharing your story, as I know it will make an impact on others. It’s an open tab for me to read later. #leadlap
In reply to
@jmartinez727, @mreruchie, @paydroh74, @burgess_shelley, @BethHouf, @TaraMartinEDU, @dbc_inc, @burgessdave
A4: This student and I are still in communication, working on getting into colleges and making plans for the future. Can’t condemn kids for making poor choices. We all make them. Have to help them leans and grow from them. #LeadLAP
We are all part of a team to find the best ways to facilitate the learning of our students. We need to work together & respect each other. Leaders must be positive role models. Our #YouMatter page https://t.co/f5AKvPdgG0 shows the importance of caring for others. #LeadLAP
A4 I've grown by making it my mission to find ways to help Ss to realize that their behavior doesn't make them a badperson, it's simply a bad choice. I try to help them learn from their choice, make amends & figure out how to do better next time.
#leadlap
A4) I hope someone else has someone better to share than what I'm about to say! How have I grown? I simply moved on. Moved on, but not forgotten it: it is still hurtful and did harm. #leadlap
A4 Sometimes you need to rethink, reflect, or reframe the experience. Not taking it personally is difficult, especially immediately following the experience. Time can heal some wounds, but not all of them. #leadlap
I feel I’ve grown in the capacity and DOK that #RestorativePractices take time and a shift in thinking. I, too, have to step back and think before I react when I’m in a challenging situation with students. Starts with conversations, trust and time! #LeadLAP
In reply to
@paydroh74, @mreruchie, @burgess_shelley, @burgessdave
A4: I have chosen to grow from each negative situation I’ve been in and witnessed. Rather than wallow in it, I take those circumstances and make sure to learn from them. #LeadLAP
Marty from Wisconsin. Just finished my Educational Administration Degree. Currently working at an Alt Ed school and excited to be involved today. My “me time” is spent coaching soccer, taking in my favorite teams and gym time.#LeadLAP
A4 I felt betrayed and it took some reflection and the work of putting myself in the other persons shoes to help me heal. I also needed to forgive this person to move on #LeadLAP
Leadership matters. But leadership isn't limited to those with the big titles and big paychecks, but it sure makes a difference when they do the right work with the right people. #LeadLAP
A 3 My Super took a coaching approach. It was the right approach for me, for the situation, and allowed me the opportunity to reflect and go. I am fortunate to have leaders around me who model all the time. Some of the "leaders" are the staff I lead and the children
In reply to
@paydroh74, @mreruchie, @burgess_shelley, @burgessdave
A4: A teacher once told me that she had too much on her plate to do this kum-ba-yah #character stuff, so I told her that character was the plate. She got mad and didn't speak to me for a very long time. Next time, I'd invite her into a convo and offer to help instead. #leadlap
Rational Q5 #leadlap
This question provides all circle members to embrace their growth and use their experience working towards healing to support others. Imagine a world, where all our students & staff see each themselves as a support to every single member of the community.
A3: I feel like there are some things in place but really I was near the beginning of my career and she was near the end. It felt like I was the only one who had something to lose if I chose to do anything about it. I was also told, "thats just the way she is". #LeadLAP
Events are a system of support! Thank you, Fred! They provide space to get to know one another as people. Love this. Thank you for being my teacher today. #leadlap
It is important to have staff events beyond staff meetings. At @AJ_Prep_Academy we would have a staff outing prior to the school year to get to know each other beyond the "business" of #education. #LeadLAP
In reply to
@mreruchie, @MonicaHousen, @AJ_Prep_Academy
A5- I focus on RELATIONSHIPS with my Ts and especially Ss, trying to share that importance with all of our staff, develop community of trust. Training end of month for #RestorativePractices We need to support one another #LeadLAP
A5: Share your experiences. If people know they are not alone, everyone learns/grows together. Lead by example. Provide the support they need. #LeadLAP
A4. You only have a few options- quit or get better. I hope everyone chooses to get better but it takes great resolve, grit, self confidence and determination and most importantly support from others. #LeadLAP
A4. Any time a relationship is damaged it feels like a failure. As educators we teach our kiddos to "fail forward"...we have to think like that, too, even when it comes to relationships. This is growth. #LeadLAP
A5. I talk to Ss and Ps. Communicate often. I ask them how they are doing/feeling. No one ever asked me that when I was going through what I went through. Sometimes a quick check in can make all the difference #leadlap
A4: I've learned that building the kind of culture where ALL of our adults have a shared committment to support one another is not a one-time deal. We continually revisit, learn from each other, recommit & grow from the challenges that come from being on a team together. #LeadLAP
A4: Grown? Yes. Even people who speak moral high ground can't be taken at face value. It's only when the going gets tough the truth comes out. #LeadLAP
A5: After seeing the negative treatment of adults by adults, I try to cultivate a positive culture, guide discussions toward solutions rather than complaints, & listen to those who need an ear. #LeadLAP
A2: As a new admin, I am facing all the opportunities of building & fostering positivity, collaboration, & direct communication. We recently experienced a mid-year shift in staffing that has made it difficult. Pro & personal feelings were hurt. #leadlap
In reply to
@paydroh74, @mreruchie, @burgess_shelley, @burgessdave
A4b every experience must be seen as a chance to gain understanding. Many times we need to remove our feelings from the situation and seek the opportunity to grow #LeadLAP
BEAUTIFUL!!! And it's so important that we remind each other, and our students, of what supports are and what they can look like. Thank you so much for sharing. #leadlap
A5: It is my goal to be a source of support for Ss and Ts in need. Whether it’s a hug, encouragement, belief in the impossible, or just someone to listen and not judge... I strive to be that person for those who are hurting. #LeadLAP
Thank you to the custodians & bus drivers in snowy states that wake up on cold mornings to welcome Ss to school. 🚌 We💚U! #edchat#LeadLAP#LeadUpChat#tlap
A4/5 combined (I am super behind today!:) The impact of my situation with cutting back passion was I chose to reach out to those who have felt the same, who ache to inspire, and challenged them to keep going, because it matters and we are never alone. #leadlap
A5 When I opened my school 20 years ago, I decided to make huge changes in discipline. We use restorative discipline & do constant ongoing T training, since these changes can be incredibly difficult for those who come from a punitive background.
#leadlap
Yes! Let’s never forget the importance of those interpersonal nuances of tone, facial expression, body language that we don’t get with email and text. #leadlap
In reply to
@daywells, @paydroh74, @mreruchie, @burgess_shelley, @burgessdave
A5: The experience is still kind of fresh, so we’re working on that. Definitely allowed me to show my vulnerability as a leader to the others who were also a part of our process. #LeadLAP
A4: It’s funny. Even talking about it now brings me back and makes me really upset. But like I said, I’ve used it as a motivator and I also try to be aware of when bias is affecting others so I can join voices with them #leadlap
Q4. Positive parent relationships are a passion of mine. It takes constant commitment to putting my own emotions aside for the greater good. It gets easier over time. I have found a lot of joy in these relationships, especially the ones that overcome hardships! #LeadLAP
Gossip within a building hurts more than who it's about it kills climate of trust. When people go above & beyond, those vets that are stagnant start crap, we need a system to remove those kinds after they have been in system for years spewing their venom. Ideas? #LeadLAP
A5: This year, we made an intentional effort to build relationships and community in our Staff Room and at Faculty Meetings. We’ve made it a priority to get to know and appreciate each other. We can tackle anything when we tackle it together. #LeadLAP
A4. Any time a relationship is damaged it feels like a failure. As educators we teach our kiddos to "fail forward"...we have to think like that, too, even when it comes to relationships. This is growth. #LeadLAP
A huge THANK YOU to each and everyone of you who joined #LeadLAP today to learn more about the importance of Restorative Practices. We hope your New Year is filled with good health, happiness and LOVE!
@mreruchie@burgess_shelley@burgessdave@BethHouf
A5: Ego really is the enemy here bc it is NOT about me. I try my hardest to not take things personally, model my vulnerability by owning my impact, & apologize quickly when things do go well. #LeadLAP
Looking forward to having #CreativelyProductive author, @TechChef4u,, here to host #LeadLAP next week!!! Should be an amazing Saturday with lots of ideas for taking control of 2019!!! #tlap
A5: I have learned to honor myself in the workplace. As a leader I have provided PD opportunities for others to explore, learn and practice the use of the tools of cultural proficiency to our district. #loveistheanswer#leadlap
A1 #leadLAP This breaks my heart. The only things accomplished were
1-S no longer trusts adults
2-New trauma introduced to S
3-Other students saw this=trauma
my A1 example- the S was being dragged to the behavior room because he spit on his desk... why? to clean it... just ask kids why and HELP them!!! That's why I always ask why- know what was going on #LeadLAP
A5: Because of my experience with Ts who have too much on their plates, I've started bringing plates to my workshops and using them as a focal point, to display our #oneword and to draw our #selfcare wheels on the back.
It's a gentle reminder about portion control! #leadlap
A5: I think my experiences have helped shape me as a teacher leader and reminded me how important it is to support staff. We put so much in place for students but are way less forgiving and supportive of adults in most instances. #LeadLAP
Unfortunately I’ve witnessed that before too - when I was a classroom teacher who had just transferred to a new school. We must be bold, courageous, & have those hard & critical conversations #leadlap
In reply to
@jmartinez727, @paydroh74, @mreruchie, @burgess_shelley, @burgessdave
A5 It makes me think about what do we have in place to support teachers and students of color. Do students see themselves reflected in the curriculum? How can we support TOCs to navigate the school culture? I am looking into it. #leadlap
Q5I have been able to help and coach other teachers through conflict. In a staff, everyone brings different skills to the table. Its exciting to learn and grow from each other!#leadlap
A4: I am a more empathetic person. I recognize pain and have a greater ability to connect with those experiencing it. I also discovered that too often we “define” impact by a narrow set of parameters—explore opportunities we have never consideres. #LeadLAP
This speaks to the importance of restorative justice for all involved. The piece I always am mindful of is the importance of forgiveness - for the person who has caused the harm to forgive themself. That’s a key step. #leadlap
In reply to
@mreruchie, @paydroh74, @burgess_shelley, @BethHouf, @TaraMartinEDU, @dbc_inc, @burgessdave
A5: I must be present. Help others feel they are valued and I care. My door is always open, and I am available. I don’t have every answer, but I am willing to work hard to make difficult situation better. I cannot shy away from courageous conversations. #LeadLAP
SO much piled on our plates. My friends @houstonkraft and @johnnorlin remind us that if we keep piling things on people's plates that we risk broken plates. Really resonates with me! @careacter#leadlap
In reply to
@daywells, @jmartinez727, @houstonkraft, @johnnorlin, @careacter
This speaks to the importance of restorative justice for all involved. The piece I always am mindful of is the importance of forgiveness - for the person who has caused the harm to forgive themselves. That’s a key step. #leadlap
In reply to
@mreruchie, @paydroh74, @burgess_shelley, @BethHouf, @TaraMartinEDU, @dbc_inc, @burgessdave
A5 when situations arise like this I ask myself some standard questions.
1. How did we get here?
2. What can we do differently?
3. How can we ensure that all parties involved feel respected and heard?
4. How do we repair the relationships that were damaged?
#LeadLAP
A5: Because of my experience with Ts who have too much on their plates, I've started bringing plates to my workshops and using them as a focal point, to display our #oneword and to draw our #selfcare wheels on the back.
It's a gentle reminder about portion control! #leadlap
A5: Listen and try to understand points of view and perceptions of others. I can also appreciate people’s differences, and I think that helps. #leadlap
You make a good point. When Ss reflect on their behavior they can be very hard on themselves. It's important for them to know that their behavior is a choice not a definition of who they are.
#LeadLAP
A5: I treat each child like MY child. They are. However, the power behind that helps me make the best decisions on how to treat Ss and all other stakeholders. #LeadLAP
Absolutely. In a recent PD the staff had with @jenniferabrams, she shared research on how the degree & depth of trusting relationships have on student achievement. #leadlap
In reply to
@mreruchie, @paydroh74, @burgess_shelley, @burgessdave, @jenniferabrams
A5: Listen and try to understand points of view and perceptions of others. I can also appreciate people’s differences, and I think that helps. #leadlap
Heard a phrase once. Don’t operate in a CAVE. Colleagues Against Virtually Everything. This reminds me to be genuine, treat all with dignity and be upfront about your intentions. #LeadLAP
That moment when you realize the chat with #LeadLAP crew is already over for another Saturday. Thank you for another opportunity to grow & learn, @mreruchie & @paydroh74, @burgess_shelley & @BethHouf!
See y’all next week!
CAREfronting people with words lik,e "We don't talk like that here." or "Did you know about the KIND things that person does?" can help shut it down and switch the narrative. Drown the negativity with positivity whenever you can. #leadlap
A3: Constant partnerships is important. Partnering with sincere lines of communication, belief in the competency of others, having positive self regard, and humility to ask for help. Those things were def in play with every situation I’ve encountered this year. #leadlap
In reply to
@paydroh74, @mreruchie, @burgess_shelley, @burgessdave
Thank you for letting me join the #LeadLAP conversation this morning! So important to reflect on the impact our words and actions have on others and the steps we have taken to overcome the injuries we have experienced at the hands of others.
I hope my #LeadLAP crew will take a couple of minutes to check out this Voxer Book Study. Hoping some of you will join me on my journey to become a Multiplier in 2019!
Learn more here: https://t.co/cyYG8M2ksp
Well said. It always starts and comes back to relationships. Little can be done without paying attention to the relationship and when there’s repair that needs to take place, the time to do it is well worth it in the long run #leadlap
In reply to
@LisaPearceEdS, @paydroh74, @mreruchie, @burgess_shelley, @burgessdave
A4: With the mid-year staffing shift experience, I’ve learned the dire need to have more emotional regulation for self. Admin role is very quite lonely and I need to pause, reflect, reach out to my boss & other admins, & most importantly, stay focused on the standards. #leadlap
In reply to
@paydroh74, @mreruchie, @burgess_shelley, @burgessdave
How many administrators, teachers, pupil services team, paraprofessionals and staff own the culture in the BUILDING. Not just in their “neck of the woods.” I believe the best schools are filled with individuals want education, respect and love for all. #leadlap
A5: Building relationships & connecting to connect w/ those around me for guidance, support, & partnerships. We are all just one person individually & limited to our own perspectives & capacities, but when we partner together & collaborate, the possibilities are endless #leadlap
In reply to
@paydroh74, @mreruchie, @burgess_shelley, @burgessdave
