#leadupchat focuses on school leadership broadly, culture, changing paradigms, and the growth mindset. It's an Ed movement focused on Leadership, Culture, Growth and Shifts on Saturdays at 8:30am CST, founded by Jeff Veal (@heffrey) and Nathan Lang (@nalang1).
Good snowy morning #leadupchat Allyson Apsey, elem P in MI, still recovering from a tremendous week of learning at #MEMSPA17. Happy to join you this morning!
Jeremy, parent in Connecticut working for an education agency that models Courageous Conversations. Might chime in again about halfway through. #leadupchat
These are absolutely true on a daily basis: navigating conflict, exercising compassion, giving feedback (sometimes at the same time!) Solid piece, @richard_bruford#leadupchat
Q1: In having Courageous Conversations, it's normal to be afraid and even talk yourself out of having it.
What things tend to help you in preparing a positive mindset to have Real Talk? #leadupchat
Good morning #leadupchat I'm Jenn in California. Every time I think of talking too much and not listening enough, this is in my head. Trying to listen more!
Hey all! Isaac, Teacher Liaison for the state of N.M. wrapped up in a blanket to combat this 25 degree weather. Happy to join in for a bit. #leadupchat
Goodmorning! 2nd yr T from N. Texas here looking to learn how to speak truth and inspire Ss in all seasons. Being courageous is important #leadupchat#4thgade
Q1: I prepare by using gratitude as a defense against negativity. I'm so grateful for this calling and this wonderful work, even when it leads me into a courageous conversation #leadupchat#leadership
Q1: In having Courageous Conversations, it's normal to be afraid and even talk yourself out of having it.
What things tend to help you in preparing a positive mindset to have Real Talk? #leadupchat
A1: reflect on why you need to have the conversation and hopefully it’s related to improvement, growth, and serving our students better. Always easier when you are clear on the why and use the What’s best for Ss lens #leadupchat
A1 #LeadUpChat I can't imagine anyone enjoys difficult conversations. When I choose to engage in one it's because I have to protect our culture for the sake of our kids. Kids are my motivator.
A1: Courageous Conversations require one to reflect first, be empathetic, be compassionate and remind oneself about the importance of servant leadership. #leadupchat
A1: I prepare by using gratitude as a defense against negativity. I'm so grateful for this calling and this wonderful work, even when it leads me into a courageous conversation #leadupchat#leadership
Q1: In having Courageous Conversations, it's normal to be afraid and even talk yourself out of having it.
What things tend to help you in preparing a positive mindset to have Real Talk? #leadupchat
A1: I assume the best intent. Then think of ways to question without offending. People aren't stupid. They usually know and just need support without judgement. #leadupchat
Q1: In having Courageous Conversations, it's normal to be afraid and even talk yourself out of having it.
What things tend to help you in preparing a positive mindset to have Real Talk? #leadupchat
When diving into courageous conversations, think it is useful to plan for contingencies up front, preferably with the people having the conversation #leadupchat
RTQ1: In having Courageous Conversations, it's normal to be afraid and even talk yourself out of having it.
What things tend to help you in preparing a positive mindset to have Real Talk? #leadupchat
A1: that every conversation is for the good. Somebody has to do the tough stuff, it might as well be someone who can do it & keep the vision & always speak the real into action #leadupchat
A1: helps me to remember I might shed light on something that someone that has never crossed someone else’s mind and help their perspective! #leadupchat
A central Va Saturday snow day - lots of convo on #satchat abt T-directed work on a snow day - I’m for self-directed learning and play on snow days #LeadUpChat
A1 Find the common ground. If both parties know they're working towards the same goal, the conversation becomes less intimidating. Defenses go down & communication is better #leadupchat
A1: As an instructional coach, I was taught to focus on students in the hard convos. Removing the personalization allows the real problem to surface. #leadupchat
A1: Be prepared. Know your content. Courageous conversations can prove to be fruitful for all stakeholders if we engage with meaning and purpose. The end result should always benefit kids. #leadupchat
A1 - I usually like to rehearse my conversation in my head. Prepare answers to probable questions. Be prepared and be ready. Also, it’s important to schedule the conversation so as not to chicken out. 🐓 #leadupchat
A1 I always take time to really think about what I am saying and anticipate reactions. The reason for the conversations needs to be understood and may not be accepted at first. #leadupchat
A1: When you think about the positive outcome, and you keep that at the forefront of your mind, it is far easier to engage in critical conversation. Be mindful of where to start, and how you may be needed to support once the conversation is over. #leadupchat
A1: Knowing that in most cases, the result I’m looking for is to grow someone professionally. If I approach with a growth standpoint, it typically results in a positive conversation that will lead to growth. #LeadUpChat
Good morning #leadupchat ! I'm Florence, 5th year special educator, about to start my 3rd year in the public school system. Eager to broaden my horizons and develop new skills!
A1: Courageous Conversations are one of biggest challenges leaders face bcuz so often convo won't happen unless we step up. That reality helps me be brave. #leadupchat
A1. A clear set of values helps, as do personal examples (for me, Lincoln and my mother). As school leaders determination for courageous conversations begins with a passion for S, dedication to teacher success, and a belief in high expectations for all students. #leadupchat
A1: Sometimes I have to prepare to have hard conversations by having a script and rehearsing; making sure I also anticipate what the other person MIGHT say. May be dorky but it has saved me a lot of misery. #leadupchat
A1: having established relationships with Tt, Ss , and parents to be able to have open and honest communication for the betterment of my school it difficult but worth it #leadupchat
Remember to start with the "why." Validate concerns, but remain confident in the truth. It is crucially important for all stakeholders to understand that WE ALL WANT THE SAME THING. We just have different ways that we think about going about it. #leadupchat
Q1: In having Courageous Conversations, it's normal to be afraid and even talk yourself out of having it.
What things tend to help you in preparing a positive mindset to have Real Talk? #leadupchat
A1 focus on the why of the conversation. If the why is to make something better or improve an area that needs help then the person is less likely to feel that it's a personal attack/problem about them #leadupchat
A1: Staying focused on a positive outcome helps maintain a positive approach going in. Knowing that crucial conversations are necessary for improving experiences for students makes it a must have. Ss first! #leadupchat
A2 when engaging in convos where different values or actions are in the middle - think about and rehearse civility in the question listen reflect breathe process #LeadUpChat
A1: As an instructional coach, I was taught to focus on students in the hard convos. Removing the personalization allows the real problem to surface. #leadupchat
A1: Remind myself to have an open mind, listen, and be curious. Crucial convos crumble when I think I know what is BEST for the other person. What truth will I unearth in the convo? #leadupchat
A1: What others have said, plus I think of the HARD things I did in the past that I didn't think I could do. I also think about what the results will be if I DON'T have the convo. I also put myself in the other person's shoes. #summoncourage#andempathy#leadupchat
A1: preparing to have critical conversations, I enter with the mindset that my view/ideology might be wrong or inaccurate...that’s a big pull to swallow #Leadupchat
A1 #leadupchat Any difficult conversation in school leadership is to 1) help someone get better, 2) protect someone from harm, 3) protect your family's house (culture). And anyone can step up and do this, not just admins.
A1 I try to focus on the relationship component of the conversation. It's the leader's responsibility to have open-dialogue & focus on growth moving forward. #leadupchat
A! I also find that meeting w/ people 1 on 1 can help; then you can really dig in and hear what ppl are thinking. It takes more time but helps me to better understand their individual perspectives. #leadupchat
A1 focus on the why of the conversation. If the why is to make something better or improve an area that needs help then the person is less likely to feel that it's a personal attack/problem about them #leadupchat
A1: You must also be prepared to meet more than once. I have started conversations that went totally different than I thought they would go and had to end it, reflect, and go again perhaps from a different view point. #leadupchat
A1: One positive focus for having a courageous conversation is your own personal #growth in having done so. You can't get better at it if you don't practice #leadupchat
A1: Clear your schedule prior to the meeting; Use a Post-It note to identify your main points; Meditate; Watch an inspirational YouTube video https://t.co/3muYKbjGVm or develop a Pre-Game song to get hyped :) #leadupchat
A1: I prepare by using gratitude as a defense against negativity. I'm so grateful for this calling and this wonderful work, even when it leads me into a courageous conversation #leadupchat#leadership
Q1: In having Courageous Conversations, it's normal to be afraid and even talk yourself out of having it.
What things tend to help you in preparing a positive mindset to have Real Talk? #leadupchat
A1: Whenever I'm approaching a Courageous Conversation, it helps to remind myself that these conversations help me uphold my essential values: honesty, integrity, teamwork, etc. Not always easy, but knowing that I'm reflecting my principles is helpful. #leadupchat
A1: So often there is an perception about someone and the person doesn't even know that ppl see him/her that way. They deserve to know bcuz can't change what they don't know. #leadupchat
A1 A belief in America's promise is critical: In schools "all should have an equal chance" (as Lincoln said), bigotry, bullying, racism, gender prejudice should have no place. We must promote & live high expectations for every S, and help all T be the best they can be.#leadupchat
Great point! When the conversation is about what's best for students, keep the focus on the students and their results. Take out the blame & get to solutions. #leadupchat
Gathering all information and assuming the best intent, particularly of your people who strive to go above and beyond speaks volumes. Most people do not intend to do anything wrong. #leadupchat
A2 #leadupchat Staying focused in a courageous conversation is a challenge when a person becomes defensive or refuses to participate. Work to bring participants back to the core purpose. What is the point of the conversation?
Presuming positive intent is so important. Ppl don't go into education to mess w/ others. They go into education to help. If they are not helping, they deserve to know #leadupchat
I had a colleague that preferred to take a parent walk in without an appointment. Although it created problems with his schedule, he wanted to meet sooner than later! #leadupchat
#leadupchat A2 always conduct those difficult conversations with dignity and respect. Mentally prepare for an desired outcome with a game plan on how to achieve it!
YES. Cultures of mistrust add hidden transaction fees to every single interaction - delaying results & increasing fear exponentially. While cultures of trust work as performance multipliers, expediting the speed & efficiency of every transaction. #leadupchat#RelationshipsFirst
A1, As Steve Barone once said in a strategic planning workshop when I was hs principal at Singapore Am. School. We must separate ideas from personality, ideas must take center stage, not the ego or individual. #leadupchat
A2: keep the talking point simple. Sometimes although it gets off track, it’s worth hearing the person out and listening; however you have to come back to the topic so keep it just a couple key points #leadupchat
A2 if other things come up in during the conversation, say "let me make a not if that. Let's keep talking about this(main topic) and then we can visit that at the end or set up another time to talk". #leadupchat
Amen! I ask God to give me the words to share difficult points of discussion in a way in which they will respond positively and so that we can all grow. #leadupchat
A2: Plan and rehearse. Listen, and if/when the conversation goes off course, write down the tangent to come back to at an appropriate time. This honors the integrity of the conversation. #leadupchat
A2: make sure you’re in more of a private setting for a serious talk, plan your day around it so you have time for the talk, and of course put away a phone! #leadupchat
I always remember you don’t know what you don’t know and assume that once I bring something to their attention, they’ll work toward adjusting. #LeadUpChat
A1- Our business is kids. If the conversation you’re having will make kids feel safe, help them grow, or help them become a better person, put on the Noel girl panties and have the conversation. #leadupchat
A2 To stay focused on the main issue, be clear, concise, and organized beforehand. Prepare/plan exactly what the primary message needs to be and stay on-point. #leadupchat
A1: For me, it's good to prewrite my thinking to prepare for the conversation. I write it in the form of a letter to the person, so I can give them the letter. I also start with positive, what went well and end with thank you. #leadupchat
A2: Meditate. Seriously. Just like meditation our mind is going to wander during a convo. When you notice, don't beat yourself up, just bring yourself back to the convo and breath #leadupchat
Personally, I think some people have such a strong desire to be liked by others, typically rooted in insecurities, that they rather keep their positive perception than solve the problem. #leadupchat
A2: Create talking points in advance and hold to them. Keep bringing he conversation back to those points if things start to go off course. #Leadupchat
RTQ2: In having Courageous Conversations, it's important to focus on the main issue.
How can you ensure other distractions don't interfere? #leadupchat
A1: to prepare for Courageous Conversations I try to always remind myself of the goal and in the conversation start with stating the goal in clear language. I want to strive for productive solutions. Power pose before “starting” helps me too! 👍 seriously #LeadUpChat
A2 #leadupchat Often courageous conversations are with difficult people. Difficult people can be manipulative (intentionally or not) in their tendency to blame others or you. Good to keep that in mind so you can bring back to focus of conversation.
A2 - People will try and divert you from the main subject : defending, laying blame, making excuses, going on the offensive etc... It is important to be mindful of this and to stay calm. Emotions lead us off path. Don’t make it personal. #leadupchat
A2) Have a plan. I recently led a very challenging group conflict conversation. It went well, despite the tough issues, because I had a plan & a protocol to lead the discussion through intentional Qs, reflection time, and share out. You have to prepare. #leadupchat
A2: always start and finish the conversation on a positive — be willing to have a second meeting — I have an agenda a try to stay on topic so I don’t beat the issue into the ground #leadupchat
A2: If you REALLY are struggling to focus on the convo. There is no shame in actually saying, "I'm having a tough time giving this convo the focus it deserves. Can we come back to this at _____ time?" #leadupchat
A2 It's critical that we consider the situation and why we feel the need for the conversation. Is it the concern at hand or personal emotions connected to the situation? It's important to weed out emotions and focus on what we're facing. #leadupchat
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A2- Always find a way to refocus the conversation. “I can see how you would connect that to what we’re talking about today.” “I can imagine that’s difficult while also dealing with (topic at hand).” #leadupchat
A2: always bring it back to the focus. Often distractions come up. Sometimes by accident. Sometimes because people want to avoid the topic. Bring it back. Put on the blinders. #Leadupchat
A1: Aways remind myself to listen, really listen, so I can better understand how we all arrived at this point. Often this will lead to not only change for who I am talking to, but also for myself. We all want self reflective leaders! #leadupchat
Maybe it's why not everyone chooses to take on leadership roles- it's hard! You have to be brave to have those important conversations! You have to keep kids as that focus :) #Leadupchat
A2: Remain steadfastly student centered. Respectfully, bring the conversation back to the topic at hand. Be willing to reconvene at a later time if the conversation is proving to be counterproductive. #leadupchat
A2 if other things come up in during the conversation, say "let me make a note of that. Let's keep talking about this(main topic) and then we can visit that at the end or set up another time to talk". #leadupchat
A2: Write down the main issue on an index card if you must to remind yourself not to drift. Remind yourself that you are having this conversation to help the person become better. #leadupchat
A2: It is helpful to have a phrase you are comfortable with repeating ready to go. If the person brings up other issues, repeat that phrase to get back on track. (ie "how can we help you...") #leadupchat
A2: Make sure to be prepared, I typically have some sort of outline with leading questions, and make sure you put the conversation on your schedule when you are not rushed. ( Funny , I know. It seems we are all in a rush.) #leadupchat
A1 focus on the outcome rather than the feelings stirred up inside. If our outcome goal is positive loving change, the process can usually find its way to that end state. Mindset and priorities helps all #leadupchat
A2: Going back to the facts, going back to evidence, staying calm, keep personal feelings out of the conversation, listening (actively), etc. #leadupchat
A2 Make sure you have built a positive relationship BEFORE you have difficult convos. Hopefully this will help w/ distractors so that you can focus on real issues. #leadupchat
Yes, and at the same timeit honours the other person's concerns. They feel that you've heard them & often this allows to listen to your point as well. #leadupchat
A2: Plan and rehearse. Listen, and if/when the conversation goes off course, write down the tangent to come back to at an appropriate time. This honors the integrity of the conversation. #leadupchat
A2: be sure to identify the main issue, openly & honestly. Sometimes I get sucked into a distraction; I’ve learned to keep the main issue(s) on point. It’s also ok to have notes, hard stuff is hard don’t be afraid to use the tools to be sure you feel focused #leadupchat
Yes, that can be true in some cases. It is always easier to stay in that happy place. I do think you want people to feel like they had a chance to present their thoughts and feel listened to. #leadupchat
A2 Going in knowing that there will be distractions is a must. Be prepared to respond accordingly and refocus the conversation. However, give time to validate or walls will be built. #leadupchat
A2: Listen first, make ongoing eye contact, make the person with whom you are having the conversation the most important person in the building...be intentional. #leadupchat
A2 #leadupchat I think you need to have those conversations with the mindset of dignity and respect. Not everyone is going to agree with you. Others may have a different perspective. Being open and honest and up front will yield the best outcomes.
A2: Ask questions. Have the conversation in their environment, not in the office. This helps ensure that the one on the receiving end of the conversation is comfortable and willing to collaborate rather than feeling like they are in trouble. #LeadUpChat
Turn off your cell phone. Close the laptop. Focus on exactly one issue. Don't bring up old stuff. Framing the conversation around one specific issue is the clearest way ensure that everyone is hearing and responding to the same thing. #leadupchat
A2 by stating the main issue and your commitment to it up front in the realTALK convo, all can be on the same page. Reiterating helps too. We must be relentless to the truth, love and speaking what’s needed, staying on track #leadupchat
A2: building relationships so that you have positive conversations as well. It is like my connections to Ss. We have the good and the tough conversations. #leadupchat
A2: I believe in agendas! Sometimes when talking about one issue, other feelings and issues will come up, but I try to ask for permission to reflect on those new issues and continue the conversation when both parties are prepared. One thing at a time. #leadupchat
Such an important point. If all you do is have difficult conversations, you will lose credibility and trust very quickly. I think you should have far more positive conversations than difficult ones! #leadupchat
A2: My door is rarely closed. If it is closed it's a visual that I shouldn't be interrupted. As for the conversation: focus, questions and statements to redirect, and knowing when to end the conversation. #leadupchat
Turn off your cell phone. Close the laptop. Focus on exactly one issue. Don't bring up old stuff. Framing the conversation around one specific issue is the clearest way ensure that everyone is hearing and responding to the same thing. #leadupchat
Q3: In having Courageous Conversations, it's important to maintain a relationship of respect.
What strategies help to address the issue and move forward in a respectful manner? #leadupchat
Q3: In having Courageous Conversations, it's important to maintain a relationship of respect.
What strategies help to address the issue and move forward in a respectful manner? #leadupchat
So important to go to their space. I used to go on Teachers preps to their rooms if possible. Nothing worse then summoned to the admin’s office #leadupchat
A2 to laser light focus on the conversation, I use “3 to 4 => A to B” Restate the question/issue 3-4 times in the conversation and ask “how do we move from A to B?” #Leadupchat
A2: I love meeting in Libraries, it’s a neutral and calm space, meant to inspire...I try to anticipate extra things that people might need, have those on hand. Establish the goal and keep circling back to it. Sometimes, setting a protocol is helpful (if appropriate). #LeadUpChat
Re: @drneilgupta Q3 of Courageous conversations: "In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable." - Eisenhower #leadupchat
A2 It boils down to going in with a plan, having an open mind, and truly having those conversations that need to be had to move forward together and collectively. #leadupchat
A3: Make sure you know the strengths of the person you are talking with, and know their heart. Communicate that to them with words, tone of voice, and body language. #leadupchat
A3: Monitor what's going on inside of me. As long as I'm not getting triggered and taking it personally things should be okay. Look for signs other person is taking it personally. Create safety. #leadupchat
A2 To stay focused on the main issue, be clear, concise, and organized beforehand. Prepare/plan exactly what the primary message needs to be and stay on-point. #leadupchat
A3 Having conversations in private areas, going in with the intent of a positive solution if possible and being willing to listen and consider all sides. #leadupchat
A2: Make sure to schedule the right time and place for it. Even thought the conversation needs to happen, it doesn’t always need to happen right now. #leadupchat
A3: remembering they are human and we all make mistakes and the focus is solution-based and growth by everyone. Ending with a positive, handshake, etc is key #leadupchat
A3 making sure what's best for the culture of the organization is first. Remembering that you're both human and making sure this isn't personal. #leadupchat
A2. Know ur goals, and write down key points that you want to stress in advance. But don't force your points, because as we listen to others, situations and responses change. Stay on point, social distractions can lead to bird walks. #leadupchat
A2: Certainly can be multiple concerns that may come up... from either person. Good facilitation-acknowledge and set aside other issues (if possible) & be prepared w/ another time to meet. #leadupchat
A3 realizing that one convo will not solve anything - look for entry points to Building relationships and consider how to develop a longer sustained dialogue of appreciative inquiry #LeadUpChat
A3: Listening builds respect. You want to make sure that you are hearing what they have to say as opposed to telling them what they need to correct. #Leadupchat
A3: Listen intently. Don’t allow anyone to “gang up” on an issue. Speak softly. Try to engage in more creativity than defensive chat. I rarely sit behind my desk, I sit with them & be human. #leadupchat
Also preparing preplanning suggestions for ways to improve helps with courageous conversations and gives the person a path forward. Instead of saying, "You shouldn't have..." Say, "Next time you may want to..." #leadupchat A1
A3: Professional relationship built, the other party does not go back to the tough conversation=once it is resolved, move forward. Know how to let things go. #leadupchat
Q3: In having Courageous Conversations, it's important to maintain a relationship of respect.
What strategies help to address the issue and move forward in a respectful manner? #leadupchat
#leadupchat A3 Use social etiquette in mannerisms and speech. Avoid inflammatory phrases or accusatory speech. Always give the benefit of the doubt. Listen first!!
A3: Always begin and end with a positive. Maintaining and fostering relationships after the difficult exchange is of utmost importance to ensure it was a truly productive encounter. #leadupchat
A3 #leadupchat Focus on the behaviors, not the person. The crucial conversation comes about because you've noticed a behavior, not because you like/dislike a person.
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A3: Have that respect already with your staff. Also, if you’ve built a PLC culture that allows for open and honest conversations without judgement, people will be less likely to be offended by a difficult conversation. #leadupchat
Always be calm, courteous, and accept that disagreement may occur. An agenda, a time frame, and creating an action plan together to resolve any concerns can help. #leadupchat
Q3: In having Courageous Conversations, it's important to maintain a relationship of respect.
What strategies help to address the issue and move forward in a respectful manner? #leadupchat
A3: I think it’s important to check back in with the person you had the conversation with to show you care about the issues but more about them. #leadupchat
RTQ3: In having Courageous Conversations, it's important to maintain a relationship of respect.
What strategies help to address the issue and move forward in a respectful manner? #leadupchat
A3: Before the convo and after I have prepared from my viewpoint taking a step back and putting on the lens of the person I will be meeting with. What is their viewpoint? If something has gone wrong, what do they see as my part , as the leader in that? #leadupchat
I needed this. My mentor used to remind me that "not making a decision is making a decision" - sometimes time is needed for clarity and additional think-time #leadupchat
A3: respect them by just listening to what they have to say...don’t cut them off mid comment...hear their side/issue and then in a calm tone voice your side/issue #leadupchat
A3 listen to the other person’s words, their body language, their emotional tone versus prepping your next comment as they talk - what can you scaffold from what they communicate #LeadUpChat
RTQ3: In having Courageous Conversations, it's important to maintain a relationship of respect.
What strategies help to address the issue and move forward in a respectful manner? #leadupchat
A3 - Of course your prior relationship with the individual comes into play. Mutual respect is built over time, not during one convesation. Repect for the individual is the stage on which the conversation is set. #leadupchat
Sometimes people will dive into courageous conversations with individuals that they know will demonstrate respect, and likely won't push back. Some avoid the real conversations that need to be had with individuals that are more challenging. #leadupchat
A3 Keep the main point, the main point. It's never personal. Stay focused on the solution and build the person up with what they do well. Start with the positives whenever possible. #leadupchat
A3 #leadupchat Be prepared to really LISTEN! Even though you may have differing opinions, listening and hearing the other person's point of view will be huge in coming to a equitable solution for all parties. Be willing to meet halfway!
A3: acknowledge their position and ask why choices were made #leadupchat then us questioning to see if they might change their choices in hindsight and offering an alternative why
A3 #leadupchat Yet another reason positive relationships with one another and a positive culture/climate in your school is so important. Then crucial conversations are family meetings with loved ones.
A3: Make sure you know the strengths of the person you are talking with, and know their heart. Communicate that to them with words, tone of voice, and body language. #leadupchat
A3: focus on the what not the Who. Talk about what needs to change, the purpose of the change, not the person who needs to change. Ex: "we build relationships w/ S's so they feel safe and secure at school", not "you aren't bldng relationships & that needs to change" #leadupchat
Q3: In having Courageous Conversations, it's important to maintain a relationship of respect.
What strategies help to address the issue and move forward in a respectful manner? #leadupchat
A3) Conversation/Meeting Norms, established at the beginning of the conversation, & LISTEN don’t just talk. I find approaching from an effort to help others understand the bigger picture goes far. #leadupchat
A3: This is where it helps to know the person you're talking to. I find that often when there's a difficult situation, there's something that the other person needs me to know about them but doesn't feel comfortable telling me outright (I have these things too). #leadupchat
A3-Whether with parents or colleagues, it is important that they know—through your actions—that you are FOR kids no matter what. If they’ve seen you stand your ground for the good of kids, trust in your decisions is already there. #leadupchat
A3: it’s upon you as a leader to “move on” from the conversation next time you see the person—you must make the first move and show them that your relationship is not limited to your last convo #leadupchat
A3: Yes, respect is a must. I am intentional on building relationships. This front loads all conversations and allows the focus to be on the difficult and in almost all situations trust is already in place. #leadupchat
Q3: In having Courageous Conversations, it's important to maintain a relationship of respect.
What strategies help to address the issue and move forward in a respectful manner? #leadupchat
A3 Listen in the meeting/convo. Make notes of other points that are sugnificant. Try to include as many positives as possible. Don't carry the meeting beyond the meeting. #leadupchat
A3: acknowledge their position and ask why choices were made #leadupchat then us questioning to see if they might change their choices in hindsight and offering an alternative why
A3: Assume good intent. Give people a path forward by making a specific plan of action. What should the person do in the future to be better? Focus on that rather than dwelling on what went wrong in the past. #leadupchat
A3: Before the convo and after I have prepared from my viewpoint taking a step back and putting on the lens of the person I will be meeting with. What is their viewpoint? If something has gone wrong, what do they see as my part , as the leader in that? #leadupchat
A2 As principals, avoid the physical barriers of desks and power symbols. It often helps to meet in a teacher's classroom, or neutral area, sometime a walk outside helps. Moral leadership supporting students must steer all conversations. #leadupchat
A3: ALWAYS assume the best intent. Make it clear that you are both here for kids. Remain positive about next steps and schedule a follow-up meeting. Don't let it stop there. BELIEVE in people #leadupchat
A3: They must know you care about them regardless of the behavior you are discussing. Successful discussions happen because you care about them all the time not just when they get in trouble. #leadupchat
A3: listen with an open mind...be willing to compromise or come up with a game plan to move forward. After the meeting the conversation is over and have the ability to move forward #leadupchat
A3: Because most of my conversations focus on Ss, I really try to ensure that the intent and outcome of the conversation stays on doing what is best for children. #leadupchat#JoyfulLeaders
A3: Deal with the issue and then finalize your discussions by pointing out the strengths of the other person and their contributions and value to your organization. #leadupchat
"Am I listening or waiting to talk" is something I have to ask myself. It matters, and it is too easy to inadvertently slide into the second. #leadupchat
A3: Make the conversation a conversation. Not a talking to. I need to understand first then if action needs to be taken, I’ve at least sought out all info related to the issue. #LeadUpChat
A3. It’s important to actively listen as there are always two sides to every story. The person should come away feeling that their voice is valued and heard. #leadupchat
Such a good point! Those that work through difficult times/conversations together build even stronger relationships and trust/respect each other to be honest. #Leadupchat
“Listen deeply enough to be changed by what you learn” concept of facilitating sustained dialogue on his campus changed my kid’s understanding of others and built deep dialogue skills https://t.co/Vgb0OfUCx1#Leadupchat
A1- Our business is kids. If the conversation you’re having will make kids feel safe, help them grow, or help them become a better person, put on the big girl panties and have the conversation. #leadupchat
Sometimes people will dive into courageous conversations with individuals that they know will demonstrate respect, and likely won't push back. Some avoid the real conversations that need to be had with individuals that are more challenging. #leadupchat
A3: I highly recommend this tool. I learned a lot about my own conflict style. People have very different styles when it comes to conflict + as a leader you must bridge to meet them https://t.co/AN49jIHqI3#leadupchat
A3: always offering support to make a change, from myself, peers, whoever is appropriate. Even in the worst scenarios, people need our respect. #leadupchat
Great point Elisabeth! It's easy to have a courageous conversation when you know the other person won't push back. That's not a reason to determine whether or not to have one, but some definitely approach in that manner. #leadupchat
A3: my favourite line that has saved a conversation many times over, “wow, when you say that, I can really feel how much you love your child”. #LeadUpChat
@drneilgupta Non #leadupchat question: what platform are you using to keep track of today's Tweetup? Tweetdeck? Hootsuite?
You're moving like lightning. I'm impressed and would love to learn how.
Exactly. And it's unfortunate, because trust and relationships are at the heart of every school culture. Consistency is key, people do communicate to compare. It's a delicate balance. #leadupchat
A4: When we are having Courageous Conversations, important to settle into the moment, knowing you are exactly where you need to be, doing exactly what you should be doing. #leadupchat
A4: People experience conflict in different ways that connects to their culture and experience in the world. Don’t take it personally! Learn about yourself and your triggers and remember that it’s not about you #leadupchat
One piece of advice I offer Principals, Teachers: Give your ____ (Ts, Ss) PERMISSION to innovate. Sounds almost silly, but that actual VERBAL permission, call-to-action directly from you MATTERS. Removes worry/fear/status-quo clinging. #PERMISSIONTOINNOVATE#leadupchat#satchat
Teachers that stay comfortable don’t make many mistakes... but they usually don’t innovate either. If you want to be awesome... you have to take some risks.
Q3: Remind each other, it's okay to be emotional. Create a circle of safety - we're just humans on a blue dot in space trying to educate kids.
#leadupchat
A1: When I have to have difficult conversations with adults, I always think about how their actions affected the students. That is always my motivation in having that conversation. If it affects the student in a negative way, the conversation MUST happen. #leadupchat
A3: I think it's also important to check-in periodically and celebrate incremental changes or efforts. It emphasizes the importance of the relationship. #leadupchat
A3b: as an admin be willing to admit I made a mistake but will learn from it has been a great approach for me to take with some stakeholders—it is hard to show that vulnerability!!!#leadupchat
A4: Do things on purpose that make you uncomfortable. The more you do that the more comfortable you will be when discomfort enters and the stakes are high. Most of us like simple, easy too much to heed this advice 😳 #leadupchat
A4: I go into convos with the idea that we are doing what is in the best interest of kids...we might be looking in the same direction just planning a different route to get there...
#leadupchat
A4: I remind myself the person I’m talking with feels the same way and once we come to a conclusion the discomfort in the conversation will ease #leadupchat
A4: Knowing the "Mistakes grow your brain" and can help us become better is a great mindset to have when approaching courageous conversations. https://t.co/NXq3rahvEj#leadupchat
A4) I learned from a great professor, Dr. John Wagner, that the greatest amount of change can come from discomfort. I actually take comfort in this thought! When done respectfully of course...#leadupchat.
This is a great point, Tracy. We, as leaders, need to see how we have impacted others' actions. It's so important to see it from the other person's point of view! #leadupchat
A3: Before the convo and after I have prepared from my viewpoint taking a step back and putting on the lens of the person I will be meeting with. What is their viewpoint? If something has gone wrong, what do they see as my part , as the leader in that? #leadupchat
A3 It is critical to document key points, w specific examples. Also, show respect 4 the individuals we are working with: if possible, separate the behavior from the individual, to demonstrate respect. Then decide on mutual goals (if possible), & timeline to follow up. #leadupchat
A4: Leaders have to embrace a #growthmindset during courageous conversations. The conversation is about #growth on both sides of the table. You can't embrace discomfort without intentionally putting yourself in positions of discomfort #leadupchat#practice
A3 Listen in the meeting/convo. Make notes of other points that are sugnificant. Try to include as many positives as possible. Don't carry the meeting beyond the meeting. #leadupchat
A4 #leadupchat Change is seldom comfortable. The whole point of a crucial conversation is to bring about change. We have to know that is part of the territory.
A4 Doing my best to stay focused on why the conversation needs to happen and seeking a positive solution as possible. It can be uncomfortable no matter what. #leadupchat
A4: my mindset is what is best for kids, the school, district. If clear on WHY you are having the conversation and it’s not personal, your mindset is easier to establish #leadupchat
A4: Again, reading The Art of Learning. Waitzkin would get unfocused when music would get stuck in his head during a chess match. At first he battled to IGNORE it. Then he started EMBRACING it and played chess to the beat of music #leadupchat
A4 I know it sounds weird but I think being physically fit has helped me in this regard. I push myself and my brain has become comfortable w/ being uncomfortable. #leadupchat
Now you have me thinking about "respect" Everyone deserves a basic level of respect. But there are also those who earn a higher level of respect. We tend to like them. My brain hit pause. Thanks! #leadupchat
A4) Here’s the time I actually focus on myself. I tell Ss & Ts all the time that growth doesn’t happen when we are comfortable. So, I consider the ways I wil gain skills as a leader by engaging in the conversation. It helps keep me from stopping short. #leadupchat
Most welcome -it’s a college strategy for having tough uni community conversations but lends itself to other communities and 1:1 convos too #leadupchat
A4: It's ok to be vulnerable. Be transparent. Explain your perspective and allow for others to do so, too. Disagreement is not the enemy. Complacency is. #leadupchat
A4 acknowledge the discomfort, breathe through it & turn it into fuel for the conversation- the discomfort means that you're growing as a leader and you're growing the other person a too. Having the hard conversations shows bravery, vulnerability & growth! #leadupchat
Love the notion of learning from both sides of the table. I go in to each meeting being introspective about how I can also change to improve. #leadupchat
A4: Having an Inner Circle helps a Leader. Your Inner Circle could be your assistant principal. You could also have a group of school leaders on Voxer (across the U.S.). You may seek input from a business leader or mentor. Having a PLN on Voxer certainly helps you! #LeadUpChat
A4: It's ok to be vulnerable. Be transparent. Explain your perspective and allow for others to do so, too. Disagreement is not the enemy. Complacency is. #leadupchat
A4; To not make it personal, remember the goals of the organization. Reflecting on how can I , as the leader, move this forward and maintain dignity and respect of all involved with minimal damage to the working relationship. Transparency always helps. #leadupchat
A3, Again, the foundation for each strategy must be: 1) what is best for students, and 2) how can we help teachers be the best they can be. Always come back to these two points when developing each strategy. #leadupchat
A4: Remembering our “why” is a perfect way to set our mindset. We are there to serve students and adults in our buildings. It’s our job to grow all of them as leaders. #leadupchat
A4: Parking Lot, it’s okay for me to put all the pieces of a tricky conversation into the parking lot and arrange it when I’m ready. Sometime I just need to reenergize myself to continue processing. #LeadUpChat
A4: It's ok to be vulnerable. Be transparent. Explain your perspective and allow for others to do so, too. Disagreement is not the enemy. Complacency is. #leadupchat
It is powerful to assume best intentions. Hard to do in some cases but often the conversation turns when the person realizes they didn’t act like themselves. Honoring their intentions can value them. #leadupchat
A4 Yes, we do need to have some focus on ourselves. "What is happening to me" keeps me aware of possible defensiveness. And helps me listen and stay open. #leadupchat
A4: Learning that discomfort is okay is an area I have really grown in. It's important to remember there are usually layers in the difficult situation. Intentional listening and not making it "mine" are key for me. #leadupchat
10 Fantasies to Let Go of Before the New Year https://t.co/IdA4rLClM6 via @marcandangel. Loved this quote: “What the human being is best at doing is interpreting all new information so that their prior conclusions remain intact.” - Warren Buffet
A4: I never consider anything impossible. We truly must do or do not, there is no try of we want to create a culture of trust, good & vision. Tough convos don’t have to be confrontational, I choose to see them as opportunities to focus for good. #leadupchat
A4 Identify the topic, own the discomfort, and move forward together with a plan. It's not personal, it's professional. See the different perspectives and embrace them together. #leadupchat
Q3: Remind each other, it's okay to be emotional. Create a circle of safety - we're just humans on a blue dot in space trying to educate kids.
#leadupchat
A4 - An understanding and guiding mindset helps to ease the discomfort, though it is inevitable and necesary. If I begin by listening to understand I am much more effective in guiding. #leadupchat
Yes! I talk about agreeing to disagree often. All of us have different perspectives, and we must honor those and be willing to put the shoe on the other foot to move forward. #leadupchat
A4: Within a conversation, most of the discomfort for me results from the possibility that the other party might communicate in a way that is less than ideal. No matter what, I try to internally reframe their comments in a way that is useful and actionable for me. #leadupchat
Yes! Approach courageous conversations with the goal of doing what's best for students. Also, as you have the conversation, imagine the students are watching. How would we model having these conversations? #leadupchat
A1: When I have to have difficult conversations with adults, I always think about how their actions affected the students. That is always my motivation in having that conversation. If it affects the student in a negative way, the conversation MUST happen. #leadupchat
Yes. The number one strategy for encouraging others to respond to your feedback with change is to respond to their feedback with change. If you want others to change, go first. #leadupchat
A4 be willing to examine your own frame for why a convo is needed - focus on finding common ground if possible through values vs blame frame ask “what am I doing” #LeadUpChat
A3 We should never think there are easy answers or solutions. We need to begin with a premise: Relationships and problem solving are complex. #leadupchat
A4-That we all want to improve and that is the goal going in. Whether we are improving instruction , management, behavior, or a relationship that is the goal. The goal is not to beat down but to build up and support. #leadupchat
You have to enter into courageous conversations knowing that the recipient is going to be upset with you and you need to be ok with that as it’s part of the process toward accountability. #leadupchat
A4: Push it aside and just do it. They are uncomfortable too. The issue still needs to be addressed. If your WHY is important, the comfort level is irrelevant. #leadupchat
It is powerful to assume best intentions. Hard to do in some cases but often the conversation turns when the person realizes they didn’t act like themselves. Honoring their intentions can value them. #leadupchat
A4 Just knowing that it is the right thing to do helps me move forward. Courageous conversations are never fun, but they do get easier with experience. Stay focused on what is best for students and school, not what is convenient and easy for us. #leadupchat
A4: To achieve authentic growth, one must fully embrace discomfort and productively move passed it with grace and humility. Discomfort is an opportunity to do better for kids. #leadupchat
A4: The power of effective communication in meetings improves relationships will make my school stronger (and I won’t fret about the issue all night long) #leadupchat
That is a terrific book! We have a group of teachers in a new "Innovative Teaching & Learning PLC" who did a book study on it this past summer. Very powerful! #leadupchat
A4- Be honest. Say “This could get uncomfortable and that’s ok. My hope is that this conversation helps us both understand each other and grow as professionals, but we have to be honest with each other.” #leadupchat
A4: by establishing a growth mindset culture for all...including the leader. You must let them feel safe when they need to have a crucial conversation about you as a leader too! #leadupchat
Q5: In having Courageous Conversations, leaders must be watchful for traps.
What types of traps or pitfalls do leaders need to recognize when engaging in Courageous Conversations? #leadupchat
When we avoid addressing conversations around the negative effect of actions with a child, we are sending a message that it's okay. No matter how difficult it may be, it's a conversation that needs to be had. #leadupchat
A4 #leadupchat When you're feeling uncomfortable in that difficult conversation, just remember a big reason you're in that convo is to protect the folks who are moving the organization forward.
A4 Just knowing that it is the right thing to do helps me move forward. Courageous conversations are never fun, but they do get easier with experience. Stay focused on what is best for students and school, not what is convenient and easy for us. #leadupchat
A4 Knowing that taking the steps forward to have the conversation will have a positive impact on school culture or students. Everything revolves around what's best for students. #leadupchat
A4: Sometimes you have to tell yourself before it starts to get over yourself and your feelings/fears and tell people how they can get better. #leadupchat
I tell my students and staff to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Stepping outside the comfort zone with almost always bring growth. #leadupchat
A4: As a leader, person in general, where does the conversation fit in to your “non-negotiables”, your personal vision. Checking that discomfort & realizing where it is coming from helps. #leadupchat
@ToddWhitaker has discussed these critical conversations in many of his books and gives awesome tips and advice about how to navigate these. #leadupchat
A5 One trap is that the person moves the conversation away onto safer ground. It is hard to bring it back to the main point but me must because that is the issue that is causing problems elsewhere. #leadupchat
A4: In real relationships, there are times of discomfort. When we sacrifice our comfort to address and issue that will benefit ____ (students, our school community, learning, etc.), we act as leaders. #leadupchat
Beware of Monkeys! @ToddWhitaker's "Shifting the Monkey" is an outstanding step-by-step guide on how to spot monkeys and put them back where they belong when conversations threaten to get derailed. https://t.co/bXPPvm8u8V#leadupchat
Q5: In having Courageous Conversations, leaders must be watchful for traps.
What types of traps or pitfalls do leaders need to recognize when engaging in Courageous Conversations? #leadupchat
A4) When a leader successfully models courageous conversations, it seems to allow others in the building to also have more frequently needed conversations therefore not allowing big things to arise. #colleagueconvos#leadupchat
A5 Another trap is the temptation to be "too nice"! We have to listen with empathy and compassion but also be courageous to challenge the low standard or issue we are addressing. #leadupchat
A3: focus on the what not the Who. Talk about what needs to change, the purpose of the change, not the person who needs to change. Ex: "we build relationships w/ S's so they feel safe and secure at school", not "you aren't bldng relationships & that needs to change" #leadupchat
A4- Be honest. Say “This could get uncomfortable and that’s ok. My hope is that this conversation helps us both understand each other and grow as professionals, but we have to be honest with each other.” #leadupchat
A4: Reminding everyone that as we change and innovate this will be a normal part of the process. If we aren’t experiencing growing pains then we really aren’t doing “the work.” #leadupchat
A5: @ToddWhitaker "Shifting the Monkey" is an excellent resource for this...it offers great ideas for all sorts of responses: crying, pouting, angry, blaming...
#leadupchat
Q5: In having Courageous Conversations, leaders must be watchful for traps.
What types of traps or pitfalls do leaders need to recognize when engaging in Courageous Conversations? #leadupchat
A5: Leadership Pitfalls: "The Law of the Lid" (Maxwell), Avoiding a Conversation that may be difficult, and Believing that one conversation will lead to change (without accountability, deadlines, or coaching and follow-up conversations) #LeadUpChat
Q5: In having Courageous Conversations, leaders must be watchful for traps.
What types of traps or pitfalls do leaders need to recognize when engaging in Courageous Conversations? #leadupchat
A5-Getting our backs up and becoming offensive. Allowing he conversation we started to turn on us. Allowing someone else to make the issue everyone else’s issue other than theor own. #leadupchat
A3. Keep in mind Elie Wiesel's advice, "As long as people talk and listen to one another, everything remains possible." Knowing that Wiesel's words are from the heart of a holocaust survivor, makes his point that much more powerful. #leadupchat
RTQ5: In having Courageous Conversations, leaders must be watchful for traps.
What types of traps or pitfalls do leaders need to recognize when engaging in Courageous Conversations? #leadupchat
A5: don't take things personally, address it when someone tries to deflect or not take ownership of what's going on, don't fall into the trap of being the person who will fix/save it all, instead give ppl the tools they need to be that person #leadupchat
A5: Traps and pitfalls may include changing the conversation to avoid the difficult, blaming others, and lack of focus when seeking a solution. What are we doing to make this better? #leadupchat
A5: Remember that the person may react in an unpleasant way AND you can't reciprocate. We have to watch, listen, analyze, and respond appropriately. Don't get defensive. Stay the course #leadupchat
Q5: In having Courageous Conversations, leaders must be watchful for traps.
What types of traps or pitfalls do leaders need to recognize when engaging in Courageous Conversations? #leadupchat
A5) Circular talk that doesn’t solve problems. Excuses. When the other party attempts to get you “on their side” rather than remaining neutral & in support of all equally. #leadupchat
Wow what a reflective conversation this morning and lots of ideas to make me a more effective communicator in difficult situations— THANK YOU #leadupchat
A5: Sometimes, it's not about asking questions or continued dialogue. It's about saying the thing that's the hardest to say. Then, letting the silence do the heavy lifting. This can lead to reflection and next steps. #leadupchat
A5 Another common issue I have noticed is that people move the focus onto their own feelings. Needs careful sensitivity to them but also bring the actual issue for others back to the table. #leadupchat
I started asking about the use of the word "everyone".
Tell me who when you say everyone? (as district lead teacher)
Usually turned out to be 1 or 2. #leadupchat
A5 What if, transfer of blame, couching language, but "he/she". These convresation by their nature are personal but we should always address the behavior, action, results. #leadupchat
A5: Avoiding the blame game, Avoiding the Curly Complex , as I call it, "I was a victim of circumstance." As a leader, taking responsibility for my part in the "why" this conversation needs to take place. #leadupchat
A5: This shouldn’t become an “us” vs. “them” scenario. Remain unified in achieving your objectives. Using all inclusive language (us and we) will allow all parties to feel like they are not alone. #leadupchat
A5: Remember that the person may react in an unpleasant way AND you can't reciprocate. We have to watch, listen, analyze, and respond appropriately. Don't get defensive. Stay the course #leadupchat
Q5: In having Courageous Conversations, leaders must be watchful for traps.
What types of traps or pitfalls do leaders need to recognize when engaging in Courageous Conversations? #leadupchat
A5: Pitfalls to avoid when having Courageous Conversations:
1. I am totally right.
2. You are totally wrong.
3. I am so fed up with you that I could...
#leadupchat
Are there times when you have to put behavior in context? Say the latest behavior in itself isn't huge but you're concerned it's becoming a pattern? #leadupchat
Turn off your cell phone. Close the laptop. Focus on exactly one issue. Don't bring up old stuff. Framing the conversation around one specific issue is the clearest way ensure that everyone is hearing and responding to the same thing. #leadupchat
A4: Delivery is vital. Recipient must feel as if feedback is coming from the right place. Feedback must also be specific, relevant, useful and applicable. Generic or irrelevant feedback damages the relationship. #LeadUpChat
A5 #leadupchat Pitfalls and traps of courageous conversations include blame, defensiveness, victim mentality, emotion, yelling/crying, diversion, and dismissive behaviors/refusal to participate.
A5: Remember that the person may react in an unpleasant way AND you can't reciprocate. We have to watch, listen, analyze, and respond appropriately. Don't get defensive. Stay the course #leadupchat
Q5: In having Courageous Conversations, leaders must be watchful for traps.
What types of traps or pitfalls do leaders need to recognize when engaging in Courageous Conversations? #leadupchat
Great question, Jeremy. Sometimes my husband and I will joke when we say "WE need to do..." because we follow up with "And by WE I mean YOU."
Be careful using "we." Try using, "I'm noticing... help me understand..." #leadupchat
A5-Another pitfall is jumping in with our answer or what we think is right. We want to listen to see what the thinking was that got us to this conversation. #leadupchat
A5: One trap is not creating capacity to have hard conversations. We used Garmston’s Norms of Collaboration to develop our capacity to collaborate and communicate in respectful, professional and focused ways. We are all leaders, &we all have to develop these skills. #leadupchat
A5: Q5 connects with the need for leaders to remain steadfast in the face of traps/distractions. We are charged to create a collaborative vision of success, coach our teams to reach this point, and not be disturbed by energy vampires who disturb our focus on S growth #Leadupchat
Q5: In having Courageous Conversations, leaders must be watchful for traps.
What types of traps or pitfalls do leaders need to recognize when engaging in Courageous Conversations? #leadupchat
A5: Assuming (fr either party) that because there is a long standing or strong working relationship that there is no reason to make change. If anything, that should build more opportunity to look to a shared, perhaps different future! #leadupchat
Howdy #leadupchat ~ A5: I think that blame is a huge trap that we have to watch out for. It's so important to help people own it, fix it, and move on through our care-fronting convos!
Being "too nice" and beating around the bush without truly talking about an issue- crucial conversations need clarity if change is expected #leadupchat
A2: In avoiding distractions, you have to be present and focus on the individual. The time should be scheduled so that you give them your time. No phones or emails should be present when having these conversations. #leadupchat
Q6: In having Courageous Conversations, leaders might need/want to bring data or information.
What sources of information might be used? How should it best be shared? #leadupchat
A5 I think the most difficult pitfall is when someone is simply hearing you out just to get through the conversation, but no reflection takes place. No reflection = No change. Why don't some people care? #leadupchat
A4: All leaders must first gain trust and then create an atmosphere of enabling and allowing courageous conversations. They must be willing to reconsider their biases. They must be willing (mindset) to adapt their communication style. #LeadUpChat
I'm seeing the book Shifting the Monkey by @ToddWhitaker mentioned over and over for this question. Such a great resource! A definite must read #leadupchat
Q6: In having Courageous Conversations, leaders might need/want to bring data or information.
What sources of information might be used? How should it best be shared? #leadupchat
A5: Courageous conversations should not be about winning or losing...let’s find the truth together, seek common ground and move forward supporting each other. #leadupchat
A6 Good to have actual words said. I think truth is often better than a paraphrase, though clearly care must be taken in extreme situations. #leadupchat
I've found that it generalizes things by saying "everyone" and takes the focus off of the specific issue. Kudos for getting back to the issue by asking about "everyone." #leadupchat
Yes. My comment was more about piling on. “… and I got a complaint from a parent about your homework policy…” Adding in comments instead of staying on topic. #leadupchat
A5: Mostly watch for the ones I create. Doubt, wishing I had ALL the answers, wanting to give the situation other thoughts. Letting the solutions come without me controlling them. I’m bad about 2nd guessing my abilities these days #leadupchat
A6 The data depends on the convo but it cannot always be the be all. Make sure to always include the human side. The other person is a PERSON not a data point. #leadupchat
A6 various types of data should be shared w/ the understanding that data doesn't tell us everything and may not tell the entire story but can give us a snapshot #leadupchat
A4. Our values, our beliefs, & the school mission prepare us for dealing w discomfort: Every S deserves unlimited opportunities, & every T must be supported to achieve classroom greatness. Leaders must fight for these goals. That is why we have these conversations. #leadupchat
A6: Any data I might use I save as needed...not as "a gotcha" but as a concern and need for the conversation...especially if someone believes there isn't a problem worth discussing.
#leadupchat
Q6: In having Courageous Conversations, leaders might need/want to bring data or information.
What sources of information might be used? How should it best be shared? #leadupchat
I'm seeing the book Shifting the Monkey by @ToddWhitaker mentioned over and over for this question. Such a great resource! A definite must read #leadupchat
Yes, I recently wrote a letter to start a courageous conversation. I needed to own my part and what I could have done better. Then describe other areas where other people could improve. Accepting our own blame sets a model. #leadupchat
A6 #leadupchat Data used for a courageous conversation depends on the topic. Attendance comes to mind. If you're discussing employee attendance, bring attendance data to show patterns.
RTQ6: In having Courageous Conversations, leaders might need/want to bring data or information.
What sources of information might be used? How should it best be shared? #leadupchat
A6: Speaking from experience on the receiving end ... PLEASE ... bring honest and truthful information and not BS. It will forever mar your character (which is okay if you lack integrity & values & just follow orders) #leadupchat
A6: Leaders can empower when we see data as a flashlight instead of a hammer. Ask yourself, “Does the data we are using match the outcome we want?” #leadupchat
A6: Any data you use for conversations should be checked for accuracy to whatever extent possible and it should be easy for both parties to understand what they're looking at.#leadupchat
A6 ...and it's only fair for someone to see if a criticism is factual or not. That gives them a chance to respons directly with the facts, and so have a creative suggestion themselves. #leadupchat
Gotcha. And glad you mentioned parents... curious how much you refer them back to the teacher, and when you think parents principals need to be included in the conversation. #leadupchat
Being a connected educator is a game changer. Find at least 3 other thought leaders from today's #LeadUpChat to connect with and converge ideas! You will be the better for it!
A6: Leaders can empower when we see data as a flashlight instead of a hammer. Ask yourself, “Does the data we are using match the outcome we want?” #leadupchat
A6: Any data I might use I save as needed...not as "a gotcha" but as a concern and need for the conversation...especially if someone believes there isn't a problem worth discussing.
#leadupchat
Q6: In having Courageous Conversations, leaders might need/want to bring data or information.
What sources of information might be used? How should it best be shared? #leadupchat
A6: Data/information will vary based on who and what your meeting about. I believe it can be referred to and be a lead, but the focus must be on the why. #leadupchat
A6: Share it as real as it is! Make it listenable but don’t sugar coat it. Be sure the data is real too; hearsay is a killer. Open yourself up to seeing their view of data too. I always try to know what 2+2 is, but sometimes it adds up to 4.1 😏 #leadupchat
A6 - Depending on the situation, data can be used as a starting point to a conversation, but should be used wisely. Emotions and data don’t mix, so the timing is crucial so that the information will be well received. #leadupchat
A6: Leaders can empower when we see data as a flashlight instead of a hammer. Ask yourself, “Does the data we are using match the outcome we want?” #leadupchat
A1 A belief in America's promise is critical: In schools "all should have an equal chance" (as Lincoln said), bigotry, bullying, racism, gender prejudice should have no place. We must promote & live high expectations for every S, and help all T be the best they can be.#leadupchat
My first reaction to a parent concern is always,”What did the Teacher say about your concerns?” If they haven’t reached out to the teacher I foster that conversation first. #leadupchat
A6: It is difficult to challenge data points. However, it should be utilized as a tool for growth, not as a punitive means of discipline if our ultimate aim is to empower one another. #leadupchat
#edadmin Being a connected educator is a game changer. Find at least 3 other thought leaders from today's #LeadUpChat to connect with and converge ideas! You will be the better for it! https://t.co/8VtgPn6YB5
Agreed. Leadership is done best together. I will follow back any and all that participate in #leadupchat The more the merrier! Thanks @drneilgupta for facilitating a great discussing (and nice Xmas suit too BTW 😂)
Being a connected educator is a game changer. Find at least 3 other thought leaders from today's #LeadUpChat to connect with and converge ideas! You will be the better for it!
I was unable to be with the amazing #LeadUpChat tribe today but a special thank you to @drneilgupta for moderating! Can't wait to catch up on the transcript. Thank you also to everyone for spending an hour growing and learning with others! Everyone Lead Up this week!
A6: Break out some Hattie research! If we are here to make a difference for kids, align our practice around what has proven to make an impact. Get them thinking about taking action #leadupchat
Q6: In having Courageous Conversations, leaders might need/want to bring data or information.
What sources of information might be used? How should it best be shared? #leadupchat
A6: Information that could be brought to the table for discussion... identify this persons gifts (strengths-based first) with whom you engage in conversation, share the ‘problem’ and lay out possible solutions...together. #leadupchat
A1 focus on the why of the conversation. If the why is to make something better or improve an area that needs help then the person is less likely to feel that it's a personal attack/problem about them #leadupchat
A4. It helps to recognize that discomfort is normal. There is nothing wrong with feeling discomfort. Discomfort does not mean one is a "weak" leader, it means we care, and have empathy 4 others. Empathy should not be taken 4 granted, it's a vital human feeling. #leadupchat
A5: Courageous conversations should not be about winning or losing...let’s find the truth together, seek common ground and move forward supporting each other. #leadupchat
A6 Data/information can be used a guiding tool but the reason for the meeting should cultivate the why/whom at the center of attention. It's raw & real. Share and move forward. #leadupchat
A6) This is where the data nerd in me comes in handy! Using a 3rd point so we can both look at the facts works for me. Ask what the other party notices from the data or facts. #leadupchat
#Leadupchat A6. Data is very powerful..but I don't know if it opens doors for ppl to talk and have a conversation..If there's need for back up..use it..if not, Listen and Discuss
In giving a letter to start the courageous conversation, it allows the person time to reflect and they can go back to the letter when tensions and defenses aren't as high. In the letter, I write some specific suggestions for improvements. #leadupchat
