#akedchat Archive
#akedchat is a great way for Alaska-based educators to share teaching strategies, educational resources, and more.
Monday October 31, 2016
11:00 PM EDT
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Welcome to tonight we tackle the "scary" topic of uncomfortable conversation. Please check in by sharing… https://t.co/rPHyrPG08A
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My teenage son driving scares me!
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Thank you 1 wk on twitter-best leadership and PD decision I ever made
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My husband says that me driving scares him! I'm scared of the dentist
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Question 1: How can we change our mindset around uncomfortable conversations? What are the benefits? https://t.co/SLYMlXqLcD
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I'm afraid we might have a skeleton crew tonight : )
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Hi I was scared at work today several times - my coworkers thrive on this stuff!
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Sounds like some great comraderie!
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they are very original and persistent and I am very gullible!
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A1. Sometimes I have to urge myself to "lean in" to conflict rather than avoiding it.
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A2. I think in order for change to happen, uncomfortable conversations are a great spark for that! Change isn't easy!
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Yes! Often times, no one has talked to them about that uncomfortable topic before!
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https://t.co/ZzSjEekh5b
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A1: If I know I have to have an uncomfortable conversation I do better if I have some time to think it through - I resolve to remain calm
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Checking in for late and can't stay for long...but I'm here! Scary movies scare me. Can't even watch the previews!
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Skeletons welcome! And all the ghosts and ghouls hiding out in the shadows ;)
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Yes, when we avoid it we aren't helping ourselves or that other person
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Keep connecting w/ folks who inspire you . Twitter is absolutely THE best PD out there! … https://t.co/vAiqxVPR6a
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Thank you 1 wk on twitter-best leadership and PD decision I ever made
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me too! I hate 'em. I don't even want someone to tell me about them
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Booooo.... Skeleton crew? Really? Again...booooo. :) https://t.co/pK4F094oA0
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I'm afraid we might have a skeleton crew tonight : )
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Yes, I often feel like you are going into battle! There is anxiety because you dont know what the outcome will be
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I do know that it's almost never as bad as I imagine it will be - that helps to remember
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A2: in a group - too many unknown variables
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I dont really like scary movies either especially ones where there is teeth falling out! Love spooky books tho!
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situational... the trick is recognizing which- we are able to do that through continued personal growth
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I'e had a couple that didn't seem like they went well but something good occured out of it in the end. Good to remember!
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True - many tough convos are w/parents and the benefit can be a better understanding on both sides
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Yes - I think you learn from every one of those you have, for sure!
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Good point, I prefer group b/c it becomes more of a collaboration, but there are probably times when 1-on-1 works
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A2 it depends, usually one on one, it's best to only address those that need to hear it
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groups can be good when facing something together
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A2. Agreed on group vs. individual being situational... I guess on the whole I prefer 1:1, but love protocols, too.
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That's so true to respect confidentiality.
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what about difficult convos with a group who are all mad at you? Those happen with principals more often I think!
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A3 Realize that the discomfort comes from growth. Its the feeling of muscles recovering from a workout and making us stronger.
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confidentiality, and you don't want to drag down others. Sometimes it's really just a few that need to hear it
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when facing a group try to just listen and stay out of the weeds or you might get flooded. Just focus on basic facts.
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That's when its nice to have protocols: people have a chance to speak & listen, respond, & find solution
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A1: If you are truly comfortable with your students, there are no uncomfortable conversations. Love your kids. It's that easy.
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one against many isn't a good time to debate. Listen and ask questions.
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Q4. We like to think that we can all get along, but what's something that you are NOT flexible on? https://t.co/10ciiWlnV2
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Somehow I missed Q 3. Could you retweet it?
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Yes - in those situations it's best to just keep focus - what is it that people want
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great advice ... weeds choke growth https://t.co/hCd5wDL15b
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when facing a group try to just listen and stay out of the weeds or you might get flooded. Just focus on basic facts.
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sometimes when people are angry emotions get in the way of communication - often turns out your ultimate goals are similar
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Oh, I'm sorry. I misnumbered. Q4 is Q3. I forgot when I had a welcome slide.
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A4. I'm firm on respect. No place for disrespectful communication.
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A3: I'm not flexible if what others want is immoral, dishonest or unethical
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A2: I think it always needs to be 1-1. It's always easier to listen, react, & adjust. It's difficult to be personal with a group.
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Q4. I am not flexible when it comes to communication. You can call/email/text me, let me know what's happening. Hate not knowing
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Goes back to Q about mindsets-empathy is key - we don't know what baggage people are bringing to a confrontation
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I like groups to brainstorm solutions, its good to have the different point of views & not single someone out
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Q4. Refusal to create an environment where students can succeed. Success breads motivation
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A3: I am not flexible on giving up. I have absolutely no tolerance for giving up, whether a student, teacher, admin, or other.
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Q5. How can you change your mindset on your inflexible item? What would you have to reconsider? https://t.co/d58orSFmLh
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A4. Refusal to create an environment where students can succeed... Success breeds motivation, which breeds innovation
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Q5. I think about how some people didn't grow up with good communication skills, they need to be taught why its important
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I wouldn't change what I'm inflexible on, but I can try to steer the conversation toward a different solution
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Some people might not their immoral behavior (we might hope that they do) but what if they were never taught?
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A5 I won't change on respect, but I could see how what's respectful from 1 pt. of view might not be from another.
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sometimes that is a misunderstanding. Confo is an opportunity for us to fix it.
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Also remembering to teach & model respect that they might not otherwise know Good to have standards :)
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Yes! That's the magic of uncomfortable conversations! Talk about it & change it before it becomes `normal for them
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-- sorry to miss the rest of the conversation tonight! Grandkids are here to trick-or-treat, and they trump everything!
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Yes, humbling to realize we are always modeling.
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With parents and teachers I think we have to always remember there are deep anxieties, fears, etc at stake -careers, children, etc
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A5: I'm not sure I'm willing to allow students to give up. That is a solid foundation of my philosophy. I need to think about it.
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What about if they needed to find a different activity to showcase? I dont think I'll ever be good at basketball!
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A6. I'm mulling 1 right now, but it don't think I'll Tweet it. Just want 2 say that this convo is helping me reflect.
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that's awesome Tom, best of luck, I hope all is okay
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I love music, but I will never be able to read sheet music or play guitar. I can appreciate in different way :)
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Yes, we're fine. Just some growing pains!
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my downfall! remembering to listen in heated situations-gotten better over the years but I don't come by it naturally!
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Hard to listen when you let your feelings get involved and boy that is really, really easy to do! https://t.co/Q0zQqj4AXp
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my downfall! remembering to listen in heated situations-gotten better over the years but I don't come by it naturally!
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New A5: If the person replaced the original goal with a better one they could switch goals. Not quite giving up, but compromising.
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never say never, does distance 😉
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Thanks for a great discussion tonight on a "scary" topic! Join us again next week with for Mobile Apps!
