Time for #DevDiscuss, an hourlong Twitter meeting of awesome humans who code.
Tonight's topic is
š± Dealing with conflict š±
(And not the merge conflict kind)
Questions to start:
- How do you set yourself up for success with co-workers?
- What do you do when things get sour?
Success: make sure your teammates have what they need from you. Sour: address directly, calmly making it about the problem, not the person #DevDiscuss.
Huddle up, explain things and look at the pros and cons of various methods. Always discuss stuff beforehand so everyone's on the same page.
If all else fails, go grab a coffee and come back later. #DevDiscuss
#DevDiscuss I think one of my most successful strategies has been to convey my appreciation often. It helps build an open channel of communication, and a foundation of trust and respect if/when there's a disagreement.
(Forgot the #devdiscuss tag there.)
That being said, realize that conflict is a cornerstone of interpersonal communication. It is not an edge case to be avoided at all costs. It is something professionals will need to learn to deal with... well... professionally.
Ask questions to understand their perspective. Listen more than you talk. Find things to agree on ā Agreeing with someone quickly diffuses conflict. #DevDiscuss
Preparation seems to be the key. This might be just a simple agenda to refresh everyone's memory on what each member of the team is tackling and remembering the mission they are trying to reach so everyone keeps that in mind when things get sour #DevDiscuss
Time for #DevDiscuss, an hourlong Twitter meeting of awesome humans who code.
Tonight's topic is
š± Dealing with conflict š±
(And not the merge conflict kind)
Questions to start:
- How do you set yourself up for success with co-workers?
- What do you do when things get sour?
Be respectful but embrace conflict as a way to get things done. Nothing good comes from just agreeing with bad decisions to avoid conflict. Nothing. #devdiscuss
On tonight's #DevDiscuss topic on dealing with conflict, I want to point to this great article about lines of communication as a team becomes more complex.
https://t.co/wmnTyVz9vh
Conflict issues are usually about communication it seems.
One of my original employers was very big on "courage & candor" and "difficult conversations". I actually really appreciated the attitude and adopted it even as I moved on in my career. 1/3 #devdiscuss
Time for #DevDiscuss, an hourlong Twitter meeting of awesome humans who code.
Tonight's topic is
š± Dealing with conflict š±
(And not the merge conflict kind)
Questions to start:
- How do you set yourself up for success with co-workers?
- What do you do when things get sour?
I make it a point to listen and attempt as best I can to understand the perspective and position of the other party - whether that's a person or another team. From there I look for and pose solutions that consider those concerns. 2/3 #devdiscuss
That being said, sometimes it's necessary to make hard decisions. When that times comes it's important to be clear that you understood their concerns but that it has to be a certain way. Then stick to that position. Make the choices you're willing to stand behind. 3/3 #devdiscuss
#DevDiscuss I told my team, if you feel frustrated or annoyed while writing a pull request comment, then make the comment in person (team is all local)
I like the make sure my team knows I only have their best interest at heart. Reassure them that if I made a decision that offends them, that I did it out of ignorance and not spite. We all want the same thing. Aligning everyone on a common goal is a powerful thing. #DevDiscuss
Address conflict as soon as possible. My tendency to avoid conflict always push me back on having āhard conversationsā. But delaying It is worse for everyone (most of the times).
Itās easy to say, hard to accomplish.
#DevDiscuss
#DevDiscuss
Having disagreements is fine-- I'd be worried if there were no disagreements. How disagreements are handled is what's important.
Focus on arguments, not the people making them.
Separate the person from the work-- ie "this code is rubbish" ā "you are rubbish"
Etc
When you disagree with a decision, back it up with experience and expertise. If you can leave feelings out of it, your point will be stronger. Very difficult to do. So guilty of doint it. #devdiscuss
One of the difficult things you have to face is whether you have hired too many people too quickly. Communication overhead is extremely costly. #devdiscuss
On tonight's #DevDiscuss topic on dealing with conflict, I want to point to this great article about lines of communication as a team becomes more complex.
https://t.co/wmnTyVz9vh
Conflict issues are usually about communication it seems.
Looking through the perspective of the other person helps. If you understand there point, it's easier to explain why you think your perspective might be better. Also keeping an open mind, and being willing to give up ground on smaller things #DevDiscuss
If you've been forced out by the time your opinion was proven right, you don't have to worry about whether or not "I told you so" will hurt anyone's feelings.
#DevDiscuss#NotHelpful š
I have found it best to just be transparent and honest with folks. A lot of folks are understanding if you explain what is causing conflict for you. Also catch conflict while it is hot, don't let it fester. #DevDiscuss
I try to ask a lot of questions and have people explain things to me like I am five because I donāt like to assume that I know what is needed.
When things go wrong, I try to calmly see/ask where the miscommunication happened and own up to it. #devdiscuss
Before it gets there, admit that you were wrong/they were right when those situations arise and learn from it. Theyll understand, and be more willing to do the same in the future #devdiscuss
Communication is key and make sure you leave the room/desk on the same page. Conflict happens, but have a mitigation strategy before it happens #devdiscuss
Present alternatives to the technical direction you differ on. If you just present an opinion that isn't as helpful as you might think. Better alternatives is always a better direction. #DevDiscuss
In general, I agree to disagree because many of technical discussions are on subjetive matter, like ābetterā language for a problem given both can address the problem.
If itās a real technical problem, I probably can prove my point showing the problem.
#DevDiscuss
#DevDiscuss I hear out my co-worker and try to understand why they do things in a certain way. I then provide my way and list out the reasons. I try to stay objective, so that the technical decision is made for the betterment of the company, and not just a stylistic opinion war.
Even with better alternatives, you may still differ on technical direction. Ask questions and try to get to the bottom of why there is a difference. Most of the time there is a fundamental difference in understanding. Don't be a dick in this exercise. #DevDiscuss
Accept that just because an idea isn't yours doesn't mean it's wrong. There are different ways to approach things and too often we shut out other ideas too quickly. When I'm more open I find others typically are too. #DevDiscuss
All I know is I shouldnāt ānay, mustnātā sit back when someone is being a dick to me. So then the essential skill is apologizing when I blow up at them. :shrug:
Iāll usually run throug a dozen ways to have handled something in my head afterward. But in the moment, #DevDiscuss
The #devdiscuss by @ThePracticalDev today is about conflict
imo:
- solve `decisions vs opinions` to minimize conflict
- who will decide, everyone else -> opinions
- differ between people & context
- people's motivations count, context can be fixed
- talk while talk is easy
The key is building trust *before* the conflict. Knowing that your co-workers are hearing you and taking you seriously makes it much easier to leave the egos out of it. #DevDiscuss
But when possible itās better to try and imagine where theyāre coming from or ask questions to clarify, and likewise try to get them to see my point of view. #DevDiscuss
