Hello there, #MNLead! Mark here, elementary principal in Hopkins, MN. Excited to moderate tonight. I have to admit, I don't go to the theater to see movies. I did like watching "Wonder Woman" at home!
Good evening. Nick, Principal #GlennallenPanthers. I am excited to learn with you this evening. The best movie I have seen this year is the Muppets Take Manhattan. I am excited to learn with you this evening. #mnlead
Hello, #MNLead! Linda, AP at Stonewall Elementary in Winchester, VA. My movie-going experiences are mostly limited to kids’ films! My family really enjoyed Trolls last year.
Brooke Woodhouse, SpEd T in Byron MN and just saw 3 Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri last night...not sure if it's the best I've seen this year, but it was very good. #mnlead
Matt from Northfield, MN. Excited for this great #mnlead session led by the incomparable @principalfrench! Favorite movie? Star Wars: The Last Jedi of course!
Curt Slater Proud Principal for the @Jrwildcatsroar in Wyomimg MN! Best movie I have had a chance to see is the @Wyomingwildcats staff moving forward with amazing PD! #mnlead
Anna, #NaturePreK Tchr in Prior Lake, joined by my dad's dog who is hopeful that twitter chat means playing fetch... as for movie, the most recent one I watched and enjoyed was Wonder. #mnlead
#MNLead Hello! I'm Amber Moore, 3rd grade teacher at Stonewall Elementary in Winchester, VA. I watch a lot of kid movies but the best movie I saw was the real version of Beauty and the Beast!
A1: Depends on the question. I’m inspired by @matthew_arend to Just Say Yes. When the ? starts with, “mind if I try...” - the right answer is usually “no!” #MNLead
A1 Saying “no” is something we do everyday. Life is about trade-offs and every time we say “yes” to something we are saying “no” to something else. Read @GregoryMcKeown’s classic book “Essentialism” for more on this concept. #mnlead
#mnlead I think when you give your solid no, you are also offering your sacred YES to other things! You will get sucked into a vortex of doom if you don't. A1
I would have to say no it is not. I believe it is a necessary word to use in certain situations. It is a word that should be respected, it helps create boundaries for people. #MNLead
A1 - I don't believe that 'No' is a back word. Some students need that structure and they need to hear the word no, but still know they are cared for. #MNLead
A1) Nope. I think we need to be aware of how often we say it...sometimes it should be less...sometimes it should be more, ie: "No, I cannot be on one more committee". #mnlead
A1: Saying 'No' is about Setting limits on Ss behavior. Without knowing boundaries, Ss do not learn right from wrong, safe from dangerous, good from bad. #mnlead
That's just it! When we continue on, the expectations get greater...making it even more vital that we can use NO when we know we can't take it all on!
#mnlead
A1: Absolutely not. It’s a necessary term to have in your repertoire. The inability to say “no” can lead to unnecessary stress, over-committing, and letting down others & yourself. It took me a long time to learn to say no. It’s freeing! #MNLead
A1. I say it depends on the situation. If it's saying no to something that is your job, than yes... Also yes if it is something that is going to benefit the Ss in your classroom and you are saying no because you just don't want to... #mnlead
A1: Hmmm...If it has to do with safety, yes. If it's meant as an effort to do less for others so you can take better care of yourself, yes. But... before saying no, I'd like to think and answer the question, Why not? #mnlead
A1 Honestly, I don't even think we ever have to give reasons for saying No. There are times where no is completely appropriate. It is OK to say no. Period. #MNLead
Thanks Katie! I’ve learned that a NO shuts down new ideas quickly. A “yes” followed by let’s talk about how we can make it happen, inspires deep thinking and meaningful change. #MNLead
A1: Hey #mnlead tweeps. Justin, 4th grade teacher from Baltimore jumping in for a bit. The word NO can be a positive when it denies actions that don't support kids.
I agree! It might be interesting to really break things down and give examples, and then find out when people think it's OK to say no, and when it's not OK to say no. #MNLead
A1. Unless it's safety related (or illegal😀) I try not to answer with a flat out, "No". I think it's important to find a way to support the thinking while honoring the why. #mnlead
I didn't think of it this way!
You are exactly right...this word should not be used with a staff member or student who wants to explore a passion or try out a new strategy!
#mnlead
In the context of what we do in schools, our inability to say no (passion, regulation, legislative edict) have gotten us to the “our plate is too full” discussion. Sometimes, I think we do it to ourselves. #mnlead
A2 To one of my girls, they asked if they could get a ride somewhere and I said that within the timeframe they wanted a ride, it just wasn't going to work out. #MNLead
A2 I’m quick to say No when a staff member is looking for the easy way versus owning a student. Bottom line: not best for student = a NO! Kids first. #MNLead
A2: at school - a request to move forward with something that I felt had a strong undertone of passive-aggressiveness. I can’t allow the building of a divide. #MNLead
A2 I had to say no to a teacher wanting to attend PD. It was expensive and I couldn't see how the cost would translate to our whole staff. Those who do the work do the learning. That means I have to be judicious w how we spend. #mnlead
A2 I’m quick to say No when a staff member is looking for the easy way versus owning a student. Bottom line: not best for student = a NO! Kids first. #MNLead
A2 I was invited some important community discussions scheduled for Sunday mornings. I would have liked to attend. I reserve that time for family and worship. I had to say no. #mnlead
Very dirty kiddo asking if she could wait until tomorrow to shower...very dirty kid, like I'm not sure when she last showered kind of dirty, so the answer was no #mnlead
A2) Can't go into detail, but it had to do with what wasn't in the best interest of a student. It was an easy "No" because I knew what was right. #MNLead
A2- Just had to say No to my kids when they asked if they could stay up later...... why b/c I had to participate in a few twitter chats to learn from some amazing leaders tonight #MNLead
Q2: Yikes. It took me a long time to remember something I said no to. I actually had to say no to myself today (does that count?!) I wanted to run 7 miles, but it would’ve made my day too hectic and stressful. #MNLead
A2: Said no to a T that sees fair as everyone getting the same thing for punitive reasons. Some kids need "special treatment" if that's what will make them successful. #mnlead
Q2: Yikes. It took me a long time to remember something I said no to. I actually had to say no to myself today (does that count?!) I wanted to run 7 miles, but it would’ve made my day too hectic and stressful. #MNLead
Character and values don't get taught at a certain time. It happens all the time. We get our kids for 6-7 hours a day. During the week, that's more than they spend with parents. Nicely done. #mnlead
A2) The last thing I said No to at school was when I discovered that many of the 5th graders had discovered a way to change their iPad passwords without the tech coordinators permission. Props to them for discovering this but "No" to save craziness later. #mnlead
A2: Said no to a T that sees fair as everyone getting the same thing for punitive reasons. Some kids need "special treatment" if that's what will make them successful. #mnlead
A2. I said no to a request that I knew was detrimental for our school and it would have a negative impact on many in order to say yes to the one. #MNLead
This is important for district leaders to see. One of the few things I abhor is wasting people’s time. Make sure the meeting time is valuable, aligned to priorities, starts and ends on time, and has a clear agenda. #mnlead
A2) To my 3 year old niece who was insisting I take a lick of her Popsicle.:) If I'm struggling to remember when I've said no at work this past week...that might be a problem...hmmm...#mnlead
A2. I had to say no to preschoolers this last week when they wanted to glue a cheese stick (w/o wrapper) onto our Italian flag because it was white... probably not a good idea for something that was going to be on display for at least a month... :) #MNLead
A2.2: I also said NO to suspending a kid who was just tired... after sleeping for 2 hours he was a model citizen... now we need to figure out sleeping at home not days off of school! #mnlead
A3) I find it extremely hard to say "No" to my students with classic autism when they verbal make a request. They don't speak much and it is soooooo hard to not reinforce use of words. It breaks my heart! #mnlead
A2 - Such a tough question! I can't even remember the last time I said no to something. I say yes to everything and learn to balance everything. I should learn to say no more often. #MNLead
A3) It's hard to say "No" to students who want to spend time with me, who want me to come visit them, who invite me to play on the playground, or want to eat lunch together. #MNLead
A3 Honestly, as I get older, I have less and less of a hard time saying no. I have been able to see that there are times where it is just plain necessary in this thing we call life. #MNLead
#mnlead I have felt out of balance a lot in the past 5 years and I said no to my kids, when it should be a yes..and I need to say yes more and more to them. It has been hard to back off twitter chats, but it has been worth it for the long run.
A3 - I find it very difficult to say no to my admin, @LindaFarringer ;), and anyone in a higher position. I want to make them proud and be a team player. #MNLead
A3: Passionate teachers with well thought out ideas that maybe we just can't logistically or financially make happen. I do everything I can to avoid having to say no to them. #mnlead
A3: It's hard to say NO to my family when I have something really important for my profession... when other peoples kids take priority over my own... #mnlead
A3) It's hard to say "No" to students so instead I always engage in conversation to come up with a middle ground. Also, when the younger kids ask me to sit and eat lunch with them, it's almost impossible to say no. #MNLead
Yes!!!! This is the worst. But I always try to follow those "no"s with a yes when there is time for them. Even if it means taking some of my personal time to help those students to make it a yes. #mnlead
A3 I have gotten better at saying “no” over the years but probably need to say it more often…even to those who I would prefer not to say “no” to… #mnlead
I will admit that is something that I struggled with for a long time. For a couple of years I had some really challenging classes that affected me so much, that affected how I was at home with my family. When my own girls commented on that, I knew I had to make changes. #MNLead
A3) I am finding it easier to say no as I get older. Probably the most difficult to say no to though are my students' parents...but I don't often have to as they ask for very legitimate things and are the best advocates for their kids. #mnlead
A3. Family, friends, colleagues. My 92yr old grandma who phrases things as a statement "What time are you coming over?" versus "Can you come over?" #MNLead
A3) I am finding it easier to say no as I get older. Probably the most difficult to say no to though are my students' parents...but I don't often have to as they ask for very legitimate things and are the best advocates for their kids. #mnlead
Yup. I know we have to go through the experiences to realize that, but it sure would have made my life a whole lot easier had I realized that earlier in my life. #MNLead
A3: I cannot day no to students who ask to eat lunch with me. I now have a monthly calendar and fill in student names so we all know who goes on what days. #mnlead (Hi, julie, principal in Mi running late)
That is a challenge…when others have helped us on our journey it can be challenging to deny their request. However, when we help others we should do so with no expectations of anything in return. #mnlead
If I can I say yes, but so have also learned to prioritize my time. I already do all the things, if aim going to do more it’s because so really want to! #mnlead
A4: if I do feel guilty, I know I need to sleep on it and probably go back to that conversation the next day...guilt means someone has my wheels turning and we perhaps can find a way! #MNLead
HA! We only get these lessons from doing it. I have a feeling there are many more "hard" lessons to come even when I feel like i know better now. I hope we have it figured out already. :) #mnlead
A4. Professionally...I don’t usually feel guilty anymore. I know that I usually say yes and when I say no, I’ve thoughtfully considered why the answer needs to be no. #MNLead
A4 I use to feel guilty but I learned the guilt was bc I said yes when I should have said no. When I say no it is bc I have run the idea through my belief statement/filter to make the best choice. #mnlead
A4 In all honesty, my Lutheran upbringing has me feeling guilt about things I could let go of but don't. So yes, I sometimes have those pangs of guilt saying no. #mnlead
A3) it's tough to say no when someone needs help- my heart struggles with that. I always say yes in these situations which can make for a tough schedule...#mnlead
A4.1 It depends…saying no to someone who has gone above and beyond in order to maintain consistent application of a policy can cause me to lose sleep. #mnlead
A4: No bc guilt is an emotion for when I do something wrong. When I say No I might create a little extra work bc now they have to ask someone else, but it falls short of hurtful. #mnlead
A4: Depends on the situation. Anything that is great for kids is hard to say no to. This is why a leader and school's greatest asset is a team. We can't do everything ourselves. #mnlead
A4 - Everytime I say 'No' I feel incredibly guilty. I want to be able to do it all and please everyone. It is very difficult for me to say no and not think about it anymore. #MNLead
A4- What it boils down to: if saying “no” is what’s best for kids (or my family, health, career, etc.), then there is zero guilt. #MNLead#KidsDeserveIt
@trishgoosen I agree with you there, as by following the no up with a reason, it allows the person to see the thought process used to get the "no" answer #MNLead
A4. Not usually. Especially since I usually have a well grounded why behind my saying No. I am hesitant (not sure if it is guilt though) to say No to something that comes from a superior, but I stand my ground if it's not what's best for kids. #MNLead
I don't feel we need to explain ourselves...but a conversation following the "no" is usually appropriate and generally highly viewed by the other.
#mnlead
A4.2 On the other hand, I understand that part of leadership is to say “no” to some things in order to intentionally pursue our organization’s mission. #mnlead
This is an important point…some decisions will disappoint others. However, if decision-making is transparent and based on the organization’s values, it will be respected. #mnlead
A4: Yeah, sometimes. But I tend to follow it up with some rationale or another plan to accomplish the outcome? Remember Harry Truman Yeah, sometimes that has to happen. #mnlead
A4: I used to feel so guilty when I said no, until I couldn't breathe. I had to learn when I was at capacity. I had to learn that when I said yes, something had to go to make room for that yes. And that meant a NO. It's tough but important! #mnlead
This is an important point…some decisions will disappoint others. However, if decision-making is transparent and based on the organization’s values, it will be respected. #mnlead
Further, when a positive relationship with the stakeholder is already established, we can more easily see eye-to-eye after a “no”. There’s merit behind it. #MNLead
A5: My wife is an excellent example for me... She has the family mission at heart all the time and can stop this loose cannon with a very simple word, NO! #mnlead
A5. A good model on how to say no to me would be Churchill, his no was both in word and action, as he explained why he wouldn't allow Hitler to expand more, and followed it up with action #MNLead
A5 - Two of my co-workers model how to say no. One is my co-teacher and one is my teammate. They show me when to say no and how to professional decline something. It shows me that I don't have to do everything. #MNLead
A5) I had someone ask me to do something I really didn't have time for...she saw me struggling with how to answer and said "I value your no as much as much as your yes, just do what is best for you"...I try to remember that now when I know I should say no to something. #mnlead
I strongly recommend the book Essentialism by @GregoryMcKeown. It is a fantastic expansion on tonight’s #mnlead chat. We keep learning how we can apply this to K-12 education.
A5 I can't say I can think of specific people, but what I can think of is knowing a wide variety of people who know how to prioritize and manage their lives in ways that inspire me to do that as well. But believe me, I'm still learning and growing myself. #MNLead
A5: Anyone that loves and cares about me and see situations without the emotion that an insider would have on a situation. My husband is great at this. Models no with reason and sound mind. #mnlead
A5 I have to say my wife has helped me over all these years. I am a yes man. I love saying yes, but she pays for it. I may overcommit to things that take away from our time. I've learned saying no to some professional opportunities keeps my home life happy. #mnlead
A5: My oldest daughter, actually. As parents we often want the world for our children and push them to try a bit of everything. It is pretty rewarding to see someone find a good work flow for themselves. Something I can learn from. #mnlead
A5: Actually, two of my teachers are very good at this for a few reasons...
@hvericastilla because she keeps me in check with my crazy ideas
@gladysagreen because she shows how you can use it with parents who are being unreasonable!
#mnlead
This is an important point…some decisions will disappoint others. However, if decision-making is transparent and based on the organization’s values, it will be respected. #mnlead
Awesome take, @chris_bussmann. It has been fun to watch our children make choices and say “no” to some opportunities in order to focus on their priorities. We must be doing something right! #mnlead
A5: My oldest daughter, actually. As parents we often want the world for our children and push them to try a bit of everything. It is pretty rewarding to see someone find a good work flow for themselves. Something I can learn from. #mnlead
A6: While I am still searching for it, "no" helps achieve balance...in my life, with my family, and with my health...it just took me 42 years to finally figure that out!
#mnlead
A6) I brought this up in one of the earlier questions, saying "no" sets boundaries. People (students alike) like and need boundaries. it helps the classroom run smoothly #EDU5720#mnlead
Just had an "Ah-Ha" moment for myself. For me, is by far harder to tell myself No to things than it is to tell anyone else No. I may not feel guiltly about saying no to others, but saying no to myself can be hard. #MNLead
A6: One of the most important people to say No to is myself... When my negative self talk gets going about stalling a project or taking on a big problem I need to tell my self NO more stalling buddy... kids are waiting for my courage! #mnlead
Saying no is important because there is NO way you can do all the things, NO way you can give your best to everything, and NO way that everything you are asked is good for you and or the people you serve #mnlead
A6) For our mental health! We cannot do everything. If we are overextended then we are not really giving our best to our students, coworkers, and families. #mnlead
A6: Saying "no" for the right reasons demonstrates reflectiveness, leadership, focus, balance, understanding, and a commitment to the strategic intent. You can't be everything to everyone and going after everything will get you nowhere. #mnlead
A6 I have to remind myself that I have to say no because I cannot be everything to everyone all is the time. Sometimes the answer has to be no. #mnlead
A6: we have to learn to say “no” because every “yes” takes time away from “self” and if we’re not careful, there will be no time left to recover from all of the “yeses” #MNLead
A6: it’s critical to know what we stand for and what we will allow - if we can’t be definitive sometimes, people will be left wondering what/who they are going to get, and that can create inconsistency and frustration #MNLead
Thx @PrincipalFrench and #MNLead for a fun chat. I need to leave early. Time for dinner w/ my family... and who wants to say No to that? Not me! 😉🍝 Have a great week!
A6 I only use no if that is the only option and that I would never do what is asked. I say "not now" or "not at this time" if I am fully booked and cannot do an awesome job on something. #mnlead
A6: Saying no helps to achieve balance. Actually talking about it, like we are now, brings it back in front of my face so I don’t get lost again and get out of balance. #mnlead
A6 - I am learning that it is important to say no when I am overwhelmed with things. I am currently tutoring 5 days a week, taking 2 graduate courses, teaching, and exercising daily. This means I need to say no to put my needs and other responsibilities first. #MNLead
A6: We simply can't do it all. Nor should we want to. When we delegate and get others to join us, when we move from me to WE, then we'll be better, stronger, more able to success! #mnlead#selfcare
Love this idea. No is not a bad idea. When the No is explained and aligned with core beliefs, it shows leadership and the ability to make difficult decisions. #mnlead
Thanks to @PrincipalFrench for leading this important discussion tonight. We don’t say “no” just to say “no.” We say “no” so we can say “yes” to the things that have a more substantial impact! #mnlead
If we ALWAYS put kids first, when do we put ourselves first, or think of what is best for ourselves, then we lose the ability to do what kids need, the ability to do our best for them. There needs to be balance #mnlead
In reply to
@NathalieR71, @Mr_McHugh20, @77woodhouse77
@PrincipalFrench is one of my heroes. He is the model of positivity. I loved your flag hanging tweet this week. You say "yes" to so many wonderful things. Thank you for leading #mnlead tonight!
With everything we are saying tonight I think it's important to really think about all of this, and keep it in perspective when our students say NO to us. It's important for us to find out the reasons why they are saying no.Because just like us,they probably have a reason #MNLead
Some of the weakest leaders I know just say yes all the time. Some of the best leaders I know say No, regularly, but in ways that allow individuals to continue to grow. #mnlead
Thanks! :) Honestly, during the whole past hour, I've been singing some of these songs in my head. Figured I should get some others doing the same thing! :) #MNLead
Very thought provoking #MNLead chat tonight led by @PrincipalFrench -- making sure the kids got to bed kept me from participating. Although, I do find myself saying no a lot with a 1 and 3 year old:)
