#RuralEdChat is a chat that focuses on the needs of the rural educator. This chat has been revised by Tammy Neil (@MathNeil), John Martin (@edventures) and Natalee Stotz (@nataleestotz).
Hi there #RuralEdChat fam. Robin joining @TG_Neil from the moderator team. Tuning in from WI where it's over 90 right now and feels like summer even though the kids still have a week to go!
Tonight we are talking about the adult relationships at school. We will be using a Q1/A1 format unless a full conversation breaks out. Don't forget to add #RuralEdChat so we can all share your brilliance.
Hmm....I've experienced the adult clique phenomenon and own that I've been swept into them without realizing how hurtfully they operated. They are powerful forces we all need to address in our workplaces. #RuralEdChat
** Q1 **
The relationships between adults of a school play a large role in the school culture. Describe a situation where positive relationships have made positive changes. #RuralEdChat
Tonight we are talking about the adult relationships at school. We will be using a Q1/A1 format unless a full conversation breaks out. Don't forget to add #RuralEdChat so we can all share your brilliance.
A1: I have a positive relationship with admin. Having that trust allows me to try new things, allows me to share honestly and this has a positive impact in my class. #ruraledchat
A1: Cooperative teaching and integrating with colleagues. Gives me a deeper respect for their talents and interests outside of classroom. 👍🏻#RuralEdChat
A1: Also, have a team mate who I have a wonderful relationship with. We can celebrate, grumble a little, and share A LOT. Love going to work. #ruraledchat
I'm thinking of a time where a small team I was on had some heart to hearts about our teaching styles and finally found the value and respect for our differences. A sense of ease &support finally became our mode. Prior to that we were always critical in subtle ways. #RuralEdChat
** Q1 **
The relationships between adults of a school play a large role in the school culture. Describe a situation where positive relationships have made positive changes. #RuralEdChat
** Q1 **
The relationships between adults of a school play a large role in the school culture. Describe a situation where positive relationships have made positive changes. #RuralEdChat
"stormin', normin' and formin'" or something like that, right? At any rate, it was deeply transformative for us to take responsibility for our critical selves and then move forward with curiosity. I miss those folks immensely. #RuralEdChat
A2: Within our wing, several staff would openly complain in front of students - sometimes about students. I eventually retreated to my room, making it a safe place for students.
#RuralEdChat
A2: I have had someone who did not handle it well when anyone else celebrated success. Seemed to always deliver a cut to it. Changed our relationship. Very tense. #ruraledchat
A2: Within our wing, several staff would openly complain in front of students - sometimes about students. I eventually retreated to my room, making it a safe place for students.
#RuralEdChat
A2 Oof. I want to be vulnerable & share honestly w/this community. There was a time I didn't stand up for myself or create firm boundaries, & I experienced a colleague using that to their advantage in trying to always get things done their way. I felt voiceless&used. #RuralEdChat
I keep wanting 2 hand out "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team" by Patrick Lencioni 2 people on my union's exec board. #ruraledchat Also, because I used 2B a corp trainer in a former life, every1 around here has 2 listen 2 me ask people not 2 firehose ideas when we R brainstorming.
A2 Had terrible relationship with an ELA teacher. It caused me anxiety and worse, nearly every day. I avoided walking down that hallway. Hurt my mood and work immensely. #RuralEdChat
** Q3 **
Team building is an important step in changing school culture. What can a school do to make sure the teams don't turn into cliques that exclude others?
#RuralEdChat
A2 Oof. I want to be vulnerable & share honestly w/this community. There was a time I didn't stand up for myself or create firm boundaries, & I experienced a colleague using that to their advantage in trying to always get things done their way. I felt voiceless&used. #RuralEdChat
Thanks, Terry. I've grown so much. Spent the last 9 months in a psychology of relationships course that really helped me reframe a bunch of things around leaning into conflict and standing in personal truths, needs and boundaries. Huge growth! #RuralEdChat
Some say cliques, others say tight circle of friends. Either way, it's tough when you are the outsider looking in (and eating by yourself). #RuralEdChat
A3: Perception here is a problem. At times closeness in a team can make it appear as a clique. We need to be careful what we judge as a "clique" #ruraledchat
But OH! does it happen so swiftly and often. I think we need to take a very hard look at this aspect of our adult relationships in our schools and mine deeper for impact and growth. Adults do not have it all figured out by a long shot, right?? #RuralEdChat
Some say cliques, others say tight circle of friends. Either way, it's tough when you are the outsider looking in (and eating by yourself). #RuralEdChat
Very true. However, if a new comer is added to the team but left out of conversations because they "just don't fit in" at lunch, break, etc. then it becomes a problem. #RuralEdChat
Deep exhale hearing about things like this. I recently had a teacher friend tell me that two colleagues "joked" that a seat near them was "taken" when she tried to join them in a casual conversation. Unbelievable but also not on so many levels. #RuralEdChat
Sometimes, but not always. When you hear about a conversation that took place with the other team members at a "painting party" that you weren't invited to, it definitely feels like exclusion. #RuralEdChat
Very true. However, if a new comer is added to the team but left out of conversations because they "just don't fit in" at lunch, break, etc. then it becomes a problem. #RuralEdChat
A3b: However, human nature tends down the road of division/cliques. It takes the willingness to be wrong, be hurt, be embarrassed, willing to compromise to bring unity.
#RuralEdChat
** Q3 **
Team building is an important step in changing school culture. What can a school do to make sure the teams don't turn into cliques that exclude others?
#RuralEdChat
I think that feels a lot differently. When folks need some quiet space vs when folks don't feel like they are a part of things, there are subtle signs. I think it's important to keep inviting people and not take it personally if they need down time at work, too. #ruraledchat
Some say cliques, others say tight circle of friends. Either way, it's tough when you are the outsider looking in (and eating by yourself). #RuralEdChat
Sometimes, but not always. When you hear about a conversation that took place with the other team members at a "painting party" that you weren't invited to, it definitely feels like exclusion. #RuralEdChat
yes yes yes....we absolutely have to get vulnerable and have admin who can shape safe spaces for this kind of collaborative growth to occur in. Super challenging but SO vital. #ruraledchat
** Q4 **
Some schools pride themselves on "professional" relationships where work and home don't mix. How does this support a strong, positive school culture?
#RuralEdChat
A4: Within a rural setting, such “professionalism” does not support a strong, positive school culture. The school is the hub of the community - there is lines of separation.
#RuralEdChat
** Q4 **
Some schools pride themselves on "professional" relationships where work and home don't mix. How does this support a strong, positive school culture?
#RuralEdChat
A4: Within a rural setting, such “professionalism” does not support a strong, positive school culture. The school is the hub of the community - there is lines of separation.
#RuralEdChat
** Q4 **
Some schools pride themselves on "professional" relationships where work and home don't mix. How does this support a strong, positive school culture?
#RuralEdChat
That can offer safety for sure. However, it's neat when there's something staff does together that challenges them to face things on a more deeper &open level. I knew of a staff who participated in volunteer challenges together. They were so tight & also inclusive. #ruraledchat
** Q4 **
Some schools pride themselves on "professional" relationships where work and home don't mix. How does this support a strong, positive school culture?
#RuralEdChat
A4: Within a rural setting, such “professionalism” does not support a strong, positive school culture. The school is the hub of the community - there is lines of separation.
#RuralEdChat
** Q4 **
Some schools pride themselves on "professional" relationships where work and home don't mix. How does this support a strong, positive school culture?
#RuralEdChat
A4: Within a rural setting, such “professionalism” does not support a strong, positive school culture. The school is the hub of the community - there is lines of separation.
#RuralEdChat
** Q4 **
Some schools pride themselves on "professional" relationships where work and home don't mix. How does this support a strong, positive school culture?
#RuralEdChat
Amen! And sometimes, they come to you . . . Like my calculus class did when they decided they needed a cram session - setting it up on my front porch.
Loved it!
#RuralEdChat
A4: Within a rural setting, such “professionalism” does not support a strong, positive school culture. The school is the hub of the community - there is lines of separation.
#RuralEdChat
** Q4 **
Some schools pride themselves on "professional" relationships where work and home don't mix. How does this support a strong, positive school culture?
#RuralEdChat
I've mentioned before that I love our principal. I'm an energetic oddball always trying to reinvent the wheel in whacky ways. She just laughs, gives me her "you do you" look & tells me to go for it. Says she loves my enthusiasm. #ruraledchat
DEWIT! It's 1 of those allegorical business books written as a story. It's also 1 of those books that can become part of your cultural language that you refer back to continuously over the years & even develop a shorthand w/ other people who have read the books. #ruraledchat
Yeah. Definitely. I show up much differently to interactions w/colleagues & students as a result. I think it's relevant any time a person is ready to learn and grow---college & beyond. I don't think we can "do" relationships well w/o diving into what makes them tick. #ruraledchat
See if that looks familiar to you. Absence of trust. Fear of conflict. Lack of commitment. Avoidance of accountability. Inattention to results. Bad habits. #ruraledchat
There is an equally oddball & energetic teacher in my grade at another elem in our district. I know, weird, lightning struck twice. #synergy#ruraledchat
Be and stay curious not furious with their differences and mistakes. Keep inviting. Always, always, always remember what it was like to be the new kid. If you weren't ever the new kid, ask around and get some insight. Lead with love. #ruraledchat
it's a middle ground between chat moderating and just being one of the fam. You can do this, Sharon. We will definitely support you! We love challenging our family members to try on new roles. We pride ourselves with maintaining a campfire-style atmosphere. #ruraledchat
I love that you said "plates spinning." I use this analogy ALL THE TIME because I think it is so apt for the teaching profession, but sometimes I feel I'm in a post-40 pop culture vacuum & people R just smiling & nodding. So, thank you! #ruraledchat
A2: School is too small, any real description leaves me open to possible retaliation. But I have so far been able to work around. But it can be uncomfortable. #ruraledchat
Yes, I am not a part of the social scene outside of school. Kids, husband, distance from home to school, and my own introvertedness keep me apart. #ruraledchat
A gigantic round of applause to @TG_Neil for rounding us up tonight and keeping our conversation going. We have more to talk about these topics for sure. Come visit #ruraledchat again soon?
