Hi, @saratruebridge ! I will be juggling a few things tonight but wanted to check in...I teach K-5 music at @USD409Atchison ...Hope everyone is enjoying a peaceful, relaxing evening. #resiliencechat
I have a daughter. Women in my family have been silent victims of assault. I want a world in which this doesn't happen & if it does, women are supported in attaining justice.
I have 2 sons. I want a world in which men aren't presumed guilty from accusations.
Can I have both?
Honesty is met in several different ways in my experience. It is welcomed when those receiving it are honest with themselves. It is scorned when those receiving it wish to remain in a false narrative. #resiliencechat
A1 - it's tough. While it's what is best - sometimes it's hard to do at the risk of possibly hurting others. I think kindness and heart have to go with it. #resiliencechat
#resiliencechat A2 I have been doing my best to stay off dishonest tracks for years now, ever since I saw the beauty of it. I do get into soups and observe diplomacy but always honest.
Yes, I think there is something to be said about diplomacy and the way something is said or shared that can make some big differences in reactions and consequences. #resiliencechat
A2) I don't ever question whether or not to be honest. It is the appropriate way to live life...Just have to make sure I am tactful and empathic as much as is possible. #resiliencechat
A3 It is sometimes hard for them to navigate the power imbalance in taking to teachers, though we can go a long way toward mitigating that effect.
#resiliencechat
A3) It seems like it can be a struggle for Ss if they are encountering a challenge or are worried about "saving face." It can also be an issue if they see something that they want and are unaware of how to obtain what they want. #resiliencechat
A2 - Sometimes, it's a consideration if the other person truly needs the truth or if it will hurt them more to know whatever it is. Finding a way to be honest tactfully is hard. #resiliencechat
A3: If they see honesty as them getting into trouble. I try to approach Ss w being honest about mistakes is honorable (accountability). #resiliencechat
A3: Students often won't be honest out of fear of getting in trouble at school or at home. They struggle to learn they'll be better off being honest from the start then if they fib and are found out #resiliencechat
Ss live in a "no snitch" culture. The peer pressure to not be a nark/snitch/tattle-tale is extreme. Ts are often complicit in perpetuating this culture. This is wrong and has HUGE social ramifications. The bullies are made comfortable by this policy. #resiliencechat
A4: Home...often Ss are told "don't tell at school" but don't have the maturity to understand why they can't be honest w/ their teacher whom they are supposed to be able to trust #resiliencechat
A4) The environment in which they live...I mean everywhere. They develop their moral understanding of the value of honesty through their interactions at home, community, school and through media. Each of these arenas are impacting our Ss daily. #resiliencechat
A4: Home. No question. What is caught is taught. Ps set the example - are they honest about the simple things? Our children are so heavily influenced by us (parents). #resiliencechat
A4 My inclination is to say home, but it's deeper than that. I took in lessons about being honest and ethical from my dear ol' Daddio that my brothers did not receive. #resiliencechat
A5: have to consider the possible outcomes/feelings/emotions of those to whom the lie would be told. Honesty, in the long run, still seems to be the right path #resiliencechat
A5 I will make every effort to tell a partial truth if I feel full honesty is a bad idea. But I am not good at lying anyway, even if I wanted to, so I very very rarely do. #ResilienceChat
#resiliencechat A5 If the other party cannot vessel my openness effectively, I get stingy about my expressions. More diplomacy than dishonesty. Though they can get inclusive too sometimes. Severity of damage etc
Q6: How are you explaining the course of current events--especially regarding the situation around the Supreme Court nomination-- to your children/students in the context of the value of honesty? #resiliencechat
A5 I might not tell the complete truth depending on to whom I am speaking. Self protection might cause me to draw inward at times when I need support the most. If I feel judged I disappear. #resiliencechat
Matthew, our students deserve to be taught all aspects of history, especially hard history if we are to build resiliency. I recommend you check out @Tolerance_org website, they have great resources for teaching hard history (check their frameworks section) #resiliencechat
In reply to
@Matthew_Poppens, @saratruebridge, @Tolerance_org
A4: This may get a reaction but... parents fib, sugar-coat or lie (whatever you want to call it) to their kids all the time from early on. Sometimes to cushion the truth, sometimes to keep that magical innocence. Touchy - I know, and not sure how I feel about it. #resiliencechat
A6 Honestly, the kids haven't brought it up in class and neither have I.
That said... I was with kids at an outlet mall yesterday, and a vendor grabbed them without permission. I told them that was not okay, and I reported it. So the "believe girls" part is good.
#ResilienceChat
A6 Our Kid Q is finally interested in current events and social justice. Since she is 17, it is easier to discuss these things than previously. #resiliencechat
A3: if they think they will be in trouble, they shy away or omit facts.
I set the bar the first day. I am not a mind reader. You have to tell me the truth. You won't be in trouble but we do need to learn from the situation. #resiliencechat
A3: You see it a lot during play, especially something competitive. Again have to think about where this stems and why. Kids are taught so early that winning makes you the best so & that's something that needs to change. It's ok just to participate! #resiliencechat
A3: When their social emotional standing in their peer group or ability to still be "liked" by the Ts or authority figure is jeopardized. #resiliencechat
A6: I encourage Ss and my own children to develop their own thoughts while engaging in respectful dialogue. Being a good listener is as valuable as a speaker #resiliencechat
A1: There's a sense of relief and internal confirmation that it's the right thing to do even though it can be the most difficult thing to do. #resiliencechat
A6: I think it is interesting how when incidents of boys being sexual abused by the clergy is reported years later everyone listens--why is it different when girls/young women report about being sexually abused by boys/young men years later? #believegirls#resiliencechat
A4: environment could be anywhere...
Peer pressure
home life
Socio economic state and not wanting to admit it (rich or poor)
Living different facts cause reality is too hard. #resiliencechat
A6b: as for current topics, navigating is a challenge but dialogue helps Ss feel as if they are heard. Important lessons for Ss to learn about disagreement #resiliencechat
A5: as I think about this, I hesitate in responding. So...you should always be honest but sometimes you don't need to be directly honest that is harsh but soften the honesty in your tone and approach. #resiliencechat
I don't think that's 100% true. Look at what happened with the Penn State scandal. People didn't want to believe the coverup that occurred. #resiliencechat
Teenage son asks my wife and me great questions about current events. As a P, I want him to have his OWN opinion on matters, not simply follow my lead. Best part of process is the dialogue. Many late nights! #resiliencechat
A6: You'd think by now, in 2018 we wouldn't have to tiptoe around issues that are still "taboo". Let's be honest when we do something wrong, face consequence, learn from it! We have need to save our planet & humans still can't treat each other as such. :( #resiliencechat
A3: Yes, I'm very interested in hearing the responses too! I'm grateful this space is non-judgmental & understands we're humans w/the very best intentions for each other & our children/youth. W/that disclaimer, I used #WhyIDidntReport stories to hold a discussion #resiliencechat
A6: I have a different take. So why not instead of all these movements of me too and lives matter, let's be honest and start a #beaccountable movement? That's really what it boils do to in the end. We can't change the past but we can change the future. #resiliencechat
Clothing is an expression but need to be logical. On that note, I was happy to see that some sports team no longer have cheerleaders. Cheerleading is a skill but you can wear something more professional when you do it. My opinion! #resiliencechat@Browns@EdmontonOilers
In reply to
@MissShuganah, @saratruebridge, @Browns, @EdmontonOilers
A7: continue to strive for honesty and accountability.
If everyone is accountable, then maybe people will start behaving better. Isn't that why laws were originally created? #resiliencechat
Glad to sort of be in #ResilienceChat tonight as I was also in a chat window with an AT&T person about my wife's phone issues and texting with my wife in the process. Hope y'all have a good night and a resilient tomorrow!
If you think it's about clothing then you are missing the point. It's about power. Not sex. Little girls are sexually abused as are little old ladies. Like I said I was modestly dressed every time. #resiliencechat
In reply to
@TMus_Ed, @saratruebridge, @Browns, @EdmontonOilers
Thank you #resiliencechat and @saratruebridge I have deeply missed and enjoyed tonight's chat. Glad I could make it. You all are great at making people think. People need more of that in life. Thank you for a healthy space. Bless you all. 🍉💖
