#LDchat Archive
Understood holds this weekly Twitter chat that aims to keep the momentum going and raise awareness of learning and attention issues. Follow along with hashtag #LDCHAT and follow users @understoodchats & @understoodorg. Experts will be available to answer your questions and concerns and share resources from Understood.org.
Wednesday August 24, 2016
Welcome to today's LD Chat! This is Dan with the Understood team.
We're talking about self-advocacy. Our cohost is author, advocate and Understood writer and expert !
We’re giving away signed copies of Amanda's book. Be sure to follow us and check your DMs tmrw to see if you won!
Happy to talk self-advocacy w/you. I have two kids I'm teaching it to, as well as being an expert writing about it.
Hi Brian. Thanks for joining.
Hello from Iowa, where pretty much the whole state started back at school yesterday!
Hi Jenn! I saw your picture. Looking good!
Hope it's a smooth transition back for you and your kids!
Hi all, from Needham, MA!
Thanks! She loved her first day of Kindergarten!
That's what it looks like here in Maine, too, Aaroon. But not at my desk. ;)
Hi Polly! Have you joined the chat before? Thanks for being here.
We'll use a Q1, Q2… format for questions. Please use the A1, A2… format for answers.
Today is the first day for my boys. Fingers crossed X
First question coming up...
Megan from Wisconsin joining for the first time
Always great too "see" you, :-)
Greetings from lovely Turlock, CA!
Luckily/unfortunately I don't have a job at the moment, so this is my view from home :)
Marvin, I never knew where you were based. Now I do. ;)
And don't forget to use with your tweets!
Q1. What does self-advocacy look like?
A1:(1/3) Ooh, starting tough! Self-advocacy can look diff for every kid. It can be speaking up about having an issue.
Afternoon from a soon to be stormy Atlanta!
(2/3) It can be asking for help. It can mean going to or 504 meetings or learning more about own strengths & needs.
A1 Can look like ids asking for help when they need it.
A1: (3/3) Self-advocacy can also be asking for accommodations & explaining issues to other people.
It starts by making connections and speaking about your own needs and accommodations to new allies
Glad you're here. Keep safe and chatty. :)
A1 Standing up for what you know you need, even if others don't see/agree with it.
A1: Standing up for what you need in a productive manner
A1: Self-advocacy is a process, too: 8 Steps for Helping Third and Fourth Graders Become Self-Advocates https://t.co/O1Ehn307QO
A1. The confidence and ability to ask for help
A1: I see self-advocacy in the students coming to my office because they think they might need help.
https://t.co/mcA4AqOmSc
Q1. What does self-advocacy look like?
Love the word "productive" in there. That's so important.
A1: The ability to communicate what you need, when you need it, and to whom can help you meet the need
How do you instill that confidence, do you think?
A1: Self-advocacy starts with awareness of one's strengths, as well as challenges
Can't just stomp and scream to get what you want :)
A1. An awareness of personal strengths and weaknesses
Definitely agree. It's hard to speak up about what you need help with if you don't know how you CAN do it.
A1 Being confident in yourself and your abilities, and realizing when you need extra help and not be afriad to ask for help.
BUT I WANT TO!! (kidding)
A1 asking for help in a way that makes people want to help you, as my boss would say.
Phew! That's a lot, right? It can be overwhelming for parents and kids.
A1. Self-advocacy is a skill that needs to be taught and modeled in school and at home!
That's an interesting take on it.
Q2. Are there downsides to teaching your child to self-advocate?
You catch more flies with honey than vinegar
That's an interesting point. What does that look like, do you think? (I'm genuinely curious)
A2 (1/2) I wouldn't say downsides, but it's important to practice appropriate ways & times to self-advocate.
A2 They might think that they deserve EVERYTING. Important to know the difference between need and want.
A2: (2/2) Some kids need more coaching on the nuances of tone to use, when to ask for a private moment to talk, etc.
Exactly what I was thinking.
A2: It's HARD, tedious, and frustrating!
RT : A2 They might think that they deserve EVERYTHING. Important to know the difference between need and want.
A1: Self-advocacy is self-awareness of skills, needs, rights and responsibilities - and knowing how to access help.
A2 Some people might thing that SA works all the time. Need to realize that it might not always work out, but to keep at it!
it all begins at home, and I believe it must be reinforced as much as possible. Kids in K can start in small ways!
Yes, it is. I know I feel frustrated sometimes as an adult. RT : A2: It's HARD, tedious, and frustrating!
What do you think are the hardest parts of teaching your kids to self-advocate?
We've been teaching our boys self-advocacy since the time they could talk. They have &
For sure. Giving kids choices and the ability to have a say at home is a good start and model.
A2 a caution that self-advocacy does not turn into entitlement
Mine have those issues, too. And we've been doing the same. It's a big part of our daily lives!
A2: She may begin questioning your parenting ;) and asking for accommodations at the dinner table.
Exactly, I seen kids believe that they get what they want whenever. Not exactly how it works ;)
A2: I think it could present a challenge if you get stuck in a certain mindset and struggle to try new things.
A2: If they mistakenly learn, that self advocacy is adversarial then it can cause problems.
Yes! Self-advocacy is speaking up for what you need, not shouting about what you deserve and want. Mutual respect
Sometimes, as adults we forget who we're teaching to advocate. Add in LD or ADHD, and it's even harder.
A2. It can be hard to discuss areas of weakness, but it is so important! Self-advocacy is a life skill
A2: I'm reading answers & considering that the answer extends beyond many boundaries.
A2: Need a healthy balance between drawing upon strengths and growing your toolbox
That's definitely an issue with my child who has trouble w/flexible thinking. We need to role-play situations.
A2: It's important to be clear on the what, when, where, why and how to advocate -
in my work w/ successful college & grad students w/ LD, SA was huge factor
Have you followed us on Twitter? Be sure to do that for a chance to win a signed copy of Amanda's book!
Making it part of your family culture is key. No mind reading, speak up :-)
A2: We need to keep age and development in mind and coach from there. My 5yo needs different from my job description
yes! So essential before they head off to college
Ha! I say that all the time. "I can't read your mind, you need to tell me what you're thinking."
A2 - I knew a parent who allowed her son to lead the IEP discussion & he "undid" all the all services she'd advocated for
there are other things that impact this too. Cultural & gender factors to say the least. (1/2)
Q3. How do you respond if your child says it's not worth self-advocating because the teacher won't listen?
Thanks, Marvin. You're so right.
Oh my goodness. Was that a good thing or a bad thing? Did he need them?
A3: (1/2) Acknowledge that feeling & offer to help. "What, specifically, are you worried will happen?"
Yes! Culture/gender big factors in SA
(2/2) Those influences can shape how self-advocacy is seen overall & how it's taught & received.
A3: (2/2) You can also role-play scenarios. And you can offer to go w/your child to talk to the teacher.
A3: We role-play, come up w/ strategies, and if they need it, I give them increasing support.
A3 role play with the child, rehearse talking to the teacher, model asking polite questions
Agree. It brings about greater self awareness. https://t.co/WRkrNzI5Gm
A2. It can be hard to discuss areas of weakness, but it is so important! Self-advocacy is a life skill
A3. Try to appreciate that there is often anxiety associated with self advocacy for some kids
- Sadly he did, but he didn't think he did. This is why being clear with teaching self-advocacy is so important
I so agree. Some cultures think it's being disrespectful and we need to be sensitive to that
A3: On occasion, I'll provide a mediation support between the two people.
A3 We've done role play with students with how they think the situation will happen, helps relieve some anxiety.
A3: This dips it's toe in the idea I brought up last question. There can be other factors with influence.
https://t.co/MGNna4fSeu
Q3. How do you respond if your child says it's not worth self-advocating because the teacher won't listen?
A3: Then involve the teacher to establish agreements on how s/he will respond in order to support your child
I also think there are those marginalized people who may feel it's not worth it because of how they've been treated.
A3 sometimes writing a letter to teacher can help (dictation for younger child)
Mediation between whom? (I may have missed an answer. They're zooming in!)
A3 Always be willing to help your child as well. Don't advocate for your child, but do be aware that some teachers are not the best.
A3 Let your child know that you'll be there for them if there SA doesn't work. I know my folks were there when I needed it!
Very true. How do we handle these situations?
Mediation between the self-advocate and the person their advocating from.
It sometimes helps to prepare the teacher that your child is going to be self-advocating. Or to have other ally @ school.
A3 lots of scar tissue can develop for students for all kinds of reasons b/c of marginalization/
A3. Patience, modeling, and, examples of how self advocacy worked for you as a student
We don't assume everyone has the same experience for starters. We need to consider the whole picture.
You're ROCKIN the handouts Amanda. Thank you
Yes that's a great idea. I love meeting with teachers before the school year. Help come up with a game plan together
Don't assume to know what people are thinking, feeling, have experience. Let them tell you.
Last question coming up...
Thanks, Brian! I love writing them and love that people enjoy them. :)
Q4. Should you teach kids to self-advocate if they're shy or not comfortable doing it?
Absolutely it can, & that needs to be considered & valued in terms of impact on the whole student.
A4: We shouldn't force kids into doing it if they're not comfortable, but keep practicing & modeling advocacy.
A3 -Ask to meet to discuss how discussions about self-advocacy can take place in the classroom.
A4: YES. Take little steps, start small, and celebrate the small victories.
A4: Have to help them learn in increments and celebrate every little success in self-advocacy.
A4 Oof, don't force them, however be aware that SA is important for all aspects in life, especially in the future.
Love this collection of self-advocacy sentence starters for kids w/various learning and attention issues https://t.co/4ZU3gMT0L6
Absolutely! The comfort muscle comes with use, practice and persistence.
A4 Self-advocacy can be a skill that develops over time, scaffolding by allies can help = life skill
A4: Yes, but in a way that reaches & respects them.
https://t.co/P3u2Hz0E0p
Q4. Should you teach kids to self-advocate if they're shy or not comfortable doing it?
Heh, we think alike. I think I just tweeted something very similar.
Q4: Absolutely. Encourage them to use methods like texting, email & colored cards.
A4 Sometimes the shy ones are the ones who need it the most. Again don't make it a painful process, take it easy and encourage.
A4. Such a tough one. Anxiety for some 'shy' students is real. It needs to be balanced with push for advocacy
A4- Absolutely! Practicing with role playing and providing clear examples of what to say and do in various situations and settings
A4 I've seen SA cards so that students don't have to speak to the teacher Make the card @ home then simply hand it to teachers.
I wrote about this b/c my lil one is very shy: 10 Ways to Teach Shy Children to Self-Advocate
https://t.co/EMHG2JHNuA
Love it, there are so many different ways to SA than speaking. Find what works for them!
You're right, and there are ways to help, such as writing out their "talking points" or practicing to reduce it.
oooh, I may bring this idea back to the editorial team...
Any final thoughts before we wrap up?
Perfect.
https://t.co/gMDTPoxzbE
A4 Sometimes the shy ones are the ones who need it the most. Again don't make it a painful process, take it easy and encourage.
AMEN my friend. Resourcefulness is a must for our community
There's so much good information here! You all have really taught me a bunch today. Thank you!
