#gtchat Archive
Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT is a weekly chat on Twitter that takes place on Thursdays at 8 p.m. ET/7 p.m. CT and 5 p.m. PT in the U.S. For one hour, parents, educators, advocates and experts in the field of gifted and talented gather to share resources, links, authentic life experiences and insights about gifted issues.
Tuesday May 24, 2016
Welcome to Global Gifted and Talented Chat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted & Talented
Our topic today is “The Strong-Willed Gifted Child”
Before we begin, please tell us where you’re from and introduce yourself!
I’m Lisa Conrad ~ moderator, advocate, presenter, blogger & mother of 2 gifted young adults from Pittsburgh, PA.
Peter here. with a PhD. ? That's me! I wrote a book: Screwed up somehow but not stupid: Life with a Learning disability
Jen in HOT N IL :). Mom to 2 . Writer/blogger/flutist/homeschooler. I know strong-willed boys; that’s why there’s wine.
Hi Jo Freitag from Gifted Resources and Sprite's Site Victoria Australia here on Wednesday at 10.00 am for
And oh boy was I a strong willed gifted child!
Hi, Jen! It pleasantly warm here today!
kids are a handful. I sure was
My younger bro was the strong-willed kid, me not so much. So OF COURSE I have an incredibly SW kid. Better now at 15, but sheesh.
I had 'legend' status in my family! They didn't call it 'strong-willed' either. ;)
As a reminder, we use a Q1/Q2 format for questions & A1/A2 for answers during
I'm Cindy, tweeting for Frisco Gifted. I'm the mom of a 14 year old strong-willed, amazing GT child. I'm also a strong-willed GT mom.
If joining via Twitter, remember to add the hashtag to each tweet.
lurking is foreign to my nature
Hey, Lisa! I'm Pamela Price from Texas!
Candace a GT specialist from the DFW area here!
A1 A SW gifted child is a kid who has at least one area of giftedness and also is strong willed
A1 A SW kid: knows their mind NO MATTER WHAT. Can’t negotiate, can’t motivate. They are MORE of everything.
A1) I think of a strong willed gifted kid as being lively, spirited, often highly focussed and always incredibly determined
A1) Strong-willed gifted children can appear intensely oppositional and fail to respond to traditional behavior interventions.
Also, a SW kid doesn't compromise easily, if at all, and will take the consequences (even if not willingly)
A1) They are focused, forceful, and authentic spirits who set out to influence the world around them from get go
A1 A SW kid is a PITA to parent as a youngun but since knows his mind, peer pressure isn’t as influential.
A1) At times inwardly obstinate, opinionated, needs to know why? & to be provided with a logical and rational reason to comply
Q1) The strong willed child sees can't as a challenge and an opportunity for a great debate. https://t.co/TeTIY0v4b6
A1) Strong-willed gifted children are characterized as uncooperative, stubborn, defiant, rebellious and arrogant
A1 But a SW kid MUST learn that NO MEANS NO bc if not, as a teen can lead to bad situations. NO isn’t a challenge, it means NO.
Q1) The strong willed child sees "can't" as a challenge and a "no" as an opportunity for a great debate. https://t.co/PAUbROdElz
A1 SW kids are often less influenced by peers. That can be good and bad.
A1) Strong-willed gifted children can also be thought of as passionate, idealistic, and emotionally intense.
A1) The strong-willed GIFTED child doesn't give two cents about the playbook. Or the parenting book. Or that blog post you read.
"History has a way of showing that the most stubborn are the most intelligent" - Yevgeny Yevtushenko
A1) Due to asynchronous development, gifted children may have a deep understanding of a problem but lack ability to deal with it.
A1)SW gifted child can be confident, determined, fearless, and impatient with others
THIS. Infinity this. Doesn't know, doesn't care. https://t.co/3ui85pF40K
A1) The strong-willed GIFTED child doesn't give two cents about the playbook. Or the parenting book. Or that blog post you read.
A1) My strong-willed child is not a follower. He leads, whether anyone else follows or not. He sticks to his guns.
A1) Strong-willed children are opportunities for grown-ups to up their game and move beyond cookie cutter solutions. Growth for ALL.
Or, for that matter, the one you wrote. LOL.
Hi, Emily, G adult w/ at least 1 G kid (non-identified). I'm mostly lurking today 😊
And the strong willed child may not even know there IS a playbook!
A1 SW kids give parents the opportunity to be creative! Bright side! We discover new wines we like!
HA! No handbook for my kid, so I wrote it. STILL DOESN’T APPLY! ;)
Yea! https://t.co/5CIrW2q2JP
A1 SW kids give parents the opportunity to be creative! Bright side! We discover new wines we like!
The SW child is unafraid of a challenge or a confrontation. They are driven and not easily deterred.
A2 Because GT kids scare and puzzle a lot of adults.
A2) Because *some* professionals gravitate to easy solutions, strategies. Not many GT/2E kids so easy to default to script
A2) Many characteristics of giftedness may appear similar to mental health and few professionals have training in gifted issues.
A2 and the profoundly gifted aren't just more advanced, they are on a different path
A2 Bc it’s easier to come up w/an ODD/ADHD dx & medicate. can HAVE those too, but shouldn’t be a 1st step.
A2) Strong will gifted children challenge insecure adults that lack self awareness, lack of understanding, lack of flexibility of Ts
THIS. https://t.co/fbR6hocbTx
A2) Strong will gifted children challenge insecure adults that lack self awareness, lack of understanding, lack of flexibility of Ts
A2) Misdiagnosis can lead to inappropriate and ineffectual treatments which make matters worse.
A2 E.g. I once told a teacher "I don't have to listen to you because I am smarter than you are"
Not all SW kids are gifted. But some are
Yikes! How did that go over?
A2) Savvy professionals use diagnostic terms to advance to solutions, strategies but know that each kid is own distinct creature
Not well. :-). Esp. because it was true. (I was once on detention from 4 teachers in one day)
A2) because of a fundamental misunderstanding of the behaviour on the part of the parents.
A2 is still so misunderstood. I can solve quadratic equations but I can't make the bed.
A2. Throw in generational gaps with older teachers set in their ways and it's like oil and water.
Q3) Why don’t typical behavior strategies (time outs, losing recess) usually work with gifted children? https://t.co/5k7Gz4S8KV
sorry I didn't introduce myself earlier. Hi from NC!
A2) Misdiagnosis often leads to over identification in SPED, often categorized as ED or oppositionally defiant 😬
Well, I didn't even WANT recess. I wanted to sit and read
A3) Hard to say because it varies by kid.
A3 SW G2e kids just don’t care. Their minds/thoughts are the most interesting thing around, so taking stuff away? Pfft.
A3 Well, I didn't even WANT recess. I wanted to sit and read
A3) I mean, I think some kids are NLD or SPED, too, but others are also tiny lawyers and others? They just don't care.
Q2) Strong-willed children are misunderstood by adults & misdiagnosed b/c they refuse to get into any box! https://t.co/zDd6Km5cne
A3 At least that was the case w/my kid. STILL don’t have an answer to what motivates him. He’s 15 & motivations change daily.
gifted children see punitive punishment as a frustration and waste of time.
What box? I didn't see any box!
A3 Though I will say that sleep & food are pretty high up on the list. But teen boy. Not surprised.
My sons just climb on the box to get to their goals. LOL!
A3 Also, punishment can seem like a challenge to a SW kid. Makes them MORE SW, if anything
A3) Typical behavior strategies don’t work b/c the underlying causes for the behavior are atypical for their age.
A2) Many characteristics of gifted children are similar to other conditions and can easily be misdiagnosed if not understood
Yup. Can be older or younger, but not what one would "expect." https://t.co/zOGUUfAKKf
A3) Typical behavior strategies don’t work b/c the underlying causes for the behavior are atypical for their age.
I always say that my GT strong-willed son argues the box factory exists only in the minds of those who don't see possibility.
A3) Perhaps asynchronous development is a factor! Traditional techniques may be viewed as contrived and childish
Exactly! https://t.co/mPSse37CTC
A2) Many characteristics of gifted children are similar to other conditions and can easily be misdiagnosed if not understood
A3 What other kids saw as punishment I often saw as reward.
A3) A gifted child’s refusal to comply is often the result of deeply held yet inconsistent beliefs and feelings of injustice.
A3) Often times they have kept an accurate record of inconsistencies i.e. fairness or have rationalized their actions.
And, honestly, sometimes they are RIGHT. https://t.co/O8zTvVqMTm
A3) A gifted child’s refusal to comply is often the result of deeply held yet inconsistent beliefs and feelings of injustice.
A2 it is often because of a lack of understanding of giftedness. I also think the intensity of aGT L can be unsettling.
A3) Punishments and consequences don't work for GT strong-willed children because you can't take their imagination away from them.
Not always inconsistent. I think kids tend to be MORE consistent than adults
A1) My SW gifted child knows her own mind, does not blindly follow others, is serious, focused, and a challenge to parent.
A3 these are often extrinsic motivations or consequences, but GT learners are typically intrinsically motivated.
I got to spend a lot of time with the guidance counselor after my lecture from the principal ....
A3 Many GT SW kids have highly CONSISTENT beliefs. This drives many adults up the wall
A3) Gifted children are usually intrinsically motivated and bribes /punishments do NOT influence their behaviour
We’re already half way through our chat! Thanks for all the great sharing.
A3 Pointing out that adults are being inconsistent is something I did a lot
And, let's face it, a lot of adults engage in inconsistent beliefs. G2E will CALL that out in words or behavior.
Another thing that can drive adults crazy! https://t.co/qRo6hxoUKH
A3) Gifted children are usually intrinsically motivated and bribes /punishments do NOT influence their behaviour
Alternatively, "give inch and take mile" if they figure out how to play game.
*tiptoes in late to , was reading Harry Potter to the kid and things ran way longer than I had expected*
oh goodness, THE QUESTIONING. So much questioning/negotiation attempted every day.
Oh GOD I hate that game. Makes us feel like Mean Parents ALL the time. https://t.co/v3fwUfJlFq
Alternatively, "give inch and take mile" if they figure out how to play game.
Q4) What info could be shared w/teachers to help them understand this behavior as it relates to giftedness? https://t.co/bypsVksQHL
Anytime the subject of strong-will comes up, I think of a poem from my elementary social studies book. https://t.co/UWZfmtCghn
A3) Gifted children may have very strongly held inner convictions that will not be swayed by typical measures
A4 Ok. Sigh. Voice of experience here. Does it matter what we share w/teachers if it’s ignored? :(
Bad news: My kid has damn near no currency. Good News: Among the few things that work as currency? Three Wiki searches a day
Can we not come up with better name than gifted & talented? I teach plenty of students who are gifted & talented but not labeled so
A4) Know your audience and do homework. Get a read on what works with a teacher FIRST then come up with approach.
A4) Plutarch "A mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled". GT minds are blazing infernos. Feed the fire
asynchronous development can cause younger gifted to not be sure of the whys. Not true for old children.
And anytime likes my tweet, I feel like I've nailed it! 😊
A4) Ts should be aware of the antecedents that may cause certain undesirable behaviors to occur & ensure they aren't triggering
Irony: A on SW children & I’m currently battling w/SW children being annoying teen/tween male siblings. Grrrr...
A4 Don't be afraid to admit that the kid may know more than you do. That's OK
A4) Few teachers have a background in gifted education; basic information is a good place to start.
Can you engage their brains to solve their own annoying behavior?
*sheepishly raises hand* The only time I 'acted out' as a kid was to protest things that made no logical sense
A4) Let Ts know hey can create spaces in their classroom for Ss to exercise voice, choice, & provide clear boundaries.
A4) Honestly a teacher who doesn't get that strong-Will's can be moulded into great leadership skills may be in the wrong career???
LOL! Not in the thick of it. One ate the last popsicle & they both have to put away laundry & it’s hot. Crabby boys.
Living W/Intensity: Understanding Sensitivity, Excitability, Emotional Developmt of Gifted Children (Amazon) https://t.co/sclcauUxJQ
A4) If an educator has insight on a certain L and can share that and give the teacher tips and strategies that work for that L.
A4) When/IF you find a great solution share it with the teacher and hope they will implement it too
A4) Teachers need to know that gifted students don’t always know what they are good at; guidance may be needed.
Putting away laundry can be an exercise in physics.
A4) Some parents hit teacher w/ ALL info right away. Prioritize BIG triggers but let relationship develop. You might be surprised.
I am glad that my DH and I are virtually always on the same page, without having to think about it beforehand
Gonna be an exercise in who gets tech time tomorrow. LOL!
A4) Let Ts know they can create spaces in their classroom for Ss to exercise voice, choice, & provide clear boundaries.
I think that parenting style has a TON do with effective/ineffective parenting of these kids
My strong will despises auto-correct that makes my statements INcorrect. 😡
Q5) What is scaffolding and how could it be applied to helping gifted children deal with their emotions? https://t.co/1JvZUust4i
I love it when I can manage that on the fly. It's like solving a tough Sudoku
A5) Scaffolding is a way to provide positive, but temporary support to a child during an emotional impasse.
A5) Scaffolding is my favorite term. REALLY. It works in so many ways--home, school, socio-emotional situations.
I tell my Ps that as the GT specialist leverage me to work with the T and help bridge gaps of misunderstanding.
A5) Scaffolding is the "Goldilocks" (not too much, not too little, just right) of support AND challenge to facilitate growth but....
A5) ... where people blow it is forgetting to take the scaffold back down. Or failing to change it. That's something else then.
Yeah, authoritarian style parenting is just plain not gonna work in most cases + will actually make things worse
A5) Scaffolding can foster emotional growth as it leads to a +, non-argumentative resolution of behavior issues. (Malonai 2016)
A5) Provide Ss w/ the language to identify emotions, support to understand triggers, & strategies to cope in a healthy manner
A5 You ever planted a wee little tree? You have to have those supports so it can grow straight & strong. Scaffolding is like that.
A3) If my daughter thinks a rule/limitation I give her is illogical, then she won't follow it. My arguments do not sway her.
A5 The trick is to know WHEN to gently remove the scaffolding. Too early & the tree can’t grow. Too late & it’s too dependent.
Great way of explaining it! https://t.co/2o3ZeNNX8B
A5 You ever planted a wee little tree? You have to have those supports so it can grow straight & strong. Scaffolding is like that.
Yeah, but it can be tough figuring out where the 'building' is, sometimes. Also? The 'building' occasionally moves
A5) Scaffolding gives control back to the student, really. It lets them choose how to best express what they know & explore beyond.
A5) Scaffolding is very important in relationships, especially to keep intense kids from running others down and becoming aggressive
I got tired of hearing from teachers/school how my SW 2e teenager just needed to learn how to conform to be successful as an adult.
A5) Scaffolding with gifted children promotes self-esteem &self-efficacy w/long-term impact on reducing neg behavior. (Malonai 2016)
A5) scaffolding means building/providing support measures. These emotional supports are often needed for GT Ls more so than peers.
So you have to outlawyer lawschoolkid? I know that feeling
Ugh ... unfortunately. it's too often about compliance and conformity. https://t.co/KytCCvkKd6
I got tired of hearing from teachers/school how my SW 2e teenager just needed to learn how to conform to be successful as an adult.
The most successful adults do NOT conform. Adulthood is about standing out, not fitting in
Well said! https://t.co/ZUhsWnUZnv
The most successful adults do NOT conform. Adulthood is about standing out, not fitting in
I dunno about that. I think it's a balance between the two.
OMG - checking in late... Haven't seen seen any questions but am excited about retweeting all the great answers!!
A5) Scaffolding is one way to begin w/ the end in mind. Gradually releasing supports to foster independence, & self-determination
Q6) What positive steps can parents & teachers take to help strong-willed gifted children thrive? https://t.co/9QaAEkangC
A5) Parental scaffolding can help kids/adults see stepwise progress, too. Scaffolding is rooted in paying close attention
A6) Let the children guide their education
A6 Meet the SW kid where he is NOW & move forward together. Not the adult dragging, but arm-in-arm (in a sense). Partners.
A6) Recognize that behavior is communication and work collaboratively to figure out what they are trying to say, why and triggers
A6 These kids are bright enough to partner with for their success, even young ones.
A6) Parents can help their child discover who they are, their strengths by providing opps for recognizing personal strengths.
Hi all! Just made it over...
A6) Recognize that oppositional behavior is almost never a disorder, but a symptom
And that's all that needs to be said, really, about parenting/teaching G2E kids in a NUTSHELL https://t.co/VQjkInk4oI
A6 These kids are bright enough to partner with for their success, even young ones.
Yes! https://t.co/uT75nG00aP
A6) Recognize that behavior is communication and work collaboratively to figure out what they are trying to say, why and triggers
Embedding soc-emo learning strategies into curriculum is VITAL
RT A6) Recognize that oppositional behavior is almost never a disorder, but a symptom
A6) MODELING of positive, healthy relationships is vital, too.
Well said! Children are expected to conform for the convenience of the adults https://t.co/OkSXAliY3U
The most successful adults do NOT conform. Adulthood is about standing out, not fitting in
<< author of Emotional Intensity. (See earlier tweet - will include in blog post!) Hi, Christine!
Parenting & teaching these kids in a nutshell is crowded. Probably a classroom or living room has more space. ;)
A6) he's 16. we overcame a huge barrier when we sat down with him, listened to what was going on, and figured out a plan with him.
A6 engage in a dialogue with the L. Help them see that SW behavior isn't always bad if properly channeled. Encourage leadership.
A6) Relax! Know that it's okay to give space, not respond immediately, step back and self assess
A6) Create clear boundaries, establish supports & consider giving up control to "gain it"
A6) Teachers can encourage students to follow their passions through school activities that challenge & validate them.
A6) Parents & teachers can help the GT strong-willed child find an outlet for that grit and determination! https://t.co/YTSULCxTF6
RT A6) Teachers can encourage students to follow their passions through school activities that challenge & validate them.
A6) Both parents & teachers need to provide positive supports before issues arise; celebrate good behavior when demonstrated.
A6) Find the humor when you can. Really. Truly. It helps.
A6) Provide a comment box, exercise voice w/morning mtgs, provide a cool down area, institute behavior choice boards, break cards.
Yep, gotta laugh to keep from screaming.
This was so much fun tonight. I hadn't been able to come to the "new" night but schedule has changed. Enjoyed it. Thanks
A6) Use the intellectual and reasoning skills to help the child find ways to handle situations and express themselves
An excellent chat tonight
It’s been nice being back; I’ve missed
We’re nearly at the end of our chat today … final thoughts?
I don't know how people without a sense of humor make it to adulthood
A6) Genius hour will save your life!
This will be archived at and the link will be shared via later today
We'll be doing a special chat this summer on :)
My SW/GT kid was told his kite design was too big to stay up for 2 m. by his class. This is at 10 m. https://t.co/DAxhiUixAt
Before we go--Does anyone in have experience w/applying to the Davidson Young Scholars program? I'd like some help
Thanks to the extraordinary staff at for their awesome support; we couldn’t do it without them!
YAY, TAGT https://t.co/zlH3GNCMpn
Thanks to the extraordinary staff at for their awesome support; we couldn’t do it without them!
Thank you Lisa and advisory board, sponsors,supporters and everyone for another great
Thanks to the Advisory Board:
Before you go … build your Personal Learning Network and follow those whose comments you liked!
Thanks everyone! I have missed these and hope to be around for MORE of them!!! (Calendaring right now...)
There will be no chat next week due to the Memorial Day holiday in the U.S.
A6) Ts can have a weekly debate on a current event or topic of choice they will debate anyway, weave it into the fabric of classroom
Our next chat will be on Tues June 7th at 8E/7C/6M/5P (US)/Wed 8th June at 1AM (UK)/12.00 NZST/10.00 AEST.
Best moderator ever: !Thanks for ALL you do, Lisa!!
Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts & comments today. That’s what chats are all about!
<3 I have wonderful support!
