#resiliencechat Archive
Co-moderated by Dr. Robert Martinez and Sara Truebridge, #resiliencechat focuses on promoting resilience amongst educators and students.
Monday April 25, 2016
10:00 PM EDT
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Welcome to ! Who is out there joining us tonight?
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The nature of the concept of group dynamics theory, and practices, many of these indefinitely many levels.
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One minute until with and me,
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Scott from central Indiana is here for a bit!
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Hi Scott!! So glad you are here!
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"Rob" from northern California
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Hi, I'm Claire from Grove City College! Super excited for
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Hey
Carl from Emerald Australia
Passing through, let's see how much time I have before I need to get some work done
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Yo! Had some computer problems
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Jenny here. Bon soir mes amis!
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4/25/16 Topic: Boundaries -- has prepared some questions for us, and I will post them tonight-
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We often choose topics that are ones that "crop up" from what we are dealing with.Topic of Boundaries came up with some Ts.
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Great to have you here tonight, Claire!
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Hope some of ya can make it to tonight
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Love the land of Oz. Spent some time there!! Welcome Carl!
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Hi Claire. Where's Grove City?
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Good to see you again, Thomas!
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Hello, Thomas here, MN College elem edu student!
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ALWAYS a treat to have you in !!!!
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Are my tweets coming through this time?
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Thanks Sara. Always keen to talk and learn about resilience
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Tidbit: Caring relationships are vital in ed Tchrs must show they “care” for Ss & Ps w/o crossing professional boundaries.
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Tonight's topic is : Boundaries. (interesting--eh?)
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I always like to start with a Tidbit. Here goes...
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Tidbit: Caring relationships are vital in ed. Ts must show they sincerely care for Ss & Ps w/o crossing prof. boundaries.
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- yes you are in the feed!!!
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are you joining us or lurking tonight?
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Whoo-hoo!!! There is a God!!!
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Well I'm building a new fence to keep the alpacas away from the dog - so right on this
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Question 1 around the corner. If you haven't introduced yourself please do...
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Arm's length love is always difficult to maintain. Boundaries are essential.
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We also love to hear from newbies on !!!!
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Pretty sure I'm not him though :)
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Cool! https://t.co/KRqXgwIbBq
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Tidbit: Caring relationships are vital in ed. Ts must show they sincerely care for Ss & Ps w/o crossing prof. boundaries.
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Q1: Should teachers accept invitations to parties/lunches or outings with students or parents? Why or why not?
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https://t.co/B6u1gjxzUi
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Q1: Should teachers accept invitations to parties/lunches or outings with students or parents? Why or why not?
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Whoo.. A1. Interesting question. Uh...Only if parents/other adults will be present?
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RT of Q1 from 4/25/16 https://t.co/A0o2uQmI3H
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Q1: Should teachers accept invitations to parties/lunches or outings with students or parents? Why or why not?
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A1) No. Unless the relationship existed outside of school. Need to keep professional distance
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Q1: I had great relationships with all my parents yet rarely accepted lunch invitations while teaching their kids
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A1: Professionalism says no. Small town nowhere says with limitations. Arms length always.
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Good to know. How about for volunteers who volunteer in the classroom? https://t.co/urPFdEjhiW
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A1) No. Unless the relationship existed outside of school. Need to keep professional distance
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As a parent myself I know many parents through my kids. Then the relationship is different so I can do these things
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That's a good point since the relationship you have is a dual relationship
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A1. Difficult to place a constant on this. There are many considerations to make - maybe yes, maybe no.
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A1: Only if situation would not be perceived as compromising professionalism. https://t.co/wSDiAWOL3x
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Q1: Should teachers accept invitations to parties/lunches or outings with students or parents? Why or why not?
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A1 It unintentionally can create a quick preference for students. Unless every party is attended professionally- no way!
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Hmmm. I think if someone volunteered and worked with you then I would respect and treat them as staff
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So, keep professional distance, unless relationship exists prior to teaching
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Yes, each situation should be assessed by it's own pros and cons. Rigidity is not the way to always go.
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Yeah. Ive nevr been invited to parties unless its like a school thing. Tho, I see 'em as part of my work
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Too many people compromise professionalism for acceptance. "Self Need to be included"
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A1 - Difficult to speak about the need to build relationships as paramount to learning, then to say, no don't go 2 events
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I used to get invited to kids' b-day parties left & right but never felt comfortable
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I think there's a big difference b/t what type of event ie. sports/theater/performances vs. b-day parties
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A1: By making yourself visible in public on a regular basis, families will get to know you professionally and personally.
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As a vol. myself, I really only limit myself to school/public events,but not bday/house parties
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Picked up daughter from party where my Ss were at and there police present. All immediately assumed I was in teacher mode
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Doesn't this teach that not all relationships are 24/7 &that there are relationships that can express care?
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I felt terrible if I went to one Ss party and couldn't attend another S's party. Wouldn't want to show favoritism.
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I do however ask them to bring in any left over food
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Were you??? That must have been interesting!
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Hi, ! I was just reminiscing w a peer abt how many 1st communions & quinceneras I've been to. A real honor!
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I would concur, relationship building establishes trust, and should connote dependency. https://t.co/NHihIYyPep
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Doesn't this teach that not all relationships are 24/7 &that there are relationships that can express care?
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I used to run myself ragged going to 15 graduation parties in one day!
https://t.co/7e51T9v5l8
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I felt terrible if I went to one Ss party and couldn't attend another S's party. Wouldn't want to show favoritism.
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They were dealing with gate crashers so thus there to protect family whose part it was.
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The kids inside did not even know teh police were out there
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I get it. It is such a fine line and I also know that it means the world to Ss to show up!!
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that is my first reaction! It is a situation where students are likely to feel hurt
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Q2: Should a teacher discuss emotionally charged issues with students? Why or why not?
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Hmm. How about grad. parties? Are they acceptable to attend?
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That's different than a bday party though. Very openly public event. . Still a very huge honour to take that walk.
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More invites when I taught younger kids. I found it boundary-busting - way more valuable for me than kids!
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Q2 4/25/16 https://t.co/x1IDiab6Um
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Q2: Should a teacher discuss emotionally charged issues with students? Why or why not?
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I once taught w/a tchr who told his 4th gd. Ss he was on anti-depressants. It didn't go over too well w/parents.
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A2. Man, tough ?s I dont even know...My inexperienced is showing now. Maybe ask me again aftr a couple of yrs. XD
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A2) In very special times yes... but with advice and well thought out words (eg: if a death has occurred)
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A2: Depends upon the issue and age of Ss. Current events are great ways to get kids to interact. https://t.co/1mQmwLjJb7
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Q2: Should a teacher discuss emotionally charged issues with students? Why or why not?
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A2. If its over 2 friends arguing/fighting, it could be emotionally charged. Id feel more willing to discus. But home probs?
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Like I said, I think in the end, it's good to not be rigid about this & to see each situation in its own light.
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A2b) As a rule I believe that Ss should be able to know that what i say is fact: therefore I don't give opinions
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I love your honesty! We also love delving deep in when we can.
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Yes. current events are great. Also helps guide them through their feelings,connect w/ struggles
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A2- Many variables to consider: age, grade, issue, level of anxiety expected. Consult with Admin. Caution to be alone here!
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I might argue that in HS if a topuc doesn't have some emotional charge, it's not worth teaching! https://t.co/7rascRUtVU
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Q2: Should a teacher discuss emotionally charged issues with students? Why or why not?
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If I discuss a current event i give as many sides of story as possible and keep impartial
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A2: as guided conversations. I teach 1:1 so my convos are diff. S leads and I reply with feeling questions.
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A2 With a mature class, yes. But that will be hard to come across. If it can be done well, it teaches GREAT life skills
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Yeah,Im just into the entrance courses phase of my edu career. Nxt 2 yrs.,more in depth.
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A2 About 20 years ago, we had a stadium full of high school kids, and the conversation was about stopping suicide contagion
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Yes! There is definitely truth to that especially as it increases Ss engagement when there are strong feelings.
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Yes but i assume it has a place in the curriculum. I wouldn't bring up a topic just for chit chat
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Right....charges does bot have to mean negative!
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Mustve been uncomfortable
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- I surely would not recommend this to anyone, yet, we were desperate to tell kids about resources.
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Ss also need time for catharsis in times of conflict and pain. Seek help from admin or counselor. https://t.co/eFb4IMLNmW
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Yes! There is definitely truth to that especially as it increases Ss engagement when there are strong feelings.
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Intense I am sure. And a very important topic for our kids in many areas these days.
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Doing the right and supportive thing is not always easy.
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wonder how the HS would approach it now, w/ phones, internet
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Q3...Here's an interesting question...
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Q3: What are some things that a teacher should never discuss with/or divulge to a student or parent?
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1 of my sons and a few friends produced a video as part of a class. https://t.co/tnjqeVy162
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wonder how the HS would approach it now, w/ phones, internet
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you should come to Woodstock and talk to these kids.
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A3. Private life. School is not a place to share your gossips to any1
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A3 As a pre-t, I don't have a quick answer, but am already thankful for what everyone else will say! Boundaries are not...
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Q3, 4/26/16 https://t.co/RCdtRCyXcw
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Q3: What are some things that a teacher should never discuss with/or divulge to a student or parent?
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A3 ...a huge discussion for teachers in college besides legalistically
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A3: Personal, adult situations that are, by nature, intended to stay personal. https://t.co/Jq65dGf5cW
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Q3: What are some things that a teacher should never discuss with/or divulge to a student or parent?
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A3. Nor should staff unload their home life problems to any Ss. Tho, sharing pets, shenanigans (funny ones), should be ok
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A3: Like I said, I taught w/ a tchr who told his 4th graders he was on antidepressants. That perhaps wasn't necessary
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A3: Other Ts/As personal lives or activities. https://t.co/Jq65dGf5cW
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Q3: What are some things that a teacher should never discuss with/or divulge to a student or parent?
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A3: Must stay wary of the slippery slopes, and subjects that should be referred to an expert. Can't solve it all!
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Yeah, I've found that theres things u learn to deal w/ that we dont talk abt in classes. Encourage volnteer
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It happens in HS too. I had a tchr in HS publicly date a student.
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Huh. I didn't see the usual reminder about
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Although we move forward on Q's, feel free to answer any of the earlier ones as well.
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Funny stories abt. pets, baby siblings, if we saw the latest marvel movies, keep it light,super casual
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Any other ideas of what Ts should never discuss with/or divulge to a student or parent?
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My barometer: would I want another T divulging the same information about ME? https://t.co/aEXoOqIHmw
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Any other ideas of what Ts should never discuss with/or divulge to a student or parent?
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Yup...you have that right. Hopefully back to my invites next week. It's a nice thing to do
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Moving right along...on to Q4...
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Partying, clubbing, who's hot and who's not.... The list could be endless!
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Q4: Under what circumstances is it ever appropriate for Ts to share personal views with Ss and/or Ps?
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Missed the obvious. Other S/P info to other Ss/Ps
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A4 Out of class, not forcefully, and when a student comes to you.
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I also had a tchr in HS who wanted to be "best friends" w/Ss and would host parties at his house--w/alcohol!!!
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Q4, 4/25/16 https://t.co/fbnIu2te0P
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Q4: Under what circumstances is it ever appropriate for Ts to share personal views with Ss and/or Ps?
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Understood, but I guess I inadvertently missed this week. I will be resilient next week.
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Can I clarify, personal views abt. Ss/Ps? Or just personal views in general?
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Not sure I agree. I share w/Ss that my father died when I was 11 and I grew up with a single parent. https://t.co/C1OjwGQYLm
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A4: maybe only when trying to resolve an issue between Ss. Not sure really.
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A4: Depends upon the topic/situation. COULD be a conversation starter...or it COULD backfire. https://t.co/MxpaX3Z8O9
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Q4: Under what circumstances is it ever appropriate for Ts to share personal views with Ss and/or Ps?
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Hey Debbie!!! Good to see you!! Can you see my tweets???
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A3)
anything about another student.
Things of a sexual nature.
Anything illegal
and probably any military secrets
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This is a good point to raise.
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I agree. Many situations need to be assessed on their own individual circumstances.
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You mean likehHow cute that is...stuff like that, right? https://t.co/BaPS3jnCKu
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Partying, clubbing, who's hot and who's not.... The list could be endless!
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Sharing is also a form of developing empathy and understanding.
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He is stinking cute!!! ROFL... Yea things like that...
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You took the words right out of my mouth...I mean Tweet.
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Lessons in and overcoming do provide insight and support trust development.
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Q5...put on your thinking cap...,
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Is it something you simply offer or you disclose when appropriate. There's a difference in the why of sharing then.
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I ended up in the hospital last week--didn't mind that my Ts shared that w/ Ss--showed my humanness. https://t.co/NNxNlXoMlw
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Sharing is also a form of developing empathy and understanding.
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Q5: What behaviors do you question as to whether or not they cross boundaries?
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A4) In that very small situation where emotional fragility is involved and it will not undermine you later
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A5) Like... "Yes I remember when my cat died and I cried for a week"
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A4 Sometimes, if a kid asks me directly in context of a classwide open exchange, I'll give my point of view. But rarely.
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This gets especially tricky during elections...
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A5. Hmm....Hugging Ss? Esp. when I see them in hallways
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A5 Time spent with students in school. Used to have teachers sign students out of lunch to talk... not the best idea
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A4 And I would never support a specific political candidate or party in class. Ever.
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A5: I worry about the behind some actions. If there is more benefit to the adult, than Student, I'm troubled
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A5: Repeated one-on-one meetings. https://t.co/uXfUpFYC59
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Q5: What behaviors do you question as to whether or not they cross boundaries?
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A lot also depends on grade level and gender.
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I tell them the truth, that I never tell anyone, ever, for whom I vote. That said, with this election...
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That explains a "why" not misc sharing for the sake of sharing.
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As a former HS band director, I ALWAYS had to be cognizant of such interactions.
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A5 w/many relationships if the balance of power is off, or others are excluded (parents-colleagues-other students) I worry
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A5) I tell Ss about things I do outside of school as long as they are not inappropriate. Sometimes they come close to line
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... I do find myself saying "Well, I will say I would never vote for an open racist."
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Let's turn to the issue of social media within this topic...
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A5: behaviors that don't align to core principles. .
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Oh man...it really has....
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Q6: What are the boundaries b/t tchrs, Ss, and parents around social media?
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If you won't shouted it out in church during silent prayer or meditation, perhaps it is best to honor the given silence.
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A5b) There might be farming practices I tell Ss. (easy one: I was cleaning the stables and got faeces all over me)
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Thats a pretty good marker
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Now there's some good criteria...
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A6 Always have permission from Ss & Ps to post w/ student's image
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A6: Many schools have policies concerning this.... https://t.co/gQCrFFfGH7
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A6 Always have permission from Ss & Ps to post w/ student's image
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I find myself asking provocative questions when a student is openly racist to make them think
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Do you think it is appropriate for a T to post on a S's FB or other site of the student's?
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Yes I can. Too bad I missed
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I think pushing a Ss to think is part of our charge.
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Reminds of a story related to Q6. A S followed me on twitter. I was really excited that Hamilton won grammy that...
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A6 I think that all falls under personal life... unless it's a professional account!
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A6 I'm not connected on Facebook with any students/parents. Twitter posts are visible to all anyway, so there, I am.
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A6) We are not allowed to have a Facebook friend who has a student as a friend. Easier for me not to be on FB
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No. The T/S boundary line becomes very blurry. https://t.co/xtEAfR2nJo
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Do you think it is appropriate for a T to post on a S's FB or other site of the student's?
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But what do you REALLY think, Bill?? ;)
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was cursing up a storm when Hamilton won grammy. Apparently he was angry since we discussed abt digital footprints...
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As Twitter is visible I am always aware that what i tweet may be read by a S or P. Always a T on twitter
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Well said my friend. Well said!
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Yup. One false move and it is curtains...
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I know. I really need to learn to put myself out there.
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I wasnt there, but the T discussed it w/ him & told me abt it. T understood snce my twitter isnt professional, but...
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Hehehe. Glad you do it here on Wouldn't want you any other way!
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I watch my language from now on in twitter. XD. Altho, it was flattering that he looked up to me that much. Only a volunteer
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That's why I an open about not voting for someone I find to be racist. Don't want them thinking I might.
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Although I talk about my passions (alpacas and women's soccer) on twitter
Don't care if anyone sees that
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Last question of the night...
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Q7: What are you going to do tomorrow as a result of tonight?
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And yeah, I dont want to be FB friends w/ Ss or Ps unless theyre at least graduated out of any Schl I will Teach in
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Good point. Once kids graduated, my relationship changes with some Ps & Ss.
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Q7 - Last Q of the night, 4/25/16 https://t.co/FxhvrkfA4c
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Q7: What are you going to do tomorrow as a result of tonight?
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Q7 Ask questions on questions! Can't wait to discuss these topics further with professors. Lots of new thoughts for me
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I make it a point to have them make 1st move tho. If theyre willing to look for me, then I honor that...
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I hear you. That's where "I don't even tell my family for whom I'm voting" can help. "Really?" they say. "Yup."
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I love it that you were here on . Let us know what happens as you discuss this with others.
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work to still build between educators/students, and strive for healthy connections between the two.
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A7 Look through the first 45 minutes of ?!
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... especially since I don't use my real last name on fb. I did it in twitter so y'all dont have issues XD
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A7. Reflect on what really is my boundaries. As a vol.,compared to as a T...
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Another insightful discussion on I like getting into some deeper discussions that are a bit thought provoking. Do you?
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Great interactions tonight! So glad tweets were showing. Enjoy the week all!
