Welcome to #EduAR! I am one of the founders of the chat, along with my AMAZING #EduSistas@nortnik and @Lindsey_Bohler. We are excited to shake it up a bit tonight with questions in the form of scenarios!
Welcome to #EduAR tonight! The #EduSistas@bethhill2829@nortnik and myself have put a slight twist on tonight's chat! Hope you can learn from each other and take it back to your real life situations!
Hi y’all! Elyse from Colleyville, Texas. In transition mode leaving South TX to go closer to home and be a behavior unit Teacher next year. New adventures await. #EduAR
Hi y’all! Elyse from Colleyville, Texas. In transition mode leaving South TX to go closer to home and be a behavior unit Teacher next year. New adventures await. #EduAR
A1. Asking him if he would like to talk more about how he is feeling or if his friends can give him a warm hug and let him know how much they are about him. #EduAr
A1 When a student trusts with his/her story, we need to honor them. Be more mindful of vocabulary, stories, references to parents. Spend that extra time in the AM or PM to talk to them, to show them they matter. Keep the magic & normal in their life. Build a relationship. #eduAR
A1. Asking him if he would like to talk more about how he is feeling or if his friends can give him a warm hug and let him know how much they are about him. #EduAr
A1:I think I would take the first opportunity to verify. It has been my experience that sometimes Ss can tell tall tales just to get a reaction.
T: See what the family needs in terms of support. Be available for the Ss to talk to.
F: Let the family know.
#EduAR
A1: Not so funny, but this is very similar to a scenario that did happen this year in my class. I pulled him aside and talked privately. I did call his foster mother and talk to her as well. I continued to give him a safe place to be. #EduAr
A1: Model empathy by acknowledging that he is feeling sad right now. Remind Ss that this is why we have am meetings...so we know what is going on and how to best interact on this day. Talk with him privately to see if there is anything that he needs from you. #eduAR
A1: Model empathy by acknowledging that he is feeling sad right now. Remind Ss that this is why we have am meetings...so we know what is going on and how to best interact on this day. Talk with him privately to see if there is anything that he needs from you. #eduAR
A1: Unfortunately, I’ve experienced this scenario! Let him know you’re proud he felt safe enough to share & that you are there if he wants to talk more! Follow up in the days ahead to check in on him one-on-one & see how he’s doing. Pour love into him & be s listening ear! #EduAR
A1: So tough!! I always try to be mindful of my face and tone in a situation like this. I remind myself 'love the sinner not the sin' and understand the child loves their family so much & the class,too, since he shared! Queit affirmations & a lunch date would be in order! #EduAr
A1: Not so funny, but this is very similar to a scenario that did happen this year in my class. I pulled him aside and talked privately. I did call his foster mother and talk to her as well. I continued to give him a safe place to be. #EduAr
I would express empathy towards Mason and let him know I am glad that he is at school today. I would continue with the meeting to not call too much attention to Mason and check in with him privately after the meeting. #EduAR
A1 remember to be there for him more so than before. Remember he may not be as vested as you’d like for him to be. Extra conferencing 1:1 in case he wants to chat. Maybe a new writing journal? #eduAR
I think the follow up in the days ahead are extremely important! He may be in a little shock at hearing the initial news. May be more difficult as the days pass. #EduAR
Validate any feelings Mason has&let him know his feelings are ok. Work with him to brainstorm ways that he can process the positive feelings of love towards his father by writing letters or cards when he gets to school. To save or mail. Assure home family support. #eduar
Ask if he wants to continue in front of peers. Then I need to talk with him 1-1 if he wants. Contact mum, family to offer support. Be available to Mason anytime. Let him know to come to you #eduAR
A1: I would offer further support to the student throughout the meeting and check on him throughout the day. Question: While maintaining some confidentially, is it okay to email other teachers of the student? In case of some irregular behaviors or emotions? #eduAR
Ask if he wants to continue in front of peers. Then I need to talk with him 1-1 if he wants. Contact mum, family to offer support. Be available to Mason anytime. Let him know to come to you #eduAR
A1) Understand that Mason’s behaviors may not be a reflection of the school and it is not personal. He is looking for a way to communicate his inner feelings. #EduAr
I love the point that @D4Griffin3 just brought up...kids' behaviors and emotions are something we cannot take personally, but we can take them to heart and empathize. #EduAR
A2: This is where Trauma-Informed/Trauma-Responsive comes into play. S needs to know that his outburst will not be tolerated in the classroom, but also needs a safe place/safe person to go to when he becomes dysregulated. Training in mindfulness, too #eduAR
A1. Thank and acknowledge Mason for sharing his story. Afterwards, talk to him about what bavery and courage he exhibited by sharing this story with everyone and thank him for coming to school today! #eduar
A2: This is where Trauma-Informed/Trauma-Responsive comes into play. S needs to know that his outburst will not be tolerated in the classroom, but also needs a safe place/safe person to go to when he becomes dysregulated. Training in mindfulness, too #eduAR
A2 First and foremost you make sure the needs of the student are met. Let the student calm down and lead through a reflection piece. Perhaps the student doesn’t have the social skills to process. It’s not personal. #EduAR
Tough one! This is where knowing and having a relationship with the student is so important. Will this student respond to having some way to express himself through art, music, writing, other? Would he respond better by talking to someone? #EduAR
A2: i would ask for time to make sure I am mindful in the convo & tell Luke that I had to take a walk, get water, ect bcI want to make sure Im calm & can understand w/out saying things I will regret. I think it would be important to try to give Luke a hug & an I love you. #eduAR
A2 Every child needs to be listened to and understood. You need to take the time to let each child voice and live his feelings. You need to deal with the behavior, but in parallel to the emotions. Punishment without voice is wrong. #eduAR
Give him a safe place to let out his frustrations & have time to come back to some level where he can express his feelings & discuss the situation. Sometimes sensory tools/activities can assist. #EduAR
A2: I agree with @D4Griffin3 about taking things personally. I had a student this year do this as well as scenario 1. It is hard, but I stayed calm, removed the classroom to the hall. Student in room began to sweep-his go to thing. Every 3 min. I asked if he was ready to talk.
A1: ask Mason if he wants to talk privately or see the Counselor. If not, give him space and continue building trust with him. I would try to find out what he loves to do and possibly do a lesson around that theme. Make him feel special and loved.#EduAR
Tough one! This is where knowing and having a relationship with the student is so important. Will this student respond to having some way to express himself through art, music, writing, other? Would he respond better by talking to someone? #EduAR
A2b Behavior is communication. Throwing a desk shows something. Don’t judge. Allow the student to calm down, be comforted, and create a plan for the rest of the day. #EduAR
Calming down is so vital. When a child (or adult) is in their emotional state, we shouldn't attempt to reason with them. They need to return to their executive state, then we can talk (if the child is ready). #EduAR
A2 First and foremost you make sure the needs of the student are met. Let the student calm down and lead through a reflection piece. Perhaps the student doesn’t have the social skills to process. It’s not personal. #EduAR
#EduAr
A2) I would explain to him that I understand how stressful his situation is and can only imagine how hard it was for all that he is feeling to be held inside. He has to know that you appreciate his situation and don't take his situation personally. Kids r people too
Students appreciate clear communication, even when they don’t like the consequences. Too much positivity at all costs attitude going on. Kids don’t respect fake. #EduAR#S2
A1: ask Mason if he wants to talk privately or see the Counselor. If not, give him space and continue building trust with him. I would try to find out what he loves to do and possibly do a lesson around that theme. Make him feel special and loved.#EduAR
A2. When reading #Path2Serendipity today, the 7th and 9th Stops (pg 48 and 59) - share amazing examples of how to help students with challenges such as this one. #EduAr
A2 Again, empathy is critical. Listen and offer support. Be firm that this behavior is never okay, but the feelings that led to it are understandable. At some point, discuss other options for expressing anger, fear, frustration, etc. #EduAr
Yes!! Every day is a fresh start. I once had a student write me a letter a year after being in my class thanking me for starting each day fresh. The impact is huge! #eduar
A2: continued... We then talked and made a plan to bring classmates back in and how to handle frustration. This student also has a strong family, that can help in tough situations. #EduAR
A2 Again, empathy is critical. Listen and offer support. Be firm that this behavior is never okay, but the feelings that led to it are understandable. At some point, discuss other options for expressing anger, fear, frustration, etc. #EduAr
We have Think Sheets that we fill out with students after violent outbursts that ask:
what the student chose to do, how it made them feel, what they can do next time they feel a certain way and how it feels when they make a positive choice. We discuss the sheet together. #EduAR
A2: The S needs a more appropriate outlet to express he feelings. As the T, I would try to meet with him & our school counselor to discuss the outburst & offer alternative ways for the student to share what he’s feeling. #EduAR
Students appreciate clear communication, even when they don’t like the consequences. Too much positivity at all costs attitude going on. Kids don’t respect fake. #EduAR#S2
A2. This student lives in a challenging environment and the complexity of his overt behaviors show this. This one will take a great deal of time with professionals who specialize in trauma. #EduAr
A2: I think it’s important to give time to cool down before trying to process. Also definitely need the chance to process with Ss that were present during the desk throwing. In an optimum setting you can sit down as a class and process together. #Eduar
A2: The S needs a more appropriate outlet to express he feelings. As the T, I would try to meet with him & our school counselor to discuss the outburst & offer alternative ways for the student to share what he’s feeling. #EduAR
A2: I think it’s important to give time to cool down before trying to process. Also definitely need the chance to process with Ss that were present during the desk throwing. In an optimum setting you can sit down as a class and process together. #Eduar
We have Think Sheets that we fill out with students after violent outbursts that ask:
what the student chose to do, how it made them feel, what they can do next time they feel a certain way and how it feels when they make a positive choice. We discuss the sheet together. #EduAR
I think this is hugely imp. Much of pop media is laced with the idea that we can't overpower our own feelings and rewire responses. Brain sci demonstrates that isn't true. Knowing that can be empowering for a S. #eduar
Absolutely. As a lead learner of a school, my tribe has a system to call for assistance from me and the AP so we can support the teacher, class, and child. We also have staff with flexible schedules who support kids that need a break from the classroom. #EduAR
A2: I think it’s important to give time to cool down before trying to process. Also definitely need the chance to process with Ss that were present during the desk throwing. In an optimum setting you can sit down as a class and process together. #Eduar
A2. Behavior is a child's way of trying to tell a teacher a message of some kind. Sometimes, we need to work with a Ss 1:1 to find out what's going on behind the scene's and talk or do homework together! Children deserve mult. chances! Comm. is hard with prob and trust! #eduar
A2: Should we also talk to the class that witness the outburst & make sure they understand if they have experienced a bad situation that they should maybe find a better way to express their frustration #EduAR
A2) Another piece we need to add is helping adults understand the situation as well. Allowing adults to share their feelings, process, and debrief truly allow for more proactive planning for the days ahead. #EduAr
A3:Oh, Lordy! How about a conversation with Mom about whether or not the Ss needs to go along and the effect that is putting on her grades? If taking her along is a must, you could provide time to help S with the reading during a different part of the day and let her sleep #eduAR
A3. Ask the parent if they might have time to sit down with you when their busy schedule allows - hopefully, away from school. Ask if the two of you can brainstorm possible solutions for the challenging behaviors you see in her daughter. Be a partner in the solution #EduAr
A3 Provide a safe place. Perhaps the student needs to sleep in the nurses office for a time period or their schedule can be changed. There can be a solution or compromise for student success. #EduAR
Communicate to parent how the lack of sleep is impacting school, encourage her to go to sleep earlier, make sure she’s had a nutritious breakfast, get her up - can she have PE first period? #toughchat#stretch#EduAR
A2: Pause! Put time and space between you and the student. When all parties are collected then have conversations about the behavior and offer alternatives. I have a Calm Down Corner in my class where kids can go to deal with their emotions in alternative ways. #EduAR
Agreed. We can’t always choose our feelings. In fact, it’s not healthy to repress them. But we can respond in either helpful or harmful ways. That part is a choice. #EduAr
A3: Tough one...have dealt w/ this situation more than once. Need to remember hunger can also be factor for sleeping in class. Up all night hungry, then after breakfast at school I am full and need to sleep. #eduAR
A3 Some home scenarios cannot change no matter our willingness. See how you can be creative with school schedule to allow for certain adaptations to help learning. We often feel schedule is fixed. We can be more innovative if we try. Work with Amanda to help her. #eduAR
@BethHouf If we neglect the feelings of those that were present, then we take a chance of those students being somewhat traumatized and going home with misinformation that may lead to rumors, parents reacting in negative ways, and more fires. #eduAR
@BethHouf If we neglect the feelings of those that were present, then we take a chance of those students being somewhat traumatized and going home with misinformation that may lead to rumors, parents reacting in negative ways, and more fires. #eduAR
100% agree. There’s a point beyond reason that I see too many adults trying to reason through. Take a deep breath and wait. Crisis isn’t just a second act. #eduAR
A3: I would express to mom the impact it’s having on the S. Discuss options ideas together to help meet the needs of the S so she can be more successful. #EduAR
A3: Knowing our kids' history and current reality is crucial. We cannot change some of the circumstances, but we cannot use them as excuses to not make a difference. We CAN make a difference. Always. #EduAR
I agree! Along with @teacherstenger Out Burst review, including the class in the conversation would help provide some healing and opportunities for others to learn.
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A2: Should we also talk to the class that witness the outburst & make sure they understand if they have experienced a bad situation that they should maybe find a better way to express their frustration #EduAR
A3: Knowing our kids' history and current reality is crucial. We cannot change some of the circumstances, but we cannot use them as excuses to not make a difference. We CAN make a difference. Always. #EduAR
A4 You definitely need to address the situation. If you say nothing, you accept it. A meeting one on one needs to happen. Let them share their story. Listen for the why to their behaviour. Then you need to explain why it needs to change. #eduAR
A4 Oh gosh, this one is tough. If you have a relationship with the teacher, I’d go to them first and express your thoughts. If you don’t, I’d go to your AP or administrator to express your concerns. #EduAR
At our school we meet Amanda where she is. She has basic needs to be met. Not all schools can accommodate this. We would work out a plan to help with first period; after school, lunch, etc. talking to the parent is key, #eduAR
This is a situation where we must come together and place Amanda’s personal needs over content and come up with an action plan that will guarantee her success as well. I would give time after school. #EduAr
A3. Talk with the parent about the importance of sleep, seek childcare assistance watching child, and offer mentoring through school to help her catch up. #eduar
A3: This happens a lot with HS Ss who are working to support their family; we’ve created some alternative schedules; virtual school & night school to help #EduAR
A3 this is tricky I think some open communication with mom to say I understand that this 4am job is prob necessary but can we make some changes in evening routines to get to bed earlier? Do not make a parent having to work into a kid issue by blaming Ss #EduAR
Completely agree on this. I am a lead learner, and have had teachers approach me witih a concern like this in the past. Admin cannnot see everything, and as a staff we need to hold each other accountable for acting ethically. #EduAR
A4 Oh gosh, this one is tough. If you have a relationship with the teacher, I’d go to them first and express your thoughts. If you don’t, I’d go to your AP or administrator to express your concerns. #EduAR
A3 I would want to describe what’s happening at school with her mom. “Let’s work together to see if we can find a way to make things better.” No judgment just a focus on possible solutions and the child’s best interest. #EduAr
Talk with the teacher and tell them what you have observed in a non judgemental way. Ask if there is anything you can do to help them. If behavior continues talk with the principal. Ss are why we are here; they need us to advocate for them when they cannot do it themselves.#EduAR
This requires a crucial conversation- find out their story, what is going on in their life to react that way- try to show empathy but in no way accept that kind of behavior. Teachers have to expect the best from their colleagues! Name it and help change it! #eduAR
Talk with the teacher and tell them what you have observed in a non judgemental way. Ask if there is anything you can do to help them. If behavior continues talk with the principal. Ss are why we are here; they need us to advocate for them when they cannot do it themselves.#EduAR
A4 - I always attempt a positive approach. “Is everything okay? I saw you were really upset with a student. Is there something I can help with?” That’s a start. Then depending on the answer is where the conversation goes. Diffuse first, educate second, intervene third. #EduAR
I’d ask to speak with her some time after school. Some kids don’t get sarcasm and it has no place in school. There are better ways to collaborate with kids! #eduAR
So... a question - The teacher has been talked to by colleagues, it has been reported to admin., and nothing changes, except the cold shoulder and negativity from others. What can one do? #EduAr
Completely agree on this. I am a lead learner, and have had teachers approach me witih a concern like this in the past. Admin cannnot see everything, and as a staff we need to hold each other accountable for acting ethically. #EduAR
A4 Oh gosh, this one is tough. If you have a relationship with the teacher, I’d go to them first and express your thoughts. If you don’t, I’d go to your AP or administrator to express your concerns. #EduAR
I would want the teacher to reach out to the frustrated teacher (if there is a relationship) and have a conversation. I would also want to know about it and would expect her to come to me out of concern for kids AND her colleague. It is unacceptable, but T might need help. #EduAR
A4 - I always attempt a positive approach. “Is everything okay? I saw you were really upset with a student. Is there something I can help with?” That’s a start. Then depending on the answer is where the conversation goes. Diffuse first, educate second, intervene third. #EduAR
In a toxic climate, the principal would probably not be a strong enough leader to support the teacher and address the issue. In better schools, no one would tolerate that kind of treatment to students and I would think that the admin would be onboard with that. #eduAR
As an administrator, I would hope that our team was strong enough that a teacher would step up and mentor, support and guide. It all depends on the culture of the school, or even the grade level team. #eduAR
I am so glad you are benefiting from it! Yes....they are tough situations of adversity, and hard to talk about. This convo is proof that we can talk about adversity through a postivity. #EduAR
The conversations that happen after this are critical and must be done when the student has regained composure. In Crisis Training we always say that good “post-vention” = prevention. It is how you help the child reflect that makes progress.
A4. Talk with the teacher first and find out the entire situation. See if the teacher might have been experiencing problems, too. Talk about what was observed in a caring manner and why your concerned! #eduar
But if we don't have the conversations, aren't we condoning the behavior? #eduar How to have Crucial conversations can be taught, practiced, and learned. #EduAR
A4. Talk with the teacher first and find out the entire situation. See if the teacher might have been experiencing problems, too. Talk about what was observed in a caring manner and why your concerned! #eduar
A5: Phone call home! Find out what's going on. Find out what you can do to help. Offer community resources, if needed. Implement a Peace Corner and Zones of Regulation. #eduAR
#5:Without Admin stepping up to help with this child, I would consult resources such as Conscious Discipline, Love and Logic, Brain Based Teaching among others for some ideas. I would also consult with the SPED teachers as well as the school psychologist. It takes a team! #EDUAR
A5 Behavior teacher hat on. I would have the teacher complete an ABC chart to figure out the function of the behaviors and create a calm down area for the S. Private convos, redirection, & defines limits for the S as well. #EduAR
#5:Without Admin stepping up to help with this child, I would consult resources such as Conscious Discipline, Love and Logic, Brain Based Teaching among others for some ideas. I would also consult with the SPED teachers as well as the school psychologist. It takes a team! #EDUAR
A5. One important factor in this scenario is that the child is very young, kindergarten age, increasing structure, engaging activities the child selects between 2 or 3 options, and developing a partnership with the family are all important. #EduAr
A5 Behavior teacher hat on. I would have the teacher complete an ABC chart to figure out the function of the behaviors and create a calm down area for the S. Private convos, redirection, & defines limits for the S as well. #EduAR
A5 You need to build a relationship with that student. You need to find the why behind the actions. You need to reach out to his heart to be able to properly support their emotional needs and their learning needs. There is no fast answer. Never give up. #eduAR
But if we don't have the conversations, aren't we condoning the behavior? #eduar How to have Crucial conversations can be taught, practiced, and learned. #EduAR
I think I’d talk with the student in a non confrontational but collaborative manner. Maybe it happens during specific times, like math or transitional times. I’d want the student to feel comfortable talking to me. #eduAR
#5:Without Admin stepping up to help with this child, I would consult resources such as Conscious Discipline, Love and Logic, Brain Based Teaching among others for some ideas. I would also consult with the SPED teachers as well as the school psychologist. It takes a team! #EDUAR
A5: I would really focus on 2x10! Try & get to know S better & see if you can identify what’s triggering the outbursts. Find out what the S is interested in & see if you can incorporate that into the classroom! Set small goals for the S to increase behavior! #eduaR
A5 One of the most valuable things I try to do when students are acting out is not react. Their behavior is spiraling and they need you to be the constant. Consistency and routine are huge for our Ss too. #EduAR
A5: It would be time to call upon your school's trauma team or contact the behav. team at the local AEA for resources and help. I think it would be important to know some family history-he had to hear "whore" from somewhere. There may need to be social service help in the home.
A5. I have also observed kindergarten teachers who were extremely successful with students just like this one by beginning the day spending 2 minutes with the child. #EduAr
A5: I would really focus on 2x10! Try & get to know S better & see if you can identify what’s triggering the outbursts. Find out what the S is interested in & see if you can incorporate that into the classroom! Set small goals for the S to increase behavior! #eduaR
A5 -,First of all, hitting and the language used is cause for alarm. While the teacher does have various techniques available, parents must be involved immediately. If administrators did nothing, then it’s time to look for another job. The behaviors are destroying things. #EduAR
YES. There is a HUGE difference in reacting and responding.
Reacting means we are taking it personal, and being confrontational with the child.
Responding means we are validating the emotion, and putting a support in place to help the child and us.
#EduAR
A5 One of the most valuable things I try to do when students are acting out is not react. Their behavior is spiraling and they need you to be the constant. Consistency and routine are huge for our Ss too. #EduAR
Sometimes a mobile assessment might be necessary, if the famly is on board. The counselor is a resource for this, especially if admin are not supportive. #EduAR
A5 -,First of all, hitting and the language used is cause for alarm. While the teacher does have various techniques available, parents must be involved immediately. If administrators did nothing, then it’s time to look for another job. The behaviors are destroying things. #EduAR
A6. You can be supportive in helping to facilitate conversations between social services and the family. Extremely complex issues that will take years. School counselor or psychologist will stay in close contact with the family over time. #EduAr
A5. Try working with the Ss 1:1 on a diff proj. or activity to get this Ss to talk and open-up! Reflection for the Ss to use his voice and explain why he's using this behavior! Work with Parents! What's going on at home? #eduar
A6 You need to act fast and safe. You need to protect every child that is in your care at school. Separate meetings need to happen, discussios need to take place. Support needs to be there for the family. Well being of every child is vital. Invest time & heart. #eduAR
A6. You can be supportive in helping to facilitate conversations between social services and the family. Extremely complex issues that will take years. School counselor or psychologist will stay in close contact with the family over time. #EduAr
While I agree in the teacher building relationships, remember you’re teaching a whole class. Physical and verbal abuse influence the entire class and possibly the school. This is above just teacher interaction, especially if behaviors are repeated. #EduAR
Very heavy! We decided to take a risk and be very REAL and transparent about things we as educators witness in our daily interactions with children. We need each other to learn as much as we can to be the best we can be for these tough circumstances. #EduAR
A6 - Family services must be contacted and counseling are key in helping the situation. We must always use the proper resources at our disposal. #EduAR
A5 Amen! My thoughts exactly! I was forced to go with a video to a past superintendent one time to protect my classroom family, and to take a stand for learning! There are some conditions that love and relationships can’t fix and that is a sad reality. #EduAR
A5 -,First of all, hitting and the language used is cause for alarm. While the teacher does have various techniques available, parents must be involved immediately. If administrators did nothing, then it’s time to look for another job. The behaviors are destroying things. #EduAR
Absolutely incredible conversation tonight on some very REAL and heavy situations that we face in our schools. Thank you all for sharing with us tonight! #EduAR
I agree! I’ve been listening to Lost at School and the scenarios are similar. My school is a behavior school. Relationships, communication and care of our students is number one! #eduAR
For many schools across our country scenarios like these happen every day and tremendously caring educators try their very best to help families. We should all be in awe and applaud their efforts whenever possible. #EduAr
I agree! I’ve been listening to Lost at School and the scenarios are similar. My school is a behavior school. Relationships, communication and care of our students is number one! #eduAR
